Riley’s Corner: WWE Raw Review for 09/23/13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on RAW. Hopefully tonight we will see what Triple H and Stephanie McMahon have in store for the WWE and the WWE universe. With the newly minted Battleground PPV right around the corner, will we see more of a buildup or will we see the creative team swing and miss wildly? Who will Randy Orton demolish tonight?  Tonight we are live from Chicago, IL and on commentary we have Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole and the egotistical JBL. A tribute to Angelo Savoldi is shown.

The ten superstars that came to Daniel Bryan’s defense is on the ramp. Here comes Stephanie McMahon and Triple H to address the WWE superstars and the WWE Universe. The Shield is standing guard in front of the ring. They thank them for being men and standing up for what is right. Triple H sets up a match between the Shield and everyone that is on the ramp. Plus they will get Daniel Bryan as a tag partner. This is absolute bullshit, Trips and Stephanie throwing the Shield under the bus. Fuck that! Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth, and RVD are in competition to face Randy Orton, the WWE Universe will vote on the WWE App to pick the winner.

 Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio—the match starts off with Del Rio putting Kofi in the corner and kicking him. He puts Kofi in a side headlock and takes him down with a shoulder block. Kofi ends up knocking Del Rio out of the ring and does a high flying move to keep him down. Both men are in the ring and Kofi is dominating. He goes for a pin but Del Rio kicks out. Del Rio starts punishing Kofi. He does a suplex and goes for the pin but Kofi kicks out. He slams Kofi back down by his hair and is using the ropes to choke him. While Kofi is under the ropes, Del Rio kicks him in the face. He gets back in the ring and Kofi starts showing signs of life. He kicks Del Rio, and puts him outside the ring on the apron. He does a beautiful dropkick knocking Del Rio to the floor. He goes for a suicide dive but Del Rio cowardly moves out of the way. Back from commercial and Del Rio is dominating Kofi. He is working the left arm of Kofi Kingston. Kofi tries to flip him into a cover but fails to do so. Del Rio goes back to targeting the left arm of Kofi. Kofi somehow gains momentum and attacks Del Rio while he is on the top rope. Del Rio does the cross arm breaker while hanging on the ropes. He breaks the hold and clotheslines Kofi down. Kofi starts punching and kicking back while driving Del Rio into the corner. Del Rio goes to the top rope and dives down but Kofi kicks him. Kofi strikes him down and does another dropkick. Del Rio kicks him in the left arm and goes to a corner. He charges and Kofi nails him with the SOS. Kofi goes for the pin but Del Rio kicks out. Kofi nails him with the Boom Drop. He calls for Trouble in Paradise and Del Rio counters with a German Suplex. He goes for the pin but Kofi kicks out. He goes to attack but Kofi counters with a DDT. Kofi kicks him in the head and goes for a cross body but Del Rio moves out of the way. Del Rio plants him shoulder first into the steel ring post. He locks in the Cross Arm Breaker. Winner and still lame: ADR

Renee Young interviews the Miz and he is either doing an impersonation of a mannequin at Nordstroms or he forgot his lines. Either way he looks pretty…..pretty dumb. A recap of the ass whooping he got from Orton is shown from last week. He is getting ready to answer her question but Triple H shows up. He says he will not let the Miz get near Randy Orton tonight, however he will have the Miz host MizTv and his guest is the Big Show. Miz glares at him but it’s as threatening as having a Beanie Baby glare at you. You know it ain’t gonna do shit to you.

The Wyatt Family vs. The Prime Time Players—Harper and Young start off the match. They lockup and Harper is getting owned until he delivers a big boot to Darren Young. He tags in Rowan who slams Darren Young down. He head-butts Young repeatedly before scooping him up and draping him over the ropes. He tags in Harper who takes delight in toying with Young. Harper drags him back to their corner and tags back in Rowan. Rowan starts delivering brutal punches until the ref stops him. He delivers a weak looking backbreaker and tags in Harper again. Harper strikes away at Young. Young fights back and crawls to his corner to tag in Titus. He takes the fight to Harper. He scoops him up and slams him down. He attacks Rowan, Young comes in and takes Rowan to the floor. Harper clotheslines O’Neil. Winner: The Wyatt Family

Bray Wyatt comes in and viciously attacks Darren Young. He delivers his finisher, Sister Abigail’s kiss to Darren. He kneels over Darren and Titus and screams ‘follow the buzzards’.

Miz is out to host MizTV, with his special guest the Big Show. Another recap of the curb stomping he received from Randy Orton is shown. He talks about how pissed off he is about being humiliated in front of his friends and family. He threatens Orton which is downright laughable. He launches in a verbal tirade about Dusty Rhodes being knocked out by Big Show. Here comes the Big Show to defend his honor. Miz starts right in by asking why and how he could have done that to Dusty Rhodes. Show says nothing and here comes the Miz to verbally unleash on Stephanie and Triple H. He calls Stephanie a castrating witch and she comes out. Someone about to get his balls handed to him. She verbally castrates him by saying he is a disappointment to his family and everyone around him. She says that he should know that he isn’t a major player, he has a value as a utility player. She says that he is good for publicity, they send him to interviews and promotional work all over the world. She says that Miz, he failed his friends, family and himself. She orders Big Show to knock him out, which he does willingly. Also Miz, please leave the studded designer shoes to chicks.

