Riley’s Corner: WWE Smackdown Review for 09/27/13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on SmackDown. We are live from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. On tonight’s show, we get to see Dean Ambrose battle Dolph Ziggler for the US title again. On commentary tonight we have the frustrating Michael Cole and the always irritating JBL.

The show opens up with Triple H coming out to the ring. I cannot wait to see what mayhem and havoc he wreaks tonight. He greets the crowd enthusiastically and starts off by addressing the rumors of favoritism, abuse of power, and such bullshit. He says that the superstars should blame themselves for their failures and not management. He explains that they do what is best for business, he talks about the Shield’s match on Monday night. Yes DUMBASS, we get it the Shield lost but they are still more relevant and talented than any other superstar that you have on the roster. Here comes the Miz to interrupt Triple H. Ummm dipshit, this isn’t a good time for you to cry and moan about getting your balls handed to you on Monday night RAW.

The Miz gets in the ring as Triple H insults him but in a nice way. He is getting his orange ass handed to him before he can even open his mouth. There is a recap of Orton attacking him in front of his parents. This is the recap, I could watch over and over again. Triple H is really twisting that knife in the Miz. He brings up the fact that Miz insulted Stephanie on Monday night and shows the clip of Big Show knocking his ass out. Miz finally gathers his wits and balls to speak his peace. Trips backs up Stephanie and her actions. Miz calls her a castrating witch again but tries to puff up to Trips. He makes a match between the Miz and Randy Orton as the main event.

ADR vs. R-Truth—the match starts off with ADR attacking R-Truth in the corner. Truth mounts some offense or at least he did until ADR kicks him. R-Truth moves as Del Rio charges at him. Truth takes him down before going for the pin but Del Rio kicks out. Truth goes for his scissor kick but Del Rio moves and Del Rio kicks him. Winner: Alberto Del Rio

He goes to attack R-Truth but here comes Rob Van Dam and Ricardo Rodriguez to save him. RVD is beating him with a chair.

Vickie G. is shown talking to Triple H. They decide to make the match between RVD and ADR at Battleground a hardcore match. That collective sigh you heard, was the IWC jizzing in their pants at this news.

The PTP are shown backstage when two interns try to do their dance. Lamest skit EVER!

PTP vs. The Real Americans—Colter goes on another little racist tirade. Jack Swagger and Titus start it off with Jack delivering knees to the midsection of Titus. Titus slams him down and starts throwing elbows. Swagger takes him down and tags in Cesaro. They do quick tags and now Jack is in the ring working on Titus. Swagger drives him back in their corner. Here comes Cesaro to deliver the Giant Swing. He finally drops Titus and he goes for the pin. Titus kicks out. He slams Cesaro around but he can barely stand up. He tags in Darren who takes out Swagger before focusing on Cesaro. He does the Northern Lights suplex with a bridge pin but Cesaro kicks out. Cesaro slams him down and goes for the pin but O’Neil breaks it up. Swagger sends him flying to the mat while Darren Young has Cesaro pinned. By the time the ref notices it Cesaro has kicked out. Cesaro tags in Swagger and Weed Boy locks in the Patriot Lock while Young tries to pin Cesaro. He quickly taps out. Winners: The Real Americans

Bray Wyatt vs. Zack Ryder—Harper and Rowan are ringside to show their support of Bray. They throw Zack in the ring. The match starts off with Bray slamming him down with a clothesline. He drops an elbow in his back before slamming it into the back of his head. He goes for a rear chinlock and Zack is hanging in there. He powers to his feet and starts throwing punches before Bray throws him into the ropes. Zack takes him down and calls for the Broski Boot. It connects and it was funny to hear the shock in Michael Cole’s voice when he said that. Zack goes for the pin but Wyatt kicks out. He goes for the Ruff Ryder but Bray moves out of the way. He goes for Sister Abigail’s Kiss and pins Ryder. Winner: Bray Wyatt

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler—this is for the US title. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins have accompanied him to the ring.  I don’t know why Dean looking nervous, he is clearly the better man. Dolph calls for RVD and Kofi Kingston to accompany his blonde ass to the ring. The match starts off with a lockup and Dean backing Blondie Locks into the corner. He is throwing head-butts before scraping Dolph’s huge ass forehead across the top rope. He delivers an uppercut and throws Zigglypuff into the ropes. Ziggler kicks him but Dean throws him down like a boss. He goes for the pin but Ziggly kicks out. Dean sends him flying but Dolph mounts some offense. He has Dean locked in the corner and is punching him. He does the swinging neckbreaker and tries to follow up with the FameAsser but Dean counters. Both men are outside the ring and Seth grabs Ziggler. Winner by DQ: Dolph Ziggler

A brawl breaks out between all six men. Triple H comes out and makes it a six man tag match starting now.

