Riley’s Corner: Smackdown Review For 6/21/13

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Riley’s Conrer

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment and match of SmackDown. Yes be warned I use curse words and an extremely snarky sense of humor. We are still dealing with the fallout from the Payback PPV and the results of RAW from Monday night. SmackDown is live from Dayton, OH and on commentary we have the talented Michael Cole and the bumbling dimwitted JBL.

Daniel Bryan comes out to address the match that he had with Orton and the abrupt stoppage of it. Look Scraggly Do, shave and I will take you seriously. He goes on to whine that in the 13 years of his career that he has never had a match stopped. So they stopped the match because they were concerned about your health. Dude, you are whining more than a chick on her period. GET THE FUCK OVER IT!! He claims the worst offender is Randy Orton. A recap is shown of their match, Randy Orton showed class and respect to you which he didn’t have to do. This is why I cannot take Daniel Bryan seriously as a wrestler, he whines more than Zack Ryder does. I think the words you are looking for is that Orton picked you up and patted you on the head like you are a little bitch. He goes on to say that he will fight Randy Orton tonight. I’m so thanking God that I elected not to go because yes, I would have thrown a damn shoe if I heard the matches were switched out. It should have been DB vs. Dean Ambrose. I don’t want to see Marshmallow Fluff Orton vs. Scraggly Do again. Sorry but that is what they are turning Orton out to be. Out comes Randy Orton to defend his honor. Orton says he did what he did was out of respect. Goat Boy needs a vacation. He says that he will take all this alleged respect and shove it down Orton’s throat. Dude you are three apples high compared to Orton so sit down and take a Midol. Orton says that he wants a fight, he will get it and he will be carried out.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes—Cody Rhodes is accompanied to the ring by his lucky caterpillar and his tag partner, Damien Sandow. The match starts off with Rhodes unloading on Sheamus. Sheamus bounces back and throws Cody into the corner and then slams him down. He goes for the pin but Rhodes kicks out. Rhodes gets a snapmare off of the top rope by Sheamus. Rhodes goes to the outside of the ring and uses the skirt of the apron to his advantage to take down Sheamus. Sandow is yelling at Sheamus to stay down. Sheamus gets in the ring and Rhodes starts stomping him. Sheamus is mounting a comeback by delivering brutal punches to Rhodes but Cody takes him down. Rhodes delivers a knee to the face. He goes for the pin but Sheamus kicks out. Rhodes is working the left shoulder of Sheamus. The Celtic Warrior powers to his feet and Cody rolls him up for the win but Sheamus powers out. Sheamus goes in to the ring over the top rope but Cody takes him down using his arm. Uh-oh the Celtic Warrior is owning Rhodes and his Lovestache. Sheamus kicks Damien Sandow and then sends Rhodes flying into his tag partner. Sheamus locks in the Cloverleaf. Winner: Sheamus Sandow attacks Sheamus while Cody lays there like a broken doll.

Another Wyatt family promo, I must say that the more promos I see of them the more I want them to debut already in the WWE. Stop dragging it out before we lose interest in them.

Curtis Axel w. Paul Heyman vs. Wade Barrett—the more I see Paul Heyman the more I see the resemblance to a Twinkie titted Walrus. The match is for the IC title. I still stand by the belief that you cannot polish a turd and expect it to shine. The Miz aka Mr. Motormouth is on commentary. The match starts off with a lockup and Barrett putting the Brawny Man wannabe into the corner. Axel gets in an offense but Barrett takes him down. Barrett is throwing elbows like crazy but here comes Axel mounting a comeback. Dear Michael Cole, we know how fucktard Axel got his name. So kindly shut the fuck up. Nice kick from Barrett but here comes Axel with punches. Barrett counters and goes for the pin but Axel kicks out. Barrett uses the ropes to choke the idiot but the referee breaks it up. Barrett delivers a big boot that sends the new IC champion to the floor. Barrett throws him in the ring but Barrett gets distracted by Motor Mouth. Barrett counters the Perfect Plex with a boot to the face. He goes for an elbow drop but misses. Curtis Axel hits the spinning neckbreaker. Winner: Curtis Axel Heyman points at the Miz and grins evilly. Miz gets in the ring and takes off his jacket and tie. Heyman holds his client back and ushers him out of the ring.

A recap of the Mark Henry segment from Monday night is played. The more I watch that segment, the more I admire Mark Henry for his acting abilities. Someone needs to submit him for an Academy Award for that. If anyone can take down the Boy Wonder that is John Cena, then it will be Mark Henry.

AJ vs. Natalya—AJ is accompanied by Big Boob E. The more they show the recaps of the action between AJ and Kaitlyn the more I am convinced that Kaitlyn should take acting lessons. AJ taunts Natalya and Natalya shoves the shrimp down not once but twice. Natalya takes her down with a snapmare and then follows it up with a dropkick to the back. She goes for the Sharpshooter but AJ is squirming like an earthworm. Natalya puts her in a submission move but AJ grabs the ropes. AJ slams Natalya into the turnbuckle and tries to position herself into the Black Widow. She goes for the pin but Natalya kicks out. Back from commercial and Natalya suplexes her. AJ kicks her but Natalya slams the little troll with a clothesline. Nattie goes for the pin but AJ kicks out. Natalya spins her around but AJ bites her. AJ locks in the Black Widow and Nattie taps. Winner: AJ Kaitlyn and Layla are watching from the back and here comes Aksana to taunt Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn tosses Aksana into the trash where the untalented ‘diva’ belongs. While her acting abilities need work, I believe that Kaitlyn is more talented than Aksana.

Jericho vs. ADR—ADR is accompanied to the ring by Ricardo Rodriguez. The match starts off with a lockup and ADR taking Jericho down. Jericho comes back with a standing dropkick. He chops ADR into the chest and follows up with some kicks. He uses the ropes to his advantage but the referee breaks it up. He goes for the pin but ADR kicks out. Jericho has him in the corner but ADR kicks him. ADR is trying to stomp the Canadian out of Jericho. Jericho tries to come back but ADR is owning him until ADR goes flying thru the ropes. Jericho uses a springboard dropkick to send ADR crashing into the barricade. He does another kick to send him crashing again. Jericho goes to the outside to hit him. He throws ADR into the ring and ADR kicks him. Back from commercial and Jericho is in the fight or at least he was until ADR sends him thru the ropes. ADR is delivering brutal kicks. He gets Jericho back into the ring and goes for the pin but Jericho kicks out. He goes to charge at Jericho who was in the corner but Jericho moves. Jericho is doing shoulder tackles and goes flying from the top rope. He is going for the Walls of Jericho but ADR counters. ADR kicks him in the head and goes for the pin but Jericho kicks out. He goes for another kick but Jericho dodges. Jericho hits him with a crossbody lateral press. He goes for the pin but ADR kicks out. Jericho hits the Lionsault. ADR kicks him in the midsection and goes for the Cross Arm breaker but Jericho rolls thru. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho but ADR counters with the Cross Arm Breaker but Jericho counters. Jericho has the Walls of Jericho locked in but Ricardo interferes. Jericho punishes him by putting his finisher on Ricardo. Dolph Ziggler comes out to attack Del Rio. Winner: ADR Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Dolphikins for interfering in his match. Dolph go touch up your roots. Del Rio gets in the ring and kicks Dolphypoo in the head. That’s what happens when you mess with the bull.

Christian vs. Drew McIntyre—the former Chosen One is accompanied by his fellow Spice Girl wannabe bandmates. Christian sends Drew flying thru the ropes. He does a slide and takes down Drew again. Both men are in the ring trading blows until Christian does a drop toe hold and slaps Drew. Drew slams him down and goes for the pin but Christian kicks out. JBL, I suggest you quit drinking and smoking with Jack Swagger before each show. 3MB are not talented wrestlers, they are talentless jobbers. Drew goes to attack Christian but Christian takes him down. Slater goes to interfere but gets his David Caruso glasses slapped off of him. Christian hits the Killswitch. Winner: Christian Christian gets on the microphone to say that he is happy to be back. Here comes the Shield and my inner fangirl. They surround the ring and Christian holy shit my boys are taking him down. Welcome back Captain Charisma but this is the Shield’s yard now. They triple power bomb him to let him know who is in charge.

Renee Young is interviewing Paul Heyman. The Walrus Fucker is being condescending to her as she tries to ask him about his relationship with Paul Heyman. He turns the tables on her as he asks her personal questions. Dude, please just shave your head now. Your hair is trying to escape you. But you still have a better hairline than Lebron James.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan—the match starts off with DB unleashing on the Marshmallow Viper. Orton is giving as good as he gets. He delivers an uppercut and starts stomping away on DB. Orton head-butts him repeatedly but DB starts beating the baby oil off of Orton. Orton suplexes him and starts stomping away on him. Orton learn some new moves okay Sweets? DB comes back with a series of kicks before bending Orton’s leg. Orton counters with a side headlock. DB powers to his feet and picks Orton up by his leg and slam him down. He goes for the No Lock but Orton counters. Orton picks DB up and slams him on the top rope. He tries to suplex DB over the top rope but DB counters. HOLY SHIT ORTON DID IT!!!! Back from commercial and DB is slugging away on Orton but Orton delivers a standing dropkick. He goes for the pin but DB kicks out. Orton places DB on the top turnbuckle and goes for a superplex but DB is holding steady. DB head-butts him which knocks Orton down. DB connects with a missile dropkick. Both men are down and the referee is counting both men down until both men get up. DB does another dropkick on Orton and goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. HOLY BABY OIL that powerslam looked brutal as fuck. Orton goes for the pin but DB kicks out. Randy helps him up then uppercuts him but DB does a backslide pin which Orton counters. DB keeps kicking him until Orton falls over. He goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. DB goes to the top rope but Orton counters and sends DB and his little goaticles crashing into the top turnbuckle. Orton superplexes him and goes for the pin but DB kicks out. Orton goes for the DDT from the second rope and connects DB’s scraggly face into the mat. Orton goes to his psychotic and happy place but DB rolls out of the ring. Orton drops DB back first onto the barricade. DB shoves Orton into the barricade and does the flying goat. DB does a suicide dive into Orton. Both men are down and the referee is doing a countout. Winner: DB Bryan does not want a countout victory and demands that the referee restart the match. The referee does not do anything.

Match of the night goes to Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan. Even though I was hoping for Ambrose and Bryan it was still a decent match. I did not like the finish of the match but what can you do?

The WTF moment once again goes to JBL being on commentary. The man is about as entertaining as a root canal. He fucking sucks on the microphone. Please, please and I am begging you to get rid of him on commentary.

In closing I thought SmackDown could have been so much better. The Shield needed a match and not just a quick beatdown on Christian. I give tonight’s show a B-. Make sure you all check out We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow.


About John Mayer

31 year old wrestling fan and writer
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