Riley’s Corner: WWE Raw Review for 09/16/13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on RAW. Tonight we are live from Cleveland, Ohio and I expect there will be massive fallout from the NOC PPV last night. How will Randy Orton react to losing his title? Was this part of the corporation’s scheme all along or did someone else pull the strings for Daniel Bryan’s controversial win? Also will we see Daniel Bryan stripped of the title and will Scott Armstrong be punished for his role in last night’s shenanigans? Is Ryback the newest Paul Heyman guy and will he destroy Punk after Axel failed to do so? Suck it Shield naysayers as my boys won clean and fairly.  Also Dusty Rhodes will be there tonight as Stephanie McMahon had extended an invitation to him. I am looking forward to seeing how everything plays out tonight.

The show starts off with Daniel Bryan coming out to celebrate being the new champion. He grabs a microphone and the crowd goes nuts. He does his yes chant and the music of Triple H starts. Triple H comes out to the ring. He starts off with addressing the fast count that took place last night. Here comes Scott Armstrong to explain his actions. He has footage shown of Scott’s normal count and the count that was done when Daniel Bryan pinned Orton. Armstrong claims the ‘I don’t know’ defense. He claims to have made a mistake, Triple H claims that Armstrong isn’t telling him everything. Scott looks at Daniel Bryan and says ‘they got us’. Triple H says he is ashamed of Daniel Bryan. Triple H strips him of the title, he says he will not return the title to Orton. He says there is no WWE Champion until he concludes his investigation. Trips says to hand over the title or he will take it from Daniel Bryan. Here comes Randy Orton. Trips tells him to calm down. Orton attacks Daniel Bryan and Triple H takes the title from him.

Stephanie and Paul are talking when Randy comes barreling up to them. He tries to take the title from Paul, and Stephanie gets in his face and busts his balls. By the way you dumbasses who keep calling her a bitch, she isn’t a bitch, she is a strong female who is assertive. You cannot handle that because you are moronic imbeciles who are afraid of women. She lays into him and says he better find the sick sadistic bastard he used to be or else they will find a new champion and a new face of the WWE. Trips say that is the guy they are looking for.

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler—just once I want to see Ziggler slide off the apron as he does his entrance into the ring. The match starts off with a lockup and Ambrose putting Ziggler in the corner. They struggle for power for a bit before the ref forces Ambrose off of Ziggler. Ziggler takes him down with a cross body. Once both men get back in the ring, Ziggler applies the sleeper hold. Ambrose fights out and puts Ziggler in the sleeper hold. Ziggler breaks the hold by dropping down. Ambrose sends him flying over the corner post. Back from commercial and Ambrose is in charge of the match. He goes for a pin but Ziggler kicks out. Ambrose is working him like a government mule, Ziggler starts punching away at him but Ambrose sends him flying thru the ropes. He slams his head into the turnbuckle. Dean rakes his nails up Ziggler’s back before doing a superplex. He goes for the pin but Ziggler kicks out again. Dean starts working the neck of Ziggler. Ziggler makes a comeback and does his series of elbow drops. He goes for the pin but Ambrose kicks out. Ambrose plants him on the ground before going for a pin but once again Blondie Locks kicks out. Ambrose starts punching the whining out of Ziggler. He goes for a neckbreaker but Ziggler counters into a backslide but Ambrose kicks out. Ziggler nails him with the zig zag.  He’s been there for ten years how the fuck can he be the future of the company if all he does is whine about others being a champion? Winner and still a crybaby: Dolph Ziggler

Big Show is shown waiting for Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. Brad Maddox assures him rather nervously that they are on the way. Back from commercial and Stephanie is having a staredown with Big Show while Maddox is kissing Triple H’s ass. Triple H makes a match between Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns for later tonight. Stephanie tears him a new ass, she tells him unless she needs him, he needs to stay his ass in the office.

R-Truth vs. Fandango—one day Summer Eve is going to have a twirling accident when she twirls right into the ring post. Truth makes fun of Fandango before clubbing him with a huge right hand. He slams him down before doing a leg drop on Fandumbo. He goes for a pin but Fandingus kicks out while Summer Rae does her horrible and I do mean horrible facial expressions. Y’all that say Dean Ambrose does horrible expressions, have you seen the ones that Critter Chick makes? Truth sends Fandango flying over the top rope. Truth rolls him in the ring and Fandango strikes him down when he gets in the ring. Fandango sends him flying into the corner, he goes for a rear chinlock and Truth powers to his feet. He takes Fandango down with a heel kick and continues to slam the dancer down. Truth goes for another pin but Fandango kicks out. Fandango kicks him before going up to the top rope, he does a leg drop. Winner and still owner of a lame gimmick: Fandango and Summer Rae

Dusty Rhodes comes out to confront Stephanie McMahon. She tells him he has to make a choice on which son gets their job back. His precious baby boy Cody or the son he abandoned (Dustin). Stephanie twists that knife but Dusty isn’t having it. He tries to ask if she does this to her children. Here comes the Shield to demolish Dusty Rhodes but Stephanie makes Big Show do it. The Shield grabs steel chairs in case Big Show doesn’t do what he is told. Big Show cries and pleads for Dusty to forgive him before he knocks him out. The medics have to stretcher Dusty out of the ring and into an ambulance. Big Show rides to the hospital with Dusty while some superstars look on in shock.

