Riley’s Corner: WWE Smackdown Review for 08/02/13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

 Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I breakdown each segment and matches on SmackDown. Tonight we are live from Houston, Texas. On commentary we have Michael Cole and Alex Riley, dear wrestling gods please let him be an improvement over JBL. On tonight’s lineup we have CM Punk vs. Fandango, Kaitlyn vs. AJ for the Divas title. Also ADR makes an announcement on who will be his opponent at SummerSlam.

Alberto Del Rio kicks off the show to make his major announcement. He starts bitching and whining about how the fans never supported him. He starts complimenting SmackDown GM, Vickie Guerrero. He tries to lead the crowd into chanting her name but the crowd refuses to do so. He insults Daniel Bryan and John Cena. He says he would have picked Brock Lesnar but Lesnar already has a match at SummerSlam. He goes on for a bit before choosing Ricardo Rodriguez to be his opponent. Here comes Vickie G. to make an announcement. She scolds ADR for picking Ricardo, ADR backtracks and says that he will pick another opponent. He says the Brooklyn Brawler and Vickie shoots him down. She makes a triple threat match between RVD, Christian, and Randy Orton. The winner of this match will face Alberto Del Rio at SummerSlam for the WHC.

Jack Swagger vs. Cody Rhodes—Swagger is accompanied to the ring by his mouthpiece Zeb Colter. Colter gets on the microphone and scolds the fans until Cody smacks the microphone out of his hands and attacks Swagger. The match officially gets underway and Rhodes is owning Swagger’s untalented ass. He delivers a knee to the face and goes for the pin but Swagger kicks out. Swagger slams Rhodes down before putting him in the corner and starts driving his knee into the guts of Rhodes. He does a clothesline and goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out. Swagger is working the arms and shoulders of Rhodes but Rhodes powers out. He goes for the disaster kick but Swagger counters with a Swagger bomb. He goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out. Swagger goes for a suplex but Rhodes counters with a rollup. Winner: Cody Rhodes.

Josh Matthews congratulates Rhodes on his victory of Swagger before bringing up Cody Rhodes stealing Damian Sandow’s briefcase. Cody says that he was fed up with Sandow’s constant criticism and talking down to him. He cracks a bad joke and goes on to say that he was the best thing about Team Rhodes Scholars. Here comes Damian Sandow to attack him from behind. Officials finally break it up.

Sin Cara vs. Big E Langston—AJ isn’t accompanying Big Boob E to the ring. The match starts off with Sin Cara taking it to Big E but Big E knocks him down. Big E flings him into the ropes but Sin Cara takes him down and goes for the pin but Big E kicks out. Dolph Ziggler is shown watching the match in the back. Big E slams Sin Cara down. He goes for a side headlock and Sin Cara fights out. Big E goes to the outside and starts beating the shit out of Sin Cara. He puts Sin Cara in an abdominal stretch and grabs the ropes when the ref isn’t looking. When the ref catches him, he is forced to break the hold. Sin Cara is on the apron and starts kicking away at Big E. He goes for a high flying move and Big E catches him. Big E nails him with his finisher. Winner: Big E Langston.

Renee Young is interviewing Kaitlyn who has Layla with her. Renee asks her about her strategy for her match with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn, I like you but please for the love of all that is wrestling, keep your answers short and simple. Or at least rehearse your one liners ahead of time so you don’t appear incompetent. Layla starts talking and you can almost sense something is off with her. They hug it out.

Alberto Del Rio is in Vickie’s office and is bitching about her going back on her word about him being able to choose his opponent. Here comes Brad Maddox to interrupt. Maddox compliments her decision.

Fandango vs. CM Punk—Who told Fandango to raid the Disco Inferno’s closet? Is that the same person who allowed Summer Rae to dress like a Spice Girls reject? Fandungo starts prancing around and Punk starts kicking him. He scoops him up and slams him down. He starts chopping and punching away at Fandango before delivering a snap mare. Fandango reverses and takes Punk down. Punk kicks him in the midsection before delivering a high elbow. He goes for the pin but Fandingaling kicks out. Fandango trips Punk in the corner, he goes for the suplex but Punk lands on is feet. Punk goes for the GTS but Fandingo rolls out of the ring for a time out. Punk goes to the outside to get him back in the ring and Summer Rae starts screeching at him. I’m really hoping someone makes a mute button for her. Fandango throws Punk into the steel steps and gets back in the ring. Someone better tell her that she needs to stick to looking pretty at ringside and to kill her theatrics. Punk gets back in the ring and gets attacked by Fandango. Fanbitcho flings Punk into the corner while Critter girl looks on. Fandumbo takes Punk down again and starts punching away at Punk. He takes a moment to gloat before going for a chinlock. Punk powers to his feet and starts throwing knees and punches. Fandumbo kicks him in the head and goes for a pin but Punk kicks out. He goes for another chinlock but Punk powers out again. Punk starts throwing elbows and has Fandango in the corner and is slugging the prance. Fandango gets flung into the corner and kicks Punk. He goes for the pin but Punk kicks out. Fandango goes to the top rope and Punk moves out of the way when the dumbass comes flying from the top rope. Punk takes him down repeatedly. He goes for the pin but Fandingo kicks out. Punk delivers a high running knee and follows up with a high running knee. He goes to the top rope and Fandango rolls out again. He kicks Punk and suplexes him. He goes for the pin but Punk kicks out. Fandango goes to the top rope and Punk causes him to drop on the ropes. He joins Fandango on the ropes and goes for a superplex while Critter Chick screeches like an owl. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vise. Winner: CM PUNK

Renee Young interviews RVD when Christian interrupts. He compliments RVD and says that he deserves one more match. Before he could finish his sentence Orton interrupts and says he will not be complacent out there even though he has the MITB briefcase. He says that he has a welcome back gift to RVD in the form of an RKO. RVD says that he will be the winner tonight.  

