Riley’s Corner’s: WWE Raw Review for 09/30/13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on RAW. This is the week before the Battleground PPV and hopefully there will be buildup to the newest PPV. On tonight’s show which is in Biloxi, Mississippi, we will have the Rhodes family there to talk to Triple H, the Los Matadores will debut, and gee I cannot wait to see how quickly they bottom out. Hopefully in tonight’s episode Randy Orton will make the Miz his little bitch again. *Warning* this review will have foul language, heavy usage of big words, and lots of sarcasm with a touch of dry humor. Also before my smartass and sarcastic comments begin, I would like to say kudos to the WWE for working with the Susan G. Komen Foundation and helping bringing awareness to breast cancer.

CM Punk comes out to kick off the show. A recap from last week is shown where he charges after Paul Heyman but Ryback and Axel are lying in wait. He says this will end when he makes Curtis Axel go to sleep and when he shows Ryback what happens to bullies. The story will end when he gets his hands on Paul Heyman. He admits that he doesn’t know when the story will end, hell for all he knows it could end tonight on RAW. He says he is in a fighting mood and he doesn’t care if it’s Axel, Ryback, or Heyman himself. He vows to put Heyman out of his misery. Here comes Bradalina Maddox to interrupt. He makes his way to the ring and he claims to understand where Punk is coming from. He says fighting them isn’t best for business. He says to save it for the Battleground PPV. He says he has the power to make a match for Punk tonight. Maddox looks really uncomfortable and out of place in the ring with Punk. Here comes Big E Langston to interrupt. He grabs the mic and says he is Punk’s man if he wants aggression. He attacks Punk quickly. He charges at Punk who is in the corner and Punk moves, this results in Langston’s shoulder meeting the steel ring post.

CM Punk vs. Big E Langston—back from commercial and the match is already underway with both men outside the ring. Punk dodges another charging attack from Big E. He starts delivering punishing kicks to Langston before both men get in the ring. Punk goes to the top rope and does a crossbody. He goes for the pin but Langston kicks out. Punk kicks him and tries to pick him up for the GTS, however he fails to do so. Langston slams him down and goes for the pin but Punk kicks out. He does a flying splash while Punk is lying on his stomach which does not seem so smart but hey that’s why I am the reviewer and not the wrestler. He goes for the pin but Punk kicks out. He has Punk in a Half-Crab submission move but Punk powers out and starts fighting back. Langston takes him down with a punishing clothesline and tries to pin Punk but he kicks out again. Langston pulls him up and goes for his Big Ending put Punk counters. Punk gets belly to belly suplexed by Langston, Big E goes for his pin but Punk kicks out. Punk strikes back with his hands and feet. Punk gets caught by Big E and he fights his way out of the hold. He kicks Langston in the side of his enormous head and goes for the pin but Langston kicks out. Punk goes for the GTS but Big E knocks him down. He goes for the pin but Punk kicks out. Big E runs the ropes before doing a splash, Punk wisely moved out of the way. Punk sends him flying into the corner before kicking him. He delivers a swinging neckbreaker before following up with a running high knee. He goes for a clothesline before going to the top rope, he does his elbow drop. He calls for the GTS.  He scoops Big E up and delivers the GTS. Holy catnip, he did it. Winner: CM Punk

Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston—Kofi, I love and respect you but pink and yellow do not go together.  Although it is for an excellent cause, I will not rag you too hard about it. The match starts off with Fandango taking it to Kofi. He takes him down before Kofi comes back with an elbow to the jaw. He does a Hurricanrana to Fandango but Fandango comes back with a clothesline. He goes for a pin but Kofi kicks out. Fandango puts him in a rear face lock while Summer Rae tries to look like she is doing something. Kofi powers to his feet and fights out of the hold. He nails him with the S.O.S. Kofi keeps taking him down before Fandango bounces him off of the turnbuckle. Fandango goes to the top rope but Kofi moves out of the way before he can connect with the leg drop. Kofi nails him with the Trouble in Paradise kick. Winner: Kofi Kingston

The Wyatt Family appears out of nowhere. Kofi is still in the ring as they march down to the ring. Bray Wyatt cuts another creepy but effective promo. He claims to understand that one by one, they must all fall down. He follows-up with his ‘follow the buzzards’ line and they do not do any harm to Kofi.

