It’s Riley’s Main Event: WWE Main Event Review for 08/28/13

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It’s Riley’s Main Event

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to It’s Riley’s Main Event where I break down each segment and match on Main Event. At the close of the review I will pick the standout moment, Superstar or Diva of the show and give a brief explanation of my choices. Hopefully there will be buildup towards the Night of Champions PPV that is coming up in a few weeks. Josh Matthews and Alex Riley are on commentary.

The show opens with a recap of the Curtis Axel/CM Punk fight from Monday night. The more I see of Heyman and Axel’s brutal attack on Punk the more I understand the buildup of the match. Even though I think that Curtis Axel sucks, Heyman sold the attack beautifully. From yelling “I love you”, and more he really let out the emotions and to his tearful interview with Renee Young, it was chilling and brilliant. I honestly cannot wait to see how their rematch at Night of Champions will play out.

Curtis Axel vs. Cody Rhodes—the match starts off with a lockup and Curtis Axel escaping. I don’t know why he smiling he still sucks donkey balls. He takes Rhodes down repeatedly and he goes for a side headlock. Cody sends him flying into the ropes and Axel takes him down with a shoulder block. Cody takes him down. The Brawny man wannabe tries to laugh it off. Cody finally gets some offense in and goes for a pin but Axel kicks out. Axel rolls out of the ring to throw a temper tantrum and to confer with his wet nurse Paul Heyman. Axel finally gets in the ring and he goes for another lockup with Cody. He throws Cody into the corner who flips Axel into a pin but he kicks out. He starts punching away at Rhodes. Axel sends Rhodes flying to the outside of the ring. Cody tries to fight him off but Axel aggressively sends him flying into the barricade. Back from commercial and both men are in the ring. Curtis goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out.  He goes for a reverse chinlock and Cody is struggling to get out of the hold. Cody flings him off of him but Axel counters with a clothesline that seems weaker than a punch from a doll. Cody is on the apron and is fighting back but Axel overpowers him. He goes for another pin but Rhodes kicks out. Axel nails him with a dropkick and goes for another pin but Rhodes kicks out. Cody starts fighting back but Axel sends him flying viciously into the corner. He goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out. Axel scoop slams him and goes to the ropes and drops down an axe handle smash. He follows up with a choke hold and Cody is struggling to break free. Rhodes powers to his feet and starts nailing Axel with some vicious punches. Axel takes him down and he goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out.  He does a knee to the face on Rhodes. Rhodes does a moonsault and sends Axel flying thru the ropes. Rhodes kicks him and does a clothesline to Axel. Rhodes goes for the Disaster Kick but misses. Axel goes for the Perfect Plex but Rhodes counters with the Alabama Slam. Cody goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. Cody goes for a side headlock and Axel takes him down. He goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out. Cody attacks him in the corner and folds him in half and slams him down. He goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out. He hits a maneuver and scores the win. Winner: Curtis Axel

Prime Time Players vs. Real Americans—is it wrong that I hope that Zeb Colter gets his ass kicked. Oh damn he isn’t getting on the microphone. Did someone finally tell him to pop a Midol before a match? The match starts off with Darren Young and Cesaro. Cesaro puts Young in the corner and Young fights his way out. He takes down Cesaro and goes for a quick pin but Cesaro kicks out. Here comes Titus to work on Cesaro. Darren and Titus double team him. Young gets send crashing to the floor and Swagger attacks him. Bitch you better recognize that Darren Young is more talented than your worthless ass. Thwagger and Young are battling it out in the middle of the ring and Darren goes for the pin but Swagger kicks out. Cesaro hits Young when the ref isn’t looking. Swagger does the Swagger bomb and Darren goes to the outside of the ring. Cesaro follows him and throws him back in the ring. Cesaro suplexes him and tags in Swagger. Swagger slams him down to the mat and tags in Cesaro.  They keep screaming ‘we the people’ and the more I hear that the more I want to shove my boot up their ass. He puts Young in a side headlock and Titus is cheering for Darren. He fights his way out of the corner and tags in Titus. Here comes Titus and Jackass. Titus slams Jackass down, he follows up with a boot to the face. Swagger slams him down and goes for the pin but Young comes into break it up and Cesaro runs into interfere. Young nails Swagger.  Winners: Prime Time Players

A recap of Triple H gifting Randy Orton a Cadillac Escalade. As we all know the vehicle gets vandalized by Daniel Bryan. The best part of that segment was Triple H singing. He needs to have an album out. So record labels get to it and make it happen.

Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango—Apparently Fandango raided the closet of John Morrison while Summer Rae skinned several My Little Ponies for her outfit. This is my wish for Summer Rae that she would learn that she doesn’t have to keep her mouth open 24/7. It makes her look like she is in dire need of water. Kofi’s look of what the fuck am I seeing says it all. The match starts off with Fandingo prancing around. I know Alex Riley didn’t just compare him to John Morrison. Morrison never pranced around the ring like he wanted to be a ballroom dancing idiot. Morrison has talent and can say more than his name. So NEVER EVER compare the two again Alex Riley. They chain wrestle and Kingston takes him down. Fandango goes for the ropes. Kofi goes for a quick pin but Fawndawngo rolls thru. He goes for a side headlock on Kofi and sends him flying to the mat. Kofi takes him down with a flying elbow. He is working the left arm and shoulder of Fandango. Kofi pulls him off the apron and sends him face first into it. Kofi dives off the ropes and takes him down. He throws him in the ring, Fandango uses the ropes to his advantage. He sends Kofi flying into the steps. After much back and forth action, Kofi nails him with the Boom Drop. He was going to follow it up with another move but Critter Chick tries to interfere. Someone better stop her before she gets hurt. The official saw it and stopped the match. Wow she must be a moron if she doesn’t know what happened. Winner: Kofi Kingston.

Standout Moment: Tonight’s standout moment is Alex Riley on commentary. For the love of wrestling call the damn match and not bore us with your stats. Nobody wants to hear that shit. We want to hear you call the match or talk about what’s going on in the ring.

Superstar of the Night: this honor goes to the Prime Time Players for defeating those so called Real Americans. Darren and Titus have shown improvement in their wrestling abilities.

In closing, I thought tonight’s show was decent. For those constantly whining about the show just shut the fuck up and enjoy the program or find a new show to watch. Make sure you all check out  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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