The Shield vs. Ziggler/Kingston/RVD—back from commercial and the match is underway with Seth Rollins and Van Dam. RVD gose for the pin but Rollins kicks out. RVD starts kicking away at Rollins before ramming his shoulder into Rollins’ midsection. He goes for the Rolling Thunder and a pin but Rollins kicks out. Rollins kicks him in his injured arm and sends him careening into the Shield’s corner, here comes Dean Ambrose who works the left arm of RVD. RVD powers to his feet and kicks Ambrose. He tags in Dolph. Dolph does a cross body and starts hammering away at Dean. He starts dropping elbows and here comes Rollins to distract him. Ambrose slams Blondie Locks and goes for the pin but Zigglypuff kicks out. He tags in Roman. Reigns starts stomping away before putting him in a chinlock. Ziggler starts throwing elbows but Reigns bitch slaps him down. He goes for the pin but Ziggler kicks out. Here comes Dean to stomp away at him. He tags in Reigns again. Reigns viciously slams Blondie down and then taunts Kofi. He picks him up and slams him down. Ziggler hits him with a DDT (not impressed). Here comes Rollins to put him in a front face lock. Rollins sends RVD crashing to the floor. Here comes Kofi off of the tag, he attacks Dean with a vengeance. He calls for Trouble in Paradise. He goes for the pin but Dean kicks out. Chaos has broken out as all six men are fighting again. Dean and Kofi are still the legal men. Kofi kicks him but Reigns distracts him. Once he is disposed of, Rollins kicks Kofi. Dean pins him. Winner and still the fucking best in the WWE: The Shield (Suck on that Shield haters)

Renee Young interviews the Big Show. He claims that everything is weighing on him, he cannot sleep at night and he is being bullied. Someone get him some tampons, Midol, and chocolate. Here comes Triple H to tell him if he cannot handle the job, he can walk away. He says he will help Big Show find another job. Way to twist the knife. Triple H makes fun of his crying jags and Big Show tries to puff up but Trips neutralizes him with a few well-chosen words.

Cameron vs. AJ Lee—Naomi accompanies Cameron to the ring. Tamina Snuka is in AJ’s corner. Cameron takes her down with a dropkick. She does a shimmy before doing a split pin on AJ. AJ kicks out and Cameron does a crossbody off of the ropes. Once again AJ kicks out of her pin. AJ sends her flying out of the ring. She throws Cameron into the ring before swinging at Naomi. Tamina takes out Naomi and Cameron tries to roll up AJ. AJ hits her with the Shining Wizard. Winner: AJ

Paul Heyman comes out to cut a promo on CM Punk again. A recap of NOC is played where Heyman pins Punk. He tells the crowd that they are disappointing him with their reactions. He says that everytime Punk comes against him, Punk will lose.  He guarantees that he will finish Punk.

Heath Slater vs. Santino—Wendy Spice is accompanied to the ring by the jobber squad, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal. Santino is accompanied to the ring by Hornswoggle and Khali. Santino and Wendy are holding each other’s legs. Slater takes him down. Here comes Santino fighting back. Slater goes for a pin but Santino kicks out. Slater goes to the top rope but Santino jiggles the ropes. He pulls out his Cobra and here comes a flute playing Jinder Mahal to charm the cobra. Khali counters and we have a moronic instrument off. Khali knocks out Drew. Hornswoggle pulls off Jinder Mahal and breaks his flute. Slater knocks down Santino and here comes Khali with his magic instrument to wake up Santino. Santino wins. Worst fucking match ever. Winner: Santino and he is still a joke

Cody and Goldust announce they will be there at RAW on Monday. Oh yay (sarcasm because some of you still cannot tell if I am sarcastic or not).

Miz vs. Randy Orton—Miz takes down Orton but Orton starts nailing him. They are in the corner fighting it out before breaking it up. Miz sends Orton flying to the floor and the Miz follows him out. He sends Orton flying into the steel post. Miz sends him flying into the barricade before throwing him into the ring. He starts pummeling away at Orton before Orton sends him flying to the mat on his injured shoulder. Orton starts stomping away at him and gets DQ’d. Here comes Triple H to restart the match with no DQs. Orton has to win by pinfall or submission. Orton attacks him viciously outside the ring for a few minutes before throwing Froggy into the ring. He nails him with an RKO and scores the win. Winner and still psychotic: Randy Orton

Match of the Night—goes to Ambrose and Ziggler. It was a decent match with a lot on the line. Both men pulled it off. Also goes to the Shield vs. Kingston/Ziggler/RVD. The main event between Orton and Miz deserves this honor as well.

The WTF moment—this dishonor goes to the Big Show for crying again. Also I would be remiss if I didn’t give this dishonor to Santino Marella and Heath Slater. Your match was like your careers a fucking joke. Sorry but not really, gimmicky shit like this isn’t needed or wanted in the WWE.

In closing the show was an improvement over the past shows. I want to give a personal shoutout to my bestie Valari for watching wrestling tonight. Thank you for giving it a try, and thank you for talking me thru it. I don’t think I could have made it through the show without you making me laugh. I give it a grade of an A-. I got to see the Shield several times and I got to see the Miz get neutered again. Welcome back psychotic Orton, you have been missed.  Make sure you all check out  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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