With Riley Ross
Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on SmackDown. Tonight we are live from Columbus, OH. Hopefully tonight’s showing will have buildup to the Hell in a Cell PPV that is taking place in a few weeks. Also will there be some sort of retribution from Triple H to Big Show? On commentary we have the not so annoying Michael Cole and the insufferable JBL.
Vickie Guerrero comes out to open the show. A clip of Del Rio trying to charm her is shown from RAW. Did the format for SmackDown change and instead of wrestling, we just get recaps? She starts talking about the actions of the Big Show. She screeches at the crowd for a second before continuing on with her spiel about the Big Show. She mentions that the Big Show’s house is for sale and he is no longer employed by the WWE. Here comes ADR to interrupt her. He begs her to reconsider his match with John Cena. She counters that it is best for business. She asks if he was being honest with her when he called her sexy. He says every single word out of his mouth is true. She tells him to kiss her if he wants her to reconsider the match. He gives her a reluctant kiss on the cheek but she tells him to kiss her on the lips. There goes my appetite as he softly pecks her on the lips. He passionately kisses her on the lips and here comes my lunch. She then tells him to kiss her ass. She refuses to reconsider and here comes Damien Sandow.
Sandow gets in the ring and announces to the WWE Universe that Del Rio is a phony. He warns her that Del Rio is a manipulative man. He claims to be attracted to her superior scheming ways. He goes on to say that Del Rio is afraid of losing to Cena. Sandow says that he will show Del Rio that he is the better man. Vickie makes a match between the two men for later on. Del Rio cheap shots Sandow. Damien grabs his briefcase to nail Del Rio but ADR rolls out of the ring like a bitch.
Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth—Axel is accompanied to the ring by Paul Heyman. The match starts off with a lockup and Axel and Truth going to the corner. Axel starts ramming his shoulder in the midsection of Truth. Truth starts fighting back and sends Axel flying into the corner before going into a pin. Axel kicks out and runs out of the ring so he can get comforted by Paulrus. Truth comes outside to attack him and slams his face into the apron. He rolls him in the ring and Axel starts begging. Truth busts him open and goes for another pin but Axel kicks out. Truth gets knocked off of the apron by Axel. Back from commercial and both men are in the ring and Axel is dominating Truth. He goes for the pin but Truth kicks out. Axel punches him a couple of times before going for another pin attempt. He puts Truth in a side headlock and Truth is trying to power to his feet. Once he gets to his feet, he starts fighting back with punches and kicks. He sends Axel flying into the corner, Truth goes for the attack but Axel kicks him. They trade kicks while holding onto the ropes. Truth delivers a brutal uppercut and does a series of takedowns on Axel. He goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. Truth dropkicks him and goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. Axel goes for a dropkick but misses wildly. Truth plants him and goes for the pin but Axel again kicks out. Truth does his scissor kick move and goes for the pin but Axel grabs the ropes to break up the pin. Axel uses the ropes to his advantage, he gets in the ring and plants Truth viciously in the mat. Winner and still IC champion: Curtis Axel
Los Locales vs. The Matadores—Fernando takes on the purple masked Los Locales. He goes for a waistlock and some chain wrestling. Here comes Diego and they double team their opponent for a few moments. He chops LL1 and delivers a sweet Hurricanrana. Here comes LL2 and he gets double teamed. LL1 does a blind tag and saves his partner from being pinned. LL2 comes in and they double team the Matadores. Here comes the other Matadores and they double team LL2. Winners and still lame as fuck: Los Matadores
Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/Kaitlyn—No JoJo? Did her parents not sign her permission slip this week? Couldn’t Ronalda Crayola get better ring gear? Her ring gear or cheap onesie looks like it is trying to escape her non-talented ass. Nattie and Brie start off the match. They do some chain wrestling and Brie ends up taking her down with an arm hold. Brie then puts her in the Half-Crab but Nattie breaks the hold. She goes for the Sharpshooter but Brie counters. She tags in Eva Marie (she stinks so bad in the ring she makes Kelly Kelly look good). She does a sloppy cartwheel before rolling up Brie. Brie kicks out and here comes Kaitlyn. Brie tags in Cameron who gets slammed down by Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn goes for the pin but Cameron kicks out. Cameron goes for a pin but Kaitlyn kicks out. Here comes Naomi who gets speared by Kaitlyn. All the women come in and fight it out. Kaitlyn rolls up Naomi who reverses it. Winners: Brie, Cameron, and Naomi
Renee Young interviews Goldust and Cody Rhodes. Tonight they are facing the Wyatt family. They talk about beating the Shield and here comes the eye-rolling from me. Who the fuck cares? You might have beaten them once but you will get your untalented asses handed to you on a tin platter.