Brie and Nikki Bella are talking about Brie’s engagement to Daniel Bryan (gag me). Randy Orton comes up and asks her when the big day is. She ignores him and he scoffs that they should have the wedding really soon because after Battleground, Daniel Bryan might not be able to walk. Could someone please teach those twits how to act and to dress? They look like rejects from a strip club.

Renee Young interviews Paul Heyman. She asks him about his reaction to CM Punk’s promo earlier. He says that Punk will never intimidate or bully him ever again. He claims that Punk forgets what made them the best in the world. She says that Axel and Ryback are lying in wait and Heyman laughs it off. Holy shit this interview isn’t over yet. He challenges Punk by saying he will be ringside so Punk needs to find the manhood to do something about it.

Los Matadores vs. Jinder Mahal/Heath Slater—oh finally, the debut of the Los Matadores. I’ve been waiting to unleash this laughter that has been building since their promos have started. They have someone dressed up as a bull and guess what he botches less than Sin Cara and has more personality than Alberto Del Rio. Yay, sorry but not really, I don’t think I’m going to learn their names. I will give it a month before I attempt to do so. The match starts off with Jinder Mahal facing off with Diego. He is getting owned by the TMNT wannabe. He does the Codebreaker on Jinder. Here comes Heath and he gets taken down immediately. They double team him for a bit before slamming him down. Winner and still a fucking lame ass tag team: Los Matadores

Here comes Stephanie McMahon and Triple H. They are truly my favorite power couple in the WWE. Their confrontation or meeting with the Rhodes family is upon us. Dusty Rhodes’ music hits and surprisingly Stephanie is dancing along to it as the Rhodes men come out to the ring. Stephanie starts the meeting off by congratulating Cody on his marriage. She also asks if he received their wedding gift. She is met with a stony silence and Trips asks why are they so angry. He brings up the fact that they failed in their many chances that they have been given. Trips will give them one more chance, Goldust and Cody get to face Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins at the Battleground PPV, and if they win they get their jobs back but if they don’t all three will be fired. Dusty agrees and says that he will be in their corner. After Stephanie and Triple H leave, the Shield comes out to exact their revenge. It’s only fair since they were unjustly attacked by Goldust and Cody Rhodes. The Shield kicked their asses without breaking in a sweat. They stand tall and united over the prone bodies in the ring.

R-Truth vs. Curtis Axel—Axel is accompanied to the ring by Paul Heyman. The match starts off with a lockup and Axel taking Truth down. He taunts his opponent as Heyman looks on smugly. Axel pushes him and Truth responds by slapping him down. They go for another lockup and Axel grabs the ropes. Truth starts kicking him and Axel cowers out by grabbing the ropes. Truth has him locked in the corner and is punching away at him until he gets sent flying to the mat. Axel kicks him and starts punching away at him. They trade blows before Axel drops him with a dropkick. He goes for the pin but Truth kicks out. He has him in a headlock but Truth powers out. Axel sends him flying into the corner. Truth fights back with a series of clotheslines before a sick but beautiful suplex. He sends Axel flying into the ropes, he prematurely does his dropkick as Axel holds onto the ropes. CM Punk’s music hits and Heyman looks afraid. While Axel is distracted, Truth DDT’s him and scores the win. Winner: R-Truth

Look I am happy for Brie and Daniel Bryan but do they really need a video package celebrating their engagement? If that’s the case where was the video package for Naomi and her fiancé, or Cody Rhodes and his now wife? Either show them all or none at all. I’m hoping for the not at all as I could care less that those two trolls are engaged.  