Randy Orton vs. RVD—RVD is escorted to the ring by Ricardo Rodriguez. The match starts off with Orton kicking RVD. Orton is owning RVD’s ass until RVD starts kicking away at him. Orton rolls out of the ring but comes back and RVD takes him down. He has Orton in the corner and is kicking away at him. Orton goes outside the ring and has a slight temper tantrum. Someone give him a cookie. Back from commercial and both men are in the ring and Orton goes for a pin but RVD kicks out. He has RVD in a side headlock but RVD fights out. He takes Orton down and does the Rolling Thunder. He goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. RVD starts ramming his shoulder into Orton’s midsection. RVD goes for a Moonsault but Orton moves out of the way. Orton puts RVD on the apron and goes for a DDT from the second rope. Orton stalks around the ring to gain his psychotic side. He pounds the mat before going for an RKO but RVD kicks him. He goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. Orton is on the receiving end of a thrust kick. RVD goes for a dive and connects with Orton. RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash but Ortn hits him and he goes nuts first on the turnbuckle. Orton kicks him off of the top rope and onto the floor. Orton pulls him up and slams him into the announcer table face first. He sends him crashing into the barricade. He exposes the metal underneath the padding and backdrops him on the metal. Orton has been counted out. He sends him crashing into the steel steps. Orton starts punching away at him before sending him flying into the other set of steel steps. He throws RVD over the announcer’s table. He rolls him in the ring and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Oh how I have missed that psychotic grin. He goes for a DDT from the top rope, before it connects, he chuckles oh so evilly. The medics get in the ring to stop him from killing RVD.

Apparently while medics and officials were tending to RVD, Alberto Del Rio attacks RVD.

The Bella Twins are in the back talking and Orton tells her that she needs a real man. She shoots him down and says she has a real man in Daniel Bryan. I am so not even going to comment on this.

Stephanie is in her office and AJ comes bounding in and Stephanie comments on AJ’s love life. She gives her a copy of the Triple H DVD which has Stephanie and Triple H’s wedding on it. AJ says she shouldn’t be in the Divas tag match. Stephanie gets in her face and tells her she will compete in the match or she will not be champion for much longer.

Fandango vs. Santino Marella—the match starts off with Santino mocking Fandango’s dance moves. Santino gets slammed to the mat. Fandango continues his assault on Santino while Summer Critter looks on stupidly. Santino gets flung into the corner and Fandingo goes for the pin but Santino kicks out. Fandingo puts him in a side headlock but Santino fights out. Fandango puts him in an abdominal stretch and Santino starts throwing elbows to fight his way out. Santino hip tosses Fandango down. He pulls out the Cobra and Sumer Eve starts screaming like Vickie G. Fandango takes advantage of the distraction and Fandango does a leg drop from the top rope. He goes for the pin and wins. Winner: Fandango

CM Punk comes out wearing a Blackhawks jersey. He says the crowd made him smile despite the pissed off mood he is in. He cuts one helluva promo on Heyman and his goons. Brad Maddox has made a match between CM Punk and Ryback at the next PPV which is Battleground. Heyman rides out on a motorized scooter reminiscent of Johnny Ace. He and Punk have a heated exchange of words. He tries to leave on the scooter but it won’t start. Punk goes after him and here comes Ryback and Curtis Axel to attack him. Punk puts up a helluva fight and Heyman reveals that he doesn’t need the scooter, as he can walk on his own two feet. Punk gets dropped on the concrete floor. He walks out on his own as the medics follow him.

Brie, Nikki, Cameron, Naomi, Natalya vs. Tamina, AJ Lee, Layla, Aksana, Alicia Fox—Natalya and Alicia kick off the match. Nattie goes for the Sharpshooter but Alicia counters. Alicia goes for the pin but Nattie kicks out. She has Nattie in a side headlock and Nattie powers out. Alicia slams her backwards and does some sort of flippy move but lands on her ass. Here comes the Brie Bella who takes out Alicia and some of the other divas on the apron. Here comes AJ to take down Brie. Brie faceplants the bitch and scores the win. The best diva won. Winners: Team Total Divas

The Shield cuts another fantastic promo. They say this match is best for business. I love the Shield and I believe in them 100%. I am not the wishy-washy type of fan who likes them only when they win. Win or lose, I believe in the Shield. So stop getting on my ass about it or I will kick your ass. I am tired of dumbasses who say I should bow down to other superstars. I don’t tell you to like certain wrestlers so kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TRYING TO TELL ME WHO TO LIKE.

Daniel Bryan comes out for the main event. He cuts a promo and I have zero fucking interest in listening to him spew his comments. He is a non-mother fucking factor at the moment.

When the Shield comes out they get attacked by Goldust and Cody Rhodes. Hello dumbasses, you attacked the wrong three. You should have attacked Orton and Big Show.

11 on 3 Elimination tag match—the Shield eliminated 7 of their opponents before shit goes south on them. Dean gets eliminated and it’s all on Seth to save the day. Too bad the numbers game is against him as the opposing team band together and Daniel Bryan and his bitches win. Winner: Daniel Bryan and his minions.

Match of the Night—Randy Orton and RVD’s match was entertaining.

WTF moment—goes to everything else that was on this travesty of a show.

In closing, I thought the show sucked donkey balls. I give it a grade of F-. Come on WWE pull your head out of your asses. Despite what some morons believe, it isn’t because of the Shield losing, the show seemed thrown together at the last minute and was lackluster. Make sure you all check out http://www.blogtalkradio.com/live-nation-radio-network.  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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