Damien Sandow vs. Alberto Del Rio—the match starts off with Sandow attacking Del Rio. He slams his face in the turnbuckles. Del Rio runs to the outside and Sandow follows. Del Rio gets in the ring and attacks Sandow when he rolls in the ring. Sandow does a snapmare takedown and goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Del Rio puts him in a side headlock and Sandow quickly fights out. He slams Del Rio to the mat and starts pounding away at Del Rio. Del Rio runs to the outside and grabs his title to run away like a cowardly little bitch. Sandow follows him and stops him and slams him into the apron. He rolls him into the ring and goes for a pin but Del Rio kicks out. Sandow gets backed into the corner by Del Rio who then kicks Sandow. He goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Del Rio goes to the top rope and does an axe handle smash He goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. He then puts him in a side headlock and Sandow is working hard to break the hold. He starts throwing elbows and finally gets free. He sends Del Rio crashing to the floor. Sandow goes out of the ring and throws Del Rio back into the ring. He starts stomping away before going for the pin. Del Rio kicks out and then gets suplexed for his efforts. Del Rio makes a comeback with a kick to the face. He starts punching away at Sandow but Sandow mounts a comeback with a series of punches and head-butts. Sandow goes crashing shoulder first into the steel ring post. Del Rio sends him flying into the ropes and Sandow kicks him. Sandow then sends him crashing to the floor again. Back from commercial and both men are in the ring. Del Rio gets to his feet first and uses the ropes to choke Sandow. He once again gets sent to the floor outside the ring by Sandow. Sandow goes outside after him and Del Rio kicks him. Both men are back in the ring and are trading blows. Sandow takes him down with an elbow and a clothesline. He slams Del Rio down and hits him with the Elbow of Distain. He goes for the pin but Del Rio kicks out. He does a stomp on Del Rio and seemingly tweaks his knee. Del Rio kicks him in the face and goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Del Rio drops him using his left arm. Del Rio goes for the Cross Arm Breaker but Sandow counters with a move of his own and goes for a pin but Del Rio kicks out. Del Rio hits him with the Backstabber and goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Sandow nails him with a swinging neckbreaker and goes for the pin but shockingly Del Rio kicks out. Del Rio tries to leave again but Sandow stops him. Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker. Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Prime Time Players/Khali vs. 3MB—Khali and Slater start it off and Slater gets tossed into his corner by Khali. He tags in Jinder Mahal and he slaps Khali which enrages Khali so much he beats the jobber with slaps and chops. He tags in Darren Young. Young suplexes him and goes for a pin but Mahal kicks out. Mahal tags in the Forgotten Chosen One Drew McIntyre. Drew gets taken down by Young but he mounts an offense when he kicks Young. He and Wendy Spice double team Young. Slater goes for the pin but Young kicks out. Here comes Drew again. He taunts Young before stomping on his hand. He prevents Young from making a tag but Darren kicks him in the head. Here comes Titus O’Neil to take on Mahal. He goes for the pin but McIntyre breaks it up. Darren Young takes down McIntyre. Slater is left to battle Khali. Surprise Khali pins him. Winners: Prime Time Players and Khali
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Harper and Rowan—Bray Wyatt is sitting ringside. Goldust and Harper are going to kick off the match. Harper puts him against the ropes and Goldust takes him down. Harper tags in Rowan who I think is scaring Goldust. Goldust slaps the mask off of him. He puts Rowan in their corner and tags in Cody. Cody kicks Rowan but Rowan comes back with a vicious takedown. Cody rolls out of the ring. Back from commercial and Harper is facing Cody until he tags in Goldust. Goldust knocks Rowan off of the apron. He has Harper in the corner and is slugging away at him. Harper sends him flying when he tries to do the running bulldog. Harper goes for the pin but Goldust kicks out. He tags in Rowan. Rowan goes for the pin but Goldust kicks out. Here comes Harper with a side headlock. Goldust sends him flying down and Goldust is trying to make it to his corner to tag in Cody. Harper knocks Cody off of the apron and tags in Rowan. Rowan slams him down. Here comes Cody to square off with Harper. Cody nails him with the Disaster kick, he goes for the pin but Rowan breaks it up. Cody sends both flying over the top rope. Cody goes to the top and takes down Rowan. The only man standing is Harper. He rolls Cody into the ring. Goldust comes in and collides with Harper. Cody rolls him up from behind. Winner: Cody and Goldust
Match of the Night—goes to Del Rio and Sandow. It was long as hell but it was perfectly executed.
The WTF moment—this dishonor goes to the WWE Creative. A show without the Shield or Orton. What the fuck are you trying to do kill me? You need them on the show enough said. Also please figure out what the fuck you are doing with the tag team division. Pick a fucking team and push them do not throw the Usos aside for the Los Matadores. In six months no one will know who the fuck they are.
In closing the show was a disaster. I give it a grade of a D-. The show seemed rushed and relied heavily on the recaps. The standout stars of the night goes to Sandow who is showing improvement in the ring. Also big props to Ricardo Rodriguez for being one half of the Los Locales. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!