AJ vs. Kaitlyn—this is for the Divas championship. Layla is accompanying Kaitlyn to the ring. We learn that Brad Maddox and Vickie G. have banned Big E from being ringside during AJ’s matches. The match starts off with AJ running and jumping on Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn catches her again and puts her in the corner. AJ rebounds and takes Kaitlyn down. She is wrapped around Kaitlyn and is trying to get her to tap out. Kaitlyn fights to her feet and backs AJ into the corner, AJ comes back with a kick to the head. She skips around the ring before kicking her again. Kaitlyn dropkicks her and goes for a backdrop. The fight goes to the outside of the ring and Kaitlyn tosses her into the barricade.  Layla stops her from attacking AJ and while Kaitlyn is distracted AJ attacks her. AJ tosses her in the ring and goes for the Black Widow. Winner: AJ.

I guess this is the only way for Layla to remain relevant. She was decent with LayCool. They skip off together while Kaitlyn cries again in the middle of the ring.

Randy Orton vs. RVD vs. Christian—the winner gets to face ADR at SummerSlam for the WHC. ADR comes out with a microphone in hand to warn the others that he will be in the back watching them beat each other up. He says that Ricardo could beat all of them. He says that the winner of this match will tap out to him. Granted while I think Ricardo has talent as a wrestler, I have to laugh hysterically at the thought of him beating anyone of those three men in the ring. Sorry Ricardo, ain’t nobody got time for that. The match starts off with a stare-down between the three men before Orton goes after Christian. He punches away at Christian until RVD attacks him, Christian attacks RVD before tossing Orton out on his ass. Christian and RVD are in the ring fighting it out until RVD knocks Christian down. Randy pulls RVD out of the ring and his evil little plan backfires as RVD attacks Orton. He leaves him draped over the barricade and flies off the apron to kick him. Christian spears him before a commercial break. Back from commercial and Christian and RVD are in the ring fighting it out. Christian delivers a tornado DDT and goes for the pin but RVD kicks out. Here comes Orton to pound away on Christian. Christian goes to the outside of the ring to slap Orton but Orton dodges. When Christian comes back in the ring, he is met with a Lou Thesz press by Orton. Marshmallow Fluff Orton takes a minute to regain his breath before attacking Christian who is on the top rope. Orton goes for a superplex, Orton goes for a pin but Christian kicks out. Christian tries to get going with his slow clap and gets taken down by RVD. Holy shit that kick RVD did to Orton was AWESOME. He scoops up Orton and slams him down. He goes for a moonsault and goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. Orton goes for the DDT from the second ropes on Christian, Captain Charisma counters and sends him flying over the top rope. He does the same for RVD. RVD takes down Christian and panders to the crowd. RVD launches himself at his two opponents and takes them both down. Back from commercials and Its down between Orton and Christian. RVD is outside the ring trying to get his breath back. Orton and Christian are slugging it out. Christian knocks RVD off of the apron and he calls for the spear on Orton. Orton dodges him and gets bitch slapped for his effort. Christian goes to the top rope and delivers a flying elbow to Orton. He goes for the Killswitch but RVD flies off the top rope and takes out Orton. Christian pins RVD but he kicks out. RVD takes down Christian and delivers a Five Star Frog Splash. He goes for the pin but Orton breaks it up. Orton has him in the corner and is pounding away on his face. Orton keeps taking him down with clotheslines but RVD regains control. He goes for the Rolling Thunder but Orton counters and powerslams him. Holy fucking shit that was amazing. Orton goes for the DDT from the second rope but RVD fights out. Orton delivers a standing dropkick to him which sends him flying off the apron. Orton nails Christian with the DDT from the second rope. Listen up Marshmallow Fluff Orton, I love you but stop pandering to the crowd. Use that time to take down Christian and stomp a hole in him. Orton goes to his psychotic place but RVD interrupts and gets an RKO for his troubles. Christian backslides Orton for the win. Winner: Christian

Orton shakes Christian’s hand and congratulates him for his victory. No dammit you are the Legend Killer, the Apex Predator, you don’t shake hands with your opponent. You’re supposed to make him think that’s what you want to do then you RKO them. GET YOUR BALLS BACK ORTON! Josh Matthews interviews Christian and here comes ADR To attack.

Match of the Night goes to Christian, RVD and Randy Orton. This match was action packed and amazing as hell. Spot of the night goes to Orton as he counters the Rolling Thunder with a powerslam.

The WTF moment goes to Layla. You will always be irrelevant sorry Sweetheart. I think the Bella Twins are more talented than you and that’s saying a lot. You will always have to be second best to whomever you tag with.

In closing, I thought Smackdown was okay. Not seeing the Shield makes me UNHAPPY. Kudos to Orton, Christian and RVD for one helluva match. I give tonight’s showing a B+. Hopefully RAW will be great too. Make sure you all check out We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!

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