With Riley Ross
Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I will break down each segment and match on RAW. This is the go home shows before the Payback PPV on Sunday. On commentary tonight we have the talented duo of Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. They are unfortunately joined by JBL. I’m sorry but every time JBL speaks I want to smack him until he either learns to be quiet or he quits.
Triple H is kicking off tonight’s RAW. He is defying his father in laws wishes as he is going to compete tonight.
Triple H vs. Curtis Axel—Axel is accompanied to the ring by the bald headed monkey fucker, Paul Heyman. The crowd is on fire for Triple H. The match starts with Triple H unloading on Axel. Holy shit Triple H is dominating but here comes Vince McMahon. Holy shit who dresses Mr. McMahon, the person who does Barney’s costumes? Axel is thrown to the mat. Vince McMahon has Curtis Axel declared the winner via DQ. Triple H has the match restarted. It kicks off again with Trips putting Axel in a side headlock. Here comes Vince strutting out to the ringside and he goes over to Justin Roberts and tells him to ring the bell. Curtis Axel wins via forfeit. Triple H has the match restarted once more. It is now restarted as 60 minute Iron Man match. Here comes Vince strutting once more and he gets on the microphone. He tells Axel to leave the ring immediately. He steals the fucking ring bell and the microphone. What in the fuck is this shit? Winner: Curtis Axel
Triple H is yelling at Stephanie for the actions of her father. She is pleading for Triple to calm down and not to hurt him. He tells her to talk to Vince.
Kane vs. Dean Ambrose—the match starts off with Ambrose punching Kane before Kane delivers a big boot to the face. Kane follows up with a drop kick to the face. He puts Ambrose in the corner before Ambrose reverses it. Kane catches him and delivers a backbreaker to him. Kane follows up with a knee to the back of the US champion Ambrose. He Irish whips Dean into the corner and delivers another backbreaker to Dean. He is stretching Ambrose but Ambrose powers out and delivers a head-butt. Dean goes flying thru the ropes and Kane takes the fight to the outside of the ring. He is dominating Ambrose. Back from commercial and Ambrose is in control of the match. Kane is fighting back but Ambrose delivers a drop kick to Kane. Ambrose stomps Kane while taunting him. Kane slams Ambrose to the mat and while he is catching his breath, he is allowing Ambrose to formulate a new plan. Kane is whipping Ambrose’s ass all over the place. Kane slams Ambrose down and goes for the pin but Ambrose kicks out. Kane flies off the top rope and is calling for the chokeslam but Ambrose rolls out of the ring. The Shield comes out to help Ambrose. Here comes Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan to even the numbers. Winner: Kane by DQ
Randy Orton, Kane and Daniel Bryan are arguing once again. Kane is trying to be the voice of reason but Vickie G. and Brad Maddox interrupt. Vickie announces that Randy Orton and DB will be fighting for the Tag titles at Payback. We learn that Kane gets a title shot against Dean Ambrose at Payback. He hugs Vickie G which causes her to run off.
Miz vs. Cody Rhodes—Wade Barrett is commentary. We learn that Fandango will not be able to compete at Payback due to an injury. Cody is trying to get an offense in but Miz is making him his bitch. Holy shit the Miz is on fire. Finally Cody gets smart as Miz flies off the top rope, he moves out of the way. He goes for the pin but the Miz kicks out. Cody is working the left knee of the Miz. Somehow Miz counters and locks in the figure four leglock. Winner: Miz
Paul Heyman comes out to announce that Vickie G. has placed Curtis Axel in the triple threat match for the IC title. Oh yay!! (SARCASM). Brawny man gets on the microphone and lulls the crowd into a deep sleep.
Stephanie is talking to her dad. She is trying to lecture him but he isn’t having it. He blames Trips for making her cry. She then turns the table on him by blaming him. They get nowhere with this conversation.
