Riley’s Corner: WWE Smackdown Review for 09/13/13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match on SmackDown. This is the final show before the Night of Champions PPV on Sunday. Tonight we are live from Ottawa, Canada and we have the vile Michael Cole and loudmouth JBL on commentary. This review is dedicated to Jim Ross and will probably have foul language ahead. That was your disclaimer, so kick back and enjoy the review. On tonight’s show we get The Cutting Edge with special guests Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan.

Big Show comes out to kick off the episode. I expect there to be some sort of punishment for his refusal to follow orders on Monday night. Big Show reads an apology statement and now we see why Knucklehead failed as a movie. Dude, we saw more emotion out of you when you were crying like a baby. Here comes Triple H to dole out the punishment. He starts off by thanking him for his apology but critiques him for his insincerity. He reminds Show that by refusing to follow his orders, that is grounds for dismissal, Show pleads for his job. So Triple H suspends him without pay for one night. Here we go with the reminder that Show is broke. The Shield’s music hits and here they come to deliver some justice. They attack him like a pack of rabid dogs, however Show fights back but the numbers game take over. Dean Ambrose knocks him out of the ring. Show gets on the announcer’s table, Reigns grabs a chair and clubs him like a baby seal. The Big Show mounts a comeback and gets Reigns in the ring He goes for a chokeslam but here comes Dean Ambrose to save his partner. He and Reigns eat a chokeslam as does Seth Rollins. Roman grabs the steel chair and starts swinging away. Under Ambrose’s gentle guidance, he clubs him with a chair once more. They triple powerbomb the big crybaby. They stand over him victorious.

Natalya/Brie/Naomi vs. Alicia/Aksana/Layla-AJ joins in on the commentary. Brie and Aksana start off the match. Aksana slaps her when Brie gets distracted by running her mouth to AJ. She gets attacked by Alicia but Brie kicks her. All of the divas fight it out in the ring for a few moments before the referee regains control. Aksana tags in Alicia and here comes Naomi. She goes for a pin on Naomi but Naomi kicks out. Alicia kicks at Natalya’s hand and Naomi slams her down. Naomi tags in Natalya and here comes Aksana. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter but AJ gets in the ring. She gets her non-existent ass handed to her by Brie, Naomi, and Natalya. Winner by DQ: Brie, Natalya, and Naomi

We learn that Vickie Guerrero has just made a match between Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose. If Ziggler wins, he gets a title shot against Dean Ambrose at Night of Champions.

Vickie Guerrero is standing in the ring and announces a dance off competition between Fandango, R-Truth, Khali, and The Miz. What the fuck is the Miz wearing? Did he really raid the closet of Disco Inferno or 3 Count? Can we get subtitles for when Khali speaks? R-Truth starts off the competition, Fandango is up next. He didn’t dance but more like marched in place. Miz is twerking!!!!!!!!!!!!! Khali dances and the crowd is deadly quiet. Miz doing his best Frankenstein impersonation was a hit. The winner is determined by the applause of the crowd. The winner is the Miz. R-Truth and The Miz kick his happy little prance ass. They do their Awesome Truth handshake and it made me happy.

Ryback is shown backstage. He starts talking that he is a man of many talents. He is going to interview Robert Evans, a local wrestler. Oh lawd, Ryshrek is going to kill the little fella. He bitch slaps the guy down and follows it up with a kick to the midsection. Ryback, a better interviewer than JBL.

Vickie G. is in her office when Ricardo Rodriguez comes strolling in saying she wanted to see him. She says that he cannot be in RVD’s corner at NOC due to fears of his safety. They argue so she says RVD can be in his corner when he takes on ADR tonight.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella—the match starts off with Sandow putting Marella in the corner. Santino scares him off with the cobra gesture. Sandow takes him down and starts stomping away at him. He goes for the pin but Marella kicks out. He does a side Russian Leg Sweep and follows up with the Elbow of Distain. He goes for a pin but Marella kicks out. Sandow puts him in an abdominal stretch but Marella fights out. He does a diving head-butt and here comes the Cobra but Sandow stops him. Sandow goes crashing into the ring post and the Cobra strikes him down. Winner and still a joke: Santino Marella

Michael Cole is in the ring to do his in-depth interview with Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel. Heyman and Curtis come out and Heyman looks like he hasn’t slept or showered in days. A video package of the feud between Punk and Heyman is shown. Cole asks what they have planned to ensure that Punk doesn’t get his hands on Heyman. Axel tries to spin his answer by filling it with big words. I doubt he knows the definition or how to spell it. Heyman says he isn’t a man of war, but an advocate of peace. I call bullshit as he calls for a boycott of the Night of Champions PPV. Heyman, I would pay big money to see you and Axel get your asses kicked to hell and back. I hope Punk destroys you and your little puppet too. Heyman claims that Punk will slaughter him so bad that this is the last time that we will ever see Heyman.

ADR vs. Ricardo Rodriguez—Ricardo comes out to RVD’s music and is escorted to the ring by Rob Van Dam. The match starts off with ADR viciously attacking Ricardo. He spears his former BFF in the corner and follows it up with a kick to the head. He does another kick to Ricardo. He mocks RVD by doing his pose. Ricardo takes advantage of the distraction and rolls up Del Rio but he kicks out. Del Rio kicks him in the head and starts head-butting him again. Out of nowhere Ricardo dropkicks him and then tornado DDTs him. He goes for the pin but Del Rio kicks out. Ricardo goes to the top rope but Del Rio strikes him down. He knocks down RVD and then goes up to the top rope with Ricardo. They both go flying down to the mat. Winner: Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker on Ricardo and here comes RVD to attack him. He does his Five Star Frog Splash.

A clip of an interview with Triple H is shown. He defends his actions as COO and says that he knows what is best for business. Umm Trips, I love you and I respect you but please remove your head from Vince’s ass. If you continue with your shenanigans, I cannot and will not defend you.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose—if Zigglypuff wins he gets a title shot against Dean at NOC.  They go for a lockup but Ziggler dodges him and takes him down. Dean gets up and puts him in the corner and they start fighting it out. Dean regains the momentum and starts punishing Ziggler. He slams his face into the turnbuckle. God bless Dean Ambrose, he is the future of wrestling. Ziggler takes him down with a crossbody and starts punching away at Ambrose. Ambrose rolls out of the ring to create some separation. Dean gets back in the ring and starts stomping away at Ziggler. He goes for a pin but Ziggler kicks out. He locks in a rear chinlock and Ziggler powers to his feet. He delivers a knee to Ziggler. While Dean is verbally challenging him, Blondie Locks fights back. He does a series of elbow drops to Dean. Dean goes to the corner and Ziggler goes to charge at him but Ambrose moves out of the way in the nick of time. Back from commercial and Ambrose is in control of the match. He starts slugging away at Zigglypuff. He scoop slams him down. He goes to the rope and drops down on Ziggler but Ziggler kicks him in the face (HELL NAW). Ziggler has him in the corner and is punching away. He goes for the pin but Ambrose kicks out. Ambrose rolls him up but Ziggler counters. Ziggler nails him with the Fame Asser. He goes for the pin but Rollins and Reigns make the save. Here comes the Usos to even things up. Winner by DQ: Dolph Ziggler.

Vickie G. comes out and says that he has got his title shot at Sunday. She also makes it a six man match.

The Usos/Ziggler vs. The Shield—back from commercial and the match is already underway. One of the Usos tags in Ziggler so he can fight Rollins. He is dominating Rollins and Dean taunts him. While Ziggler is distracted here comes Rollins to attack. He tags in Reigns who takes down Ziggler and goes for the pin but Ziggler kicks out. He tags in Ambrose who starts kicking away at Ziggler. Ziggler fights back and Ambrose takes him down. He goes for the pin but Ziggler kicks out. He tags in Rollins. He goes for a pin but Ziggler kicks out. They are adamant about keeping Ziggler in their corner. Here comes Reigns and they double team Ziggler. He goes for a pin but Ziggler kicks out. He goes for a chin lock and Ziggler fights back. Roman punches him and tags in Ambrose. Ambrose gets out of the ring, the satellite blacked out for a second, so I missed what happened. He gets back in the ring and tags in Reigns. Reigns goes crashing into the ring post. Ziggler tags in a Uso, and Reigns tags in Rollins. Rollins gets Samoa Dropped and here comes Ambrose. Ziggler and Ambrose go flying over the top rope. Reigns spears a Uso but gets super kicked. Rollins rolls up the Uso after he does a flying move. Winner and still Superior to any other tag team in the WWE: The Shield

It’s time for Cutting Edge with Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan. Edge rants about Triple H for a couple of minutes. Edge says that he is there only for the fans. Here comes Orton and his opponent Daniel Bryan. Orton taunts Edge and Daniel Bryan puffs up to Orton. Edge calls Orton a sellout. Hold the damn phone, didn’t Edge do the same thing over and over? He took advantage of his relationship with Vickie G. to get ahead in the business. So either own it or be a hypocrite. After much bitching from all three men, Orton gets the Yes locked slapped on him. Officials have to break it up and this is how the show ends with Orton holding his left arm and Scraggly Do chanting yes. Dude, it’s wrestling not an Herbal Essence commercial.

Match of the Night—goes to Ambrose and Ziggler. It was a decent match with a lot on the line. Both men pulled it off.

The WTF moment—this dishonor goes to Edge for seemingly forget all the bullshit that he has pulled to become champion. Also the dance contest deserves a huge WTF moment as its wrestling not dancing with the wrestlers.

In closing the show was a clusterfuck of a disappointment. Sorry but it is true, so here’s a challenge for their creative team, stop circle jerking each other and write a better show. I know you can do it, because you have done it before. I give it a grade of a C-. Nothing made sense except for the Show getting suspended and the Ambrose vs. Ziggler match. Make sure you all check out  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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