Brie/Naomi/Cameron vs. Layla/Aksana/Alicia—AJ and Natalya are on commentary. Brie has earned a new nickname with the Rainbow Brite look, everytime she wears this outfit she shall be called Rainbow Skank. Naomi and Layla start off the match and Layla starts off dominating the match but Naomi takes her down with the Rear View. Naomi goes for the pin but Layla kicks out. Here comes Cameron and they double team Layla for a bit. Alicia Fox attacks Cameron from behind when the referee isn’t looking and the three divas do quick tags while working on Cameron. Alicia decides to be cute and it backfires on her. Here comes Aksana and Rainbow Skank to fight it out. All six women get in the ring and fight it out. When order is restored, Brie scores the win. Natalya and AJ share words and a stare down. Winner: Brie, Naomi, and Cameron.

Damien Sandow vs. RVD—the match starts off with a lockup and Sandow kicking the stuffing out of RVD. Sandow goes for a  quick pin but RVD kicks out. Sandow plants him in the corner and starts shoulder ramming him. He does the side Russian Leg sweep and follows it up with the Elbow of Distain. He goes for a pin but RVD kicks out. He puts RVD in a rear chinlock and RVD powers out. RVD does a Hurricanrana and follows it up with a crossbody. RVD does rolling thunder but Sandow counters. He goes for the pin but RVD kicks out. RVD does a thrust kick before going to the top rope. He does his Five Star Frog Splash. Winner: Rob Van Dam

Triple H is shown backstage with Scott Armstrong. Trips gives him a little speech before telling him that he will receive a severance package. Trips keeps saying that he will take care of him.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz—the hometown hero, Miz is making nice with his parents when Orton viciously attacks him by slamming him into the barricade. He then throws him into the steel steps and is pummeling away as his parents look on in shock. Back from commercial break and the assault continues. The Miz said no to seeing the doctor because he wanted to continue the match. The match starts  and the Miz taking it to Orton. Orton reverses the momentum and is working on annihilating the Awesome One. Miz goes face first in the steel ring post and Orton seems like he is hearing those dastardly voices that he needs. He throws the Miz over the announcer table and is stomping away at him. He starts hammering away at the Miz and beats him near his parents. Miz sends him flying over the barricade but Orton makes a comeback. He DDT’s him over the barricade in front of his parents. FUCK YES! He throws Miz into the ring and grabs a steel chair. He places the chair around his neck and does a knee drop on it. I don’t know who is crying more, the Miz or his momma. Officials get in the ring and prevent Orton from doing anymore damage. OK IWC, you wanted heel Orton, well you got him. So don’t start whining or bitching now.

Curtis Axel escorts Paul Heyman and Ryback out to the ramp. Heyman is in a wheel chair and zero fucks are given. Heyman starts gloating about his victory over Punk. He and Ryback have a love fest. Ryback says Heyman never has to worry about getting attacked by Punk ever again. Heyman leans over and kisses Ryback. Their new supercouple names are Walrus Fucker or WalBeck.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans vs. The Usos—The winner of this match will be the new number one contenders to face the Shield for their tag titles. Swagger and Brodus Clay start off the match. Swagger goes to the outside to get wrestling tips from Cesaro and Colter. Swagger tags in Jimmy Uso. Clay slams him down. After much shenanigans and action. The Usos win. I am sorry but not really these two don’t deserve a title shot. Winner and still irrelevant to me: The Usos

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan—Randy Orton decides that he is needed at ringside. The match starts off with a lockup and then Scraggly Do taking it to Roman Reigns. He starts doing striking kicks before taking down Reigns. Bryan starts working the left leg of Reigns. He starts head-butting Roman. Everytime that Orton thinks that Roman is going to lose, he stands up like he is going to run in. They are on the ropes and Reigns tries to suplex him off of the ropes. Daniel Bryan head-butts him and Reigns goes crashing down. Bryan goes to the flying goat but Reigns moves out of the way. He goes for the pin but Bryan kicks out.  Reigns slams him backwards before going for another pin attempt. He stands over Daniel Bryan and yells at him. Daniel Bryan kicks him and Reigns slams him down again. He goes for a pin but Daniel Bryan kicks out. He goes for the powerbomb but Daniel Bryan counters. He goes for the pin but Reigns kicks out. Daniel Bryan attacks Seth Rollins. Reigns delivers a brutal clothesline that nearly took off DB’s head. DB locks the Yes Lock on Reigns. Here comes Orton to attack Daniel Bryan so DB locks it in on DB. The Shield save Orton and here comes the locker room acting like they got a set of balls when Orton does the chair thing to Daniel Bryan. It took what half the locker room to neutralize the Shield and Orton. That’s bad for them not the Shield. Justice will be served oh wait it has been since Daniel Bryan has been stripped of the title.

Match of the Night—Orton got his balls back. Welcome back to the dark and psychotic side Randy. We have cake and cookies for your return. Sorry Miz, but you know the hometown boy always gets his ass whooped.

WTF moment goes to the locker room for finally getting a set of balls to attack the Shield. Where the fuck were y’all at when DB needed you? That’s right you little bitches were cowering in a corner.

In closing I thought the show was lackluster and lame. I give it a grade of a C+. I enjoyed seeing Ambrose win at NOC on his own, also I enjoyed his match with Ziggler. I am sick of everyone telling me who I should cheer and boo. I don’t fucking do this shit to you so don’t try this shit with me. So now that Daniel Bryan has a victory maybe some of the IWC will stop crying like little bitches. For those constantly whining about the show just shut the fuck up and enjoy the program or find a new show to watch. Make sure you all check out http://www.blogtalkradio.com/live-nation-radio-network.  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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