Brie Bella vs. Alicia Fox—Brie is accompanied to the ring by Nikki. The match starts off with a lockup before Alicia starts working the left wrist of Brie. Brie reverses it and Alicia ends up putting her on the ropes. Brie goes outside and Alicia follows her. Alicia throws her in the ring and we see Tamina and AJ Lee watching the match. Alicia goes for a bridge pin but Brie kicks out. Alicia takes her down and goes for another pin but Brie kicks out. Alicia takes her down with leg scissors and goes for another pin but Brie kicks out again. Alicia puts her in a side headlock and Brie struggles to her feet before throwing elbows. She starts taking Alicia down and nails her with a dropkick. She sends Alicia out of the ring and is trying to pull her in by her hair but Alicia kicks her in her skanky head. Alicia clubs her in the back of head and Brie slaps her. She plants her face first in the mat. Winner: Brie Bella

Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman are shown in the locker room. Heyman is trying to reassure Axel that everything is okay. Here comes Ryback to assure them that CM Punk will never touch Heyman again. Heyman tells Ryback to go get something to eat and he will talk to him later. Heyman tells Axel that since Ryback saved him, he has a new outlook on life. He says that he is going to go out to the ring and propose to Ryback.

Renee Young interviews Big Show and his situation. Recaps are shown as usual. I never noticed this before but during the skit between Trips and Big Show, it looked like he was pointing at his junk and saying ‘you need this, don’t ya’. Now I need to scrub my brain. Big Show starts blubbering about his financial situations before seemingly having a breakthrough moment. His facial expressions reminded me of Sloth from the movie Goonies. He says that he is going to knock out Triple H, what are you going to do Big Show, show him the movie Knucklehead?

Brad Maddox is talking to R-Truth about getting an IC title shot. Maddox says he will take it under advisement when the Big Show slams in there. He bellows that he is looking for Triple H, he slams Maddox against the wall before telling him to go find him.

Zack Ryder vs. ADR—the match starts off with Del Rio and Ryder locking up. He goes for a side headlock and takes Ryder down rather viciously. Ryder surprisingly makes a comeback before Del Rio slings him into the corner. Ryder sends Del Rio flying to the floor outside the ring, he does a suicide dive but the floor instead of Del Rio catches him. Del Rio sends him flying into the barricade before rolling him into the ring. Ryder breaks Del Rio’s hold and rolls him up but Del Rio kicks out. Del Rio goes for a chinlock but Ryder powers out. Ryder slams him face first into the mat and goes to the top rope, he does a missile dropkick before charging at his opponent. He calls for the Broski Boot and it connects. He goes for the pin but Del Rio kicks out. He goes for the Ruff Ryder but Del Rio counters with a German Suplex. He goes for a bridge pin but Ryder kicks out. Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker. Winner: ADR

They do have a nice spot where they recognize Breast Cancer Survivors, and members of the Susan G. Komen foundation to standup and be recognized.

Here comes Paul Heyman and Ryback. Heyman goes on a long spiel about how times have changed and its okay to be who you are. They share some tender looks and caresses before Paul Heyman drops to one knee. He grabs Ryback’s hand and glances up at him before asking if he will be a Paul Heyman guy. Still a better love story than Chuck and Billy. Ryback smiles before he can answer CM Punk’s music hits. He comes out thru the crowd and seemingly hurts himself jumping over the barricade. Punk pulls himself up and is holding his right knee. Heyman is holding Ryback at bay as they watch to see what Punk is going to do next. Punk stands up and limps over to the ring, he stands on the apron before dropping down to the floor again. He is having a whispered conversation with the medic before grabbing something from underneath the ring. He grabs a kendo stick and starts swinging away at all three men. Yes, Axel came bounding out like a stupid idiot. He is the one who is taking the most punishment with the kendo stick. Punk gives him the GTS as Ryback and Heyman look on in anger.

Big Show is pacing in Triple H’s office again.