Jericho vs. Big E Langton—Yay Dolph Ziggler is back. He isn’t able to compete yet but he is letting people know that you shouldn’t count him out yet. Jericho tries to challenge him to a fight but Dolph volunteers Big E. Back from commercial and the match is underway with the fight being outside the ring. Big E clobbers Jericho and is beating him into the ring. Big E is working the back of Jericho before trying to twist his neck off. Jericho works on powering out. He goes to charge at Jericho who is resting near the ropes, Jericho ducks and sends Big E flying out. He kicks Big E. Big E is slamming Jericho like a rag doll. He goes for the pin but Jericho kicks out. Big E is flinging Jericho like a rag doll. Jericho goes for the pin but Big E kicks out. Big E then goes for the pin but Jericho kicks out. He works on trying to twist Jericho’s head off before punching the shit out of him. Jericho is getting in some offense and following it up with dropkicks. He goes for the pin but Big E kicks out. He goes to fly at Big E but Big Boob E catches him and delivers a series of punishing backbreakers to him. He goes for the pin but Jericho kicks out. Jericho to the tope rope and hits him with a cross body. He goes for the pin but Big E kicks out. Dolph gets on the apron to distract Jericho. Big E nails him. ADR hits Dolph Ziggler and Jericho nails him with the Code Breaker. Winner: Chris Jericho
Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro—Zeb Colter is out there on commentary. Cesaro is quick to take down Sin Botcha before flinging him over the top rope. Sin Botcha seems off of his game tonight. The more Zeb Colter talks the more I want to stab my eardrums. Cesaro goes for a pin but Sin Cara kicks out. He delivers a double foot stomp to Sin Cara. He follows up with a side headlock to him. Sin Cara is trying to mount a comeback and he goes for a quick pin but Cesaro kicks out. He kicks Cesaro in the side of the head. He flies off the top rope and gets caught by Cesaro. He nails Sin Cara with a Neutralizer. Winner: Cesaro
The more I see the promos for the Wyatt family, the more anxious I am to see them in the WWE. So haters before you write them off, sit back and shut the fuck up. Give it a chance or find something else do with your time. You are almost as bad as the bitches who keep trying to tell others what to say on their social media outlets.
Vickie G. and Brad Maddox are shown eating backstage. Brad is trying to warn her that Vince is behind her. He tears into her verbally and you almost feel bad for her. Brad saves her ass by suggesting a great idea to Vince McMahon.
Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns—Daniel Bryan has accompanied Randy Orton to the ring. Seth Rollins is showing support for his tag partner. The match starts off with Reigns driving his knee into the gut of Orton. He has Orton in the corner but Orton reverses it and is mounting a comeback. He goes for the pin but Reigns kicks out. Orton starts stomping on Reigns. He goes for another pin but Reigns kicks out. The fight goes to the outside and Orton drops Reigns off the barricade spine first. He then helps Reigns into the ring and goes for the pin again but Reigns kicks out. He goes to knee drop Reigns but Reigns moves out of the way. Reigns stands on Orton before head-butting him. Head-butt after head-butt Reigns seems to be having fun. Orton comes back with a Lou Thesz press and is punching Reigns. He then headbutts him repeatedly. Reigns flings him into the corner but Orton kicks him. Reigns superman punches Orton off the ropes. Back from commercial and Reigns is still in control of the match. Reigns goes for the pin but Orton kicks out. Orton is caught in a headlock and he powers out. He somehow slams Reigns down to the mat. Reigns goes to charge at him but Orton moves out of the way. He power slams Reigns down. He does the back breaker on Reigns. He goes for the DDT from the second rope and nails it. He goes to his dark place and pounds the mat. Here comes Seth Rollins to save his partner. Here comes Daniel Bryan to even up the numbers. Winner: NO CONTEST
Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan—This match starts immediately following the declaration of no contest. Daniel Bryan is taking his aggression out on Seth Rollins as he delivers a series of punishing kicks. He goes for the pin but Rollins kicks out. Daniel Bryan goes to put Rollins in the surfboard but Rollins grabs the ropes and hangs on for dear life. Rollins goes out the ring and DB follows him. Rollins is mounting a comeback as he delivers shoulder tackles to DB’s midsection. Rollins goes surfing using DB as the surfboard. DB counters out and starts kicking Rollins. He reverses it and has him in two mother fucking submission moves. Rollins fights out. Back from commercial and DB is fighting his way out of a hold. Rollins goes for a pin but DB kicks out. Both men are trading blows and then Rollins goes for a roundhouse kick but gets caught by DB. DB puts him in a half crab submission move but Rollins grabs the ropes. He goes for the pin but Rollins kicks out. Holy shit this is heading to my match of the night. Rollins is kicking DB. DB sends Rollins flying over the top rope, he goes to follow but Rollins counters. Both men are putting their all into this match. Reigns is getting ready to interfere but Orton stops him. DB rolls up Rollins into a pin. Winner: Daniel Bryan
Kaitlyn is getting ready to meet her secret admirer. I will be so glad that this is nearly over. Kaitlyn is a better wrestler than she is an actress. Here comes Big E dressed up and flowers in hand. This is awkward to watch and listen to. He gets on the microphone and expresses that he has feelings too. He grabs her and dips her. Before he drops her on her ass, here comes AJ to reveal that she is the secret admirer. She did it to hurt Kaitlyn because allegedly Kaitlyn abandoned her. The catfight starts and clearly Kaitlyn is the victor of this round.
Sandow vs. R-Truth—Shouldn’t someone save that hamburger from Jerry Lawler? The match starts off with a side headlock from Truth and he thrusts his pelvis in Sandow’s direction. Now, now Truth you shouldn’t do that to Sandow. The fight goes to the outside of the ring and Sandow is chopping the crap out of Truth’s chest. He does a snapmare and follows it up with a knee to the back. He is working on Truth’s neck but Truth fights his way to his feet. Sandow delivers the Elbow of Disdain before locking in the headlock again. Truth fights his way out and kicks Sandow. He delivers a hurricanranna and drops Sandow. He goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Sandow tackles him going for the knee and he slams Truth down. Winner: Damien Sandow Here comes Sheamus to taunt him on the microphone.
Stephanie sends two interns to fetch her father and her husband to her office. Shit about go down as the lovely Stephanie has a devious smirk on her beautiful face.
Here comes the lumberjacks and holy fucking catnip, I see Ted DiBiase on my TV screen. Fangirling so hard, I think I might pass out. They are out to make sure that the confrontation between Cena and Ryshrek doesn’t get out of control. Back from commercial and the action is in Stephanie’s office. Trips and Vince are arguing like little kids and she bellows for them to work it out. After much bickering, Vince concedes and gives him the match with Curtis Axel. Trips says he doesn’t want the match. Stephanie tries to get them to hug it out. They hug it out but nothing has been resolved.
Back to the ring and the lumberjacks are out to enforce the face to face meeting. I saw Ted DiBiase Jr. on my TV screen. YEEHAW BITCHES!! Also someone should tell Drew McIntyre that it is not okay to dress like you are cop from the TV show Miami Vice. Now that I got the giggling under control, I should be okay to continue. Ryshrek apparently is confused as he is walking backwards up the ramp and not to the ring. Maybe the people scared him as he is used to being chased by people with pitchforks. Ryshrek, if that light bulb went out that means the hamster in your head died. Please replace it immediately. OMG their bickering sucks almost as much as their in ring abilities. Why don’t you two just kiss and get it over with? Seriously everytime they talk, I hear wah, wah, wah. Sounds like a bunch of broken promises of a match that does not live up to its hype. Oh shit Cena mad now, he is stripping before lunging outside the ring. The Lumberjacks keep him in the ring and here comes Ryshrek. All hell has broken loose. Seriously watching two middle school girls fight is more entertaining than these two.
Match of the night: This goes to Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan. A fantastic action packed match between the two men.
WTF moment goes to the John Cena and Ryshrek confrontation. Need I say more.
In closing tonight was a decent show. I really enjoyed the Shield and seeing Ted DiBiase on my TV screen. I give the show a B+. Make sure you all check out http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-shark-attack-live. We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow!