With Riley Ross
Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on RAW. I will use copious amounts of cursing, sarcasm, and mean insults. Consider this to be your final warning. On tonight’s showing of RAW we will continue to see the fallout from the Authority’s actions from the past couple of weeks. Hopefully we will get to see the buildup to the Survivor Series which is twelve days away. Tonight we are live from live from Manchester, England. On commentary we have the talented duo of Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler, oh yeah the insufferable and intolerable JBL is with them. Opening up the show is a tribute to those that have served in our military. This review is dedicated to my fellow servicemen and servicewomen. Thank you for all that you do for us.
A recap of Big Show being hired back and getting a shot at Orton’s title shot is shown. I see I missed a lot while I was out of action for a few weeks. Michael Cole informs us that the Authority aka Stephanie McMahon and Triple H are on vacation.
Randy Orton comes out to bitch and moan about the Big Show. He references the beating he and the Shield gave the Big Show last week on RAW. He vows that he is in charge of tonight’s show while Stephanie and Trips are away. Here comes Bradette Maddox to interrupt. He says that since he is the GM of RAW, he is in charge of RAW. Before he can stammer out anything else, here comes Corporate Kane. Since he is the Director of Operations, he is in charge while the Authority is away. Maddox makes the match between Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes. Kane interjects and says that it is Goldust vs. Randy Orton. Oh shit, here comes Screech Owl, I mean Vickie G. to insert herself into the fold. She makes the upcoming match a handicap match. It will be Orton vs. Goldust and Cody Rhodes.
Randy Orton vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes—Goldust faces off with Orton first. He takes down Orton and they start chain wrestling. They trade blows before Goldust slams him down. Goldust goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. Here comes Cody fresh off of the tag. He suplexes Orton before going for a cover but Orton once again kicks out. Orton starts kicking at Rhodes before upper cutting him. Here comes Goldust who goes for a quick pin but Orton kicks out. Orton smiles sadistically as he locks Goldust into the corner. He slams his face into the turnbuckle before clotheslining him. He goes for a pin but Goldust kicks out. Orton starts stomping away at him slowly and methodically. He stomps away at the midsection before putting Goldust in the corner. Goldust starts to make a comeback as he trades blows and knees with Orton. Orton flings him into the corner but Goldust kicks him. Orton takes him down before we go to the commercial break. Back from commercial and Orton is in control of the match. He has Goldust in a side headlock but Goldy makes a comeback. He rolls Orton up and but the champion kicks out. He finally tags in Cody who delivers a missile dropkick to Orton. He rolls him up and Orton kicks out. Cody delivers a moonsault off of the top rope and goes for the pin but hey Orton kicks out. He takes Orton down with a high knee and tags in Goldust. Orton goes for the RKO but Goldust takes him down with a huge right hand. He knocks Orton out of the ring. Orton gets counted out. Winner by Countout: Goldust and Cody Rhodes
Big Show comes out and starts beating the hell out of Orton. The commentators need to stop treating us as if we are fucking stupid. We all knew he was there from the way they were talking. Big Show preps the announcer’s table and chokeslams Orton thru it. Holy hell that was brutal. Big Show is shown leaving the arena.
Los Matadores/Santino Marella vs. 3MB—can someone explain to me why in the blue blazes Santino is wearing horns? Diego and Slater start off the match and he takes down the leader of the Jobber Squad. Here comes Jinder Mahal to do a quick pin but his opponent kicks out. Mahal tags in Slater who then tags in McIntyre. McIntyre delivers a cheap shot to the other Los Matadores (yes I forgot his name). Here comes Santino to fight Mahal. Mahal delivers knees to his midsection and slams Marella down. El Torito taunts Slater who then chases him around the ring. Santino knocks Slater out of the ring and El Torito gets attacked by McIntyre. Los Matadores avenges their mascot while Santino pulls out his horned cobra. Winner and still fucking lame: Santino and Los Matadores
Orton is shown backstage in the trainer’s office. He is having his shoulder looked at when Brad Maddox comes strolling in. He apologizes but Orton tells him to shut up. Here comes Vickie and Orton yells at her and screams for them both to get out. Kane comes in and Orton verbally admonishes him. Kane threatens Orton which was fucking awesome.
Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston—Sandow aggressively attacks Kingston. He ends up knocking him out of the ring. He follows Kofi to the outside and puts him on the ring and drapes the apron over his face. He then gets Kofi in the middle of the ring and puts him in a side headlock. Kofi powers to his feet and breaks the hold He mounts a comeback before getting flung into the corner. Sandow starts ramming his shoulder into the midsection of Kofi. He delivers a double knee stomp to Kofi before going for the pin but Kofi kicks out. Kofi was throwing punches until Sandow slammed him backwards. He nails Kofi with the Elbow of Distain before going for the pin, once again there is a kick out. Kofi is near the ropes and when Sandow lunges at him, Kofi kicks him. Kofi kicks him again in the head and goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Kofi does another high flying move and goes for the pin but Sandow recovers. Sandow sends him flying into the corner where Kofi kicks him. Sandow nails him with the You’re Welcome maneuver. Winner: Damien Sandow
Curtis Axel vs. Dolph Ziggler (IC title on the line)—Hey Ziggler, Billy Gunn called and wants his trunks back. The match starts off with a lockup and the two jockeying for position. Ziggler puts Axel in the corner and the ref has to break the two up. Axle puts Ziggler in a side headlock. Ziggler reverses the move and gets an elbow to his face for his efforts. Axel flings him into the corner and takes him down with a dropkick. He goes for the pin but Ziggler kicks out. Axel takes him down and Ziggler comes back with a dropkick. He goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. He hip tosses Axel and goes for another pin attempt but Axel kicks out. He then does his series of elbow drops, he goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. Axel sends Ziggler flying over the top rope and crashing to the floor. Axel follows him out and attacks him outside the ring. He throws Ziggler into the ring and goes for a pin but Ziggler kicks out. He uses the ropes to choke Ziggler and the ref forces him to stop. Ziggler plants the dullard with a DDT. Axel charges at Ziggler but he moves out of the way and Axel crashes into the ring post. Ziggler takes him down with a clothesline and then splashes him while he is standing in the corner. He does another elbow drop before going into a pin but Axel kicks out. Axel launches Ziggler into the turnbuckle before going into the pin but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler nails him with the FameAsser but Axel kicks out of his pin. Axel goes for the pin but Ziggler kicks out. Axel goes to the top rope and Ziggler follows him. Ziggler faceplants him in the ring and goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. Ziggler hops on his back and Axel throws him off. Axel nails him with a neckbreaker. He goes for the pin. Winner: Curtis Axel
Brad Maddox and Kane are having a heated verbal exchange. Maddox makes a match between the Real Americans and John Cena. Kane makes a handicap tag match between the Shield, Daniel Bryan and CM Punk.
Zack Ryder kindly go back to the cave that you were hiding in and stay there. Nobody wants to see your ass or your pathetic facial hair. So zip it Sparky and stay gone or hidden.
Tamina vs. Nikki Bella—Tamina is accompanied to the ring by AJ Lee and Nikki is accompanied by Brie. They go for a lockup and Tamina flings her down. Nikki goes for a rollup but Tamina kicks out. Nikki takes her down with a dropkick. She goes to the outside to regain her rhythm. Tamina gets back in the ring and tosses Nikki down. She goes for the pin but Nikki kicks out. Tamina goes for a stretch hold that Nikki escapes from. Nikki kicks Tamina but Tamina pump handle slams her down. She goes for the pin but Nikki kicks out. She puts Nikki in a chokehold before putting her in a submission hold. Nikki escapes and throws an elbow. That Hurricanrana was horrible. Nikki goes for the pin but Tamina kicks out. Tamina uses the ropes to her advantage. AJ cheap shots Nikki and attacks Brie. Tamina goes to the top and splashes Nikki. Winner: Tamina
Brie gets in the ring and attacks AJ. She goes to attack Tamina and knocks her out of the ring.
Randy Orton is still in the trainer’s office. For the love of wrestling give the cranky man a cookie. Here comes the Shield and Orton starts questioning where they were at when he got attacked. Dean tells him that it is none of his business where they were. They remind him that they don’t work for him. HOLY SHIT THEY OWNED HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
Fandango vs. Tyson Kidd—Tyson is escorted to the ring by Natalya while Fandungus is escorted by the screech owl known as Summer Rae. The match gets underway when Tyson put Fandango in a waistlock. They do some chain wrestling for a bit as Tyson shows that he doesn’t suffer from ring rust. Fandango tosses him over the top turnbuckle. He flirts or sexually harasses Natalya (depends on how you look at it). He rolls Kidd into the ring and goes for the pin but Kidd kicks out. Fandango has him in a side headlock and Tyson tries to power out of the move but Fandango blocks him. Tyson sends Fandango careening into the turnbuckles and he goes outside the ring. Tyson follows him and sends him flying into the barricade. Tyson goes for a rollup but Fandango counters. Winner: Fandango
John Cena vs. The Real Americans—Zeb has a microphone and starts off by insulting the people of England. Howdy Doody is taunting Swagger. They go for a lockup and Swagger starts to work on the left arm of Cena. They go for another lockup and Cena throws Swagger down. Here comes Cesaro and ADR’s music hits and out comes Del Rio to distract Cena. Cesaro throws Cena out of the ring and Swagger cheap shots Cena. Back from commercial and ADR has joined the commentators. Cesaro is dominating John Cena. He slams him down and goes for the pin but of course Cena kicks out at two. He tags in Swagger who is working the neck of his opponent. Cena slams him down and Swagger tags in Cesaro. Cena delivers a weak neckbreaker to Cesaro and goes for the pin but Cesaro kicks out. He tags in Swagger who delivers a Swagger bomb to Cena twice. He goes for a third one but Cena moves out of the way. Swagger tags in Cesaro who uppercuts Cena after a distraction from Swagger. Cesaro goes for his Giant Swing but Cena counters with an attempt at the STF. Cesaro counters and tags in Swagger. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock but Cena counters. Cesaro comes in and is about to get dropped by Cena but Swagger comes in to save the day. Cesaro goes for the pin but as normal Cena kicks out. Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer but Cena counters. Cesaro tags in Swagger who gets dropped like a bad habit by Cena. Cena is going thru his five moves of lameness. Swagger gets him locked in the Patriot Lock and Cena counters. He slams Swagger down and goes for the pin but Cesaro makes the save. Swagger tags in Cesaro who powerbombs Cesaro. He goes for the pin but Cesaro kicks out. They trade blows and Cena isn’t even trying to sell Cesaro’s moves until Cesaro uppercuts him like the punk ass bitch he is. Cesaro goes for the pin but Super Cena kicks out. Cesaro connects with another uppercut. He puts Cena on the top turnbuckle and he follows him. Cena knocks him down and here comes Swagger to get knocked down by Cena. Cena has the STF locked in on Swagger. Cesaro is attacking Cena and here comes the Boy Wonder to defend himself until ADR hits him with a chair. Del Rio wraps the chair around Cena’s injured arm and goes for the Cross Arm Breaker. Here comes Big E to save Super Cena. What the fuck? Why? Winner by submission: John Cena
Del Rio is gloating to Kane, Brad Maddox, and Vickie Guerrero about his attack on John Cena. Maddox praises him and says what he did was best for business. Del Rio vows to beat Cena at Survivor Series. He tells them to tell Big E to mind his own business. They tell him to let Big E know how Cena feels.
Ryback vs. R-Truth—Truth puts Ryshrek in a waistlock and gets backed into the corner. Ryback works on the left arm of Truth and slams him backwards. He begs Truth to hit him but he puts him in the side headlock instead. Ryshrek slams him down again and Truth starts punching away at him. Truth kicks him down but Rytroll picks hm and is slamming him into the turnbuckles. He viciously slings Truth into the corner. He picks him up and plants him down. He starts stomping away at Truth before chopping away at him in the corner. He splashes down on Truth and goes for the pin but Truth kicks out. Ryback puts Truth in a bear hug and Truth starts head-butting Ryback. He was fighting back until Ryshrek slams him down. Ryback crashes into the turnbuckle and Truth rolls him up. Winner: R-Truth
Big E Langston vs. ADR—the match starts off with ADR aggressively attacking Big E. Big E mounts an offense and is owning Del Rio’s bland ass. He flings him into the corner and Del Rio kicks him in the face. Del Rio starts stomping away at Langston. He goes for the pin but Langston kicks out. Del Rio has him in the side headlock but Langston fights out. Del Rio takes him down and goes for the pin but Langston kicks out. Here comes the side headlock again from Del Rio. Big E powers to his feet and Del Rio hops on his back and puts on the Sleeper Hold. Big E does a sidewalk slam and clotheslines Del Rio. He does a belly to belly suplex and splashes down on Del Rio. He goes to splash Del Rio who is in the corner but Del Rio moves out of the way. Del Rio uses an enziguri kick to take down Langston. He goes for the Cross Arm Breaker but Langston counters. He goes for the Big Ending but Del Rio counters and locks in the Cross Arm Breaker. Winner by Submission: Alberto Del Rio
Paul Heyman is in the ring with Curtis Axel. Heyman is in a wheelchair with a neck brace on and a lone crutch. He goes on a rant about CM Punk. Heyman also verbally assaults Ryback. So I guess their little bromance is over. Holy shit he whines more than I do and I just had surgery. Here comes CM Punk to save us. Axel tries to attack Punk but Punk kicks him in the head before sending him crashing into the barricade. He delivers the GTS to Axel while Walrus Fucker cries like a little bitch. Punk grabs a Kendo stick and gets in the ring. He twirls Heyman around before dumping him out of the wheelchair. He is beating him with the Kendo stick.
CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield—Punk and Ambrose start off the match and the stare down between the two is fucking awesome. They go for a lockup and Ambrose puts him in a side headlock. Punk sends him flying into the ropes but Ambrose takes him down. Punk tags in DB and they double team Ambrose. DB goes for the pin but Ambrose kicks out. Ambrose gains the upper hand and tags in Rollins. DB delivers a knee to the midsection of Rollins. He goes for the surfboard and DB tags in Punk. Punk goes for the pin but Rollins kicks out. Punk kicks him and goes for another pin but Rollins kicks out. Rollins gains the some momentum until Punk slingshots him into the corner. He tags in Roman Reigns and all I can say is DAMN HE FINE! They lockup and Reigns puts Punk in the corner. He is delivering brutal punches and a head-butt to Punk. He sends Punk flying into the ropes and Punk tags in DB and they double team Roman. Roman double clotheslines both of them down. He sends Punk flying to the floor outside the ring. He tags in Rollins who works on sending DB flying into the corner. DB puts Rollins on the top turnbuckle and sends him flying to the center of the ring. He goes for the pin but Rollins kicks out. DB kicks Ambrose off of the apron and Rollins knocks him down. Back from commercial and Rollins is dominating DB. The bearded Goat tries to mount a comeback but Rollins sends him flying head first into the turnbuckle. He goes for the pin but Bryan kicks out. Here comes Ambrose fresh off of the tag and he is torturing Daniel Bryan. He tags in Roman Reigns. Reigns starts punching him in the back of the head and is taunting away at DB. DB starts fighting back and Roman takes him down. He goes for the pin but DB kicks out. Here comes Rollins off of the tag and he slams DB down. He goes for the pin but DB kicks out. He locks in a reverse chinlock. DB powers to his feet and Rollins tags in Reigns. DB sends both men flying over the top rope. Reigns tags in Ambrose and DB tags in Punk. Punk delivers a neckbreaker and follows up with a running knee and a clothesline. He goes to the top rope and does his elbow drop. He goes for the pin but Rollins makes the save. DB does a suicide dive to Rollins and Reigns takes down Bryan. Punk kicks Ambrose in the head and calls for the GTS. Reigns gets the GTS and Ambrose rolls up Punk but he kicks out. Ambrose gets locked in the Anaconda Vice. The lights go out and come back on and Harper and Rowan are in the ring with the Shield. Harper and Rollins exchange words before Ambrose gets involved. HOLY SHIT THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING ON. THE SHIELD VS. THE WYATT FAMILY. MY OVARIES ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE BITCHES!!! They realize that they have enemies in common and they all surround the ring as Punk and Daniel Bryan get in the ring. All hell has broken loose, all hell here comes the Usos and Goldust with Cody Rhodes to even out the numbers.
Match of the Night—this honor goes to Shield, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan. I am so looking forward to seeing the Shield face the Wyatt family.
WTF moments– this dishonor goes to the Orton for being a big whiney ass baby. You are the Legend Killer, the Apex Predator man the fuck up and knock out the Big Show.
In closing, I loved the show. I give it an A+ for all of the matches but there wasn’t any buildup to the upcoming Survivor Series PPV. I am kind of looking forward to watching SmackDown except for the Arm Wrestling contest between Cena and Del Rio. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!!