The Shield vs. Ziggler/the Usos—Dean and Zigglypuff start it off. They go for a lockup and Dean puts him in the corner before striking away at him. He sends him flying into the ropes and Ziggler takes him down with a dropkick. He goes for a pin but Dean kicks out. Here comes Seth Rollins and Dolph sends him flying down before tagging in a Uso. He goes for the pin but Rollins kicks out. He tags in Jey Uso and they double team Seth before Jey goes for the pin but Seth kicks out. Seth starts fighting back and tags in Dean. Mr. Psychotic starts beating the talent into the Uso before tagging in Seth. Seth has Uso on the ropes and uses it to his advantage. He tags in Dean again, Uso makes a blind tag to his brother and dropkicks Seth and Dean while they are holding his brother. All hell has broken out as all six men are brawling. Back from commercial and Seth has Jimmy Uso in a headlock. Uso fights out and gets suplexed for his efforts. Seth tags in Dean, who starts stomping away at Uso before placing him in a headlock. Here comes Roman to take the Uso on. He goes for a pin but Uso kicks out. He has them in a side headlock and Uso slowly gets to his feet. He starts fighting away before Roman slams him down, he goes for the pin but Uso kicks out. Uso hits him with an uppercut and sends Roman flying to the floor. Roman gets back in and gets kicked down by the Uso. Roman tags in Seth who takes down the two assclowns on the opposing corner. Here comes Ziggler and Ambrose. Ziggler does a swinging neckbreaker before doing his series of elbow drops to Dean. Seth tries to interfere but gets taken down. Dean rolls him up but Ziggler kicks out. Reigns comes in and gets kicked by an Uso. Ambrose gets tossed out of the ring after he tags in Rollins. Reigns gets tagged in and viciously spears Ziggler. Winner and still the best fucking trio in the WWE: The Shield

Big Show is shown once again pacing in Triple H’s office. Back from commercial and he is tossing stuff around in Triple H’s office when the cops show up. Stephanie comes in and tells the cops that everything is okay. She mentions all of his past transgressions again especially driving home that he has a big mortgage payment due. She tells the weeping giant that she talked to his wife and that his wife said he doesn’t measure up at home. He goes all emo on us after they leave the room and punches the promotional poster for Triple H’s newest DVD.

Renee Young interviews Rob Van Dam and he shows her a clip highlighting his hardcore wrestling days. So nice to hear JR’s voice, even if it was for a brief second. He goes on to say that Del Rio is vicious and psychotic but has no clue about hardcore rules.

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro—Colter and Swagger have accompanied Cesaro to the ring. While Marella has Khali and Hornswoggle in his corner. Of course, Colter has to be derogatory in his little racist spiel. The match starts off with a lockup and an awkward headlock from Santino. Cesaro sends him flying into the ropes and Santino tries to take him down with a shoulder block. Oh what an epic fail. Cesaro sends him into the corner and follows up with an uppercut. He slams Santino down before going for a double foot stomp. He goes for the pin but Santino kicks out. He picks Santino up and goes for the Giant Swing but Santino counters out. He pulls out the Cobra and Cesaro takes him down. He does the Giant Swing and please Cesaro send him flying into the commentators. Dammit he drops him like a hot potato. Santino takes him down and pins him. What the fuckity fuck? Winner: Santino Marella?

Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton have a face off in the middle of the ring. This is being moderated by Jerry Lawler. Once again another video is shown of Brie and Daniel Bryan’s engagement. Orton confesses that he was upset with Triple H for holding the title in abeyance. He says that this motivated him to become that psychotic viper without morals. He brings up attacking the Miz, which I would love to see a recap of not the engagement bullshit. He ends up making it personal by insulting Brie and DB goes on the attack. The fight goes to the outside of the ring and Orton sends him flying into the steel steps. Here comes Brie to beg and plead with Orton but the Viper DDTs Daniel from the apron anyway. He then slams his face into the announcer’s booth before pulling him on top of the table. He RKOs him thru the table. YES! YES! YES! He should RKO Brie for being an annoying, shrill little bitch. The show ends with Brie and medics tending to Daniel Bryan.

Match of the Night—this goes to the Shield for kicking ass and taking names. For the half-assed fans that are turning against the Shield, please shut the fuck up.

WTF moments- this dishonor goes to the Los Matadores and Santino Marella. The newest tag team in the WWE sucks donkey balls. They sucked as Primo and Epico and they suck as whatever names you gave them. Cesaro, while I am not a huge fan of his, he does not deserve to lose to Santino Marella.

In closing, I enjoyed the show. It was truly one of the best RAW shows in a long time. I enjoyed (maybe a little too much) seeing the Shield dominate the Rhodes family. What a buildup until the Battleground PPV. I give the show a grade of an A++++++++++++. To me, it was that damn good. For those constantly whining about the show just shut the fuck up and enjoy the program or find a new show to watch. Make sure you all check out  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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