Riley’s Corner: WWE Smackdown Review for 04-05-13


Riley Corner’s

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner. Tonight is the final show before WrestleMania 29. It’s the go home show. Wooooo! I am super excited for Grandest Pay per view ever! On commentary tonight we have Jerry Lawler and Josh Matthews. Thank you wrestling gods I can deal with these two.

Here comes Ryback to open the show. I wonder which member of the job squad will be fed to him tonight. A recap of Mark Henry trying to kill Ryback last week is shown.

Ryback vs. Primo and Epico—They are accompanied to the ring by Rosa. Primo starts it off and he gets caught midair by Ryback and gets slammed down. Epico gets tagged in and Ryback graciously helps him into the ring. Ryback is owning their asses. Oh my Primo and Epico are getting in some offense while Rosa shimmies ringside. Bitch please. You should take dance lessons from Fandingaling. Ryback slams Epico down and here comes Primo. Ryback is throwing him around like a rag doll. He spears both of them and delivers the Shellshocked to them both at the same time. Holy fuck that is impressive.

Michael Cole and JBL are showing clips of AXXESS. A recap of the Triple H and Brock Lesnar feud is shown and I can honestly say that I am looking forward to this match. I want Trips to destroy Brock Lesnar. Triple H needs to use Sledgy and beat Lesnar until he curls up in a little ball crying for his mommy oh oops I mean his wife. Brock “Pussy Ass Bitch” Lesnar brings nothing to the table except for maybe promoting dental care for kids. Just take your whiney ass back to the farm Brock but before you go can you explain why your eyebrows disappear. I hate Lesnar because he doesn’t give a shit about the fans he only cares about the money. He professes to be an ass kicker but yet has a limited schedule. If your health is that bad then maybe you should stay at home and learn how to knit.

A video package of Bruno Sammartino’s wrestling career is shown. He truly deserves to be in the WWE Hall of Fame and I am glad that they worked out their issues so this could happen.

Fandango gets his own video package. OMG since he has JBL’s seal of approval, he probably will not last in the WWE. Sorry Fawndawngoh. Granted Johnny Curtis is a talented wrestler but this gimmick is stupid and lame. Remember Disco Inferno? Yeah thought so. Least they are building up the feud between Jericho and Faaaaandaaaaaaangoooooooooo. I think from now on I am just going to call him Captain Sparklypants.

The Shield’s video package is shown and oh my yes I believe in the Shield. They have what it takes to be the faces of the WWE. They can cut a promo and they can fucking wrestle. I’m sure that they all know more than five moves of Doom unlike a certain superstar who shall not be named.

I know that loudmouthed fucktard did not just insult JR. Be a star you fucking false teeth wearing inbred jed. Who the fuck are you to be knocking JR? You ain’t shit that’s who you fucking douchelord. Go back to kissing Michael Cole’s ass you worthless piece of garbage.

A video package of the Shield’s upcoming match with Randy Orton, Sheamus and Big Show is shown. I really hope that Orton turns heel and joins forces with the Shield. Orton is a great wrestler but he really shines as a heel. The more they show the recap of Orton/Sheamus/Show running them off the more I think the Shield needs this win more than anything.

Tons of Funk vs. Team Rhodes Scholars—How fucking stupid of those two Bella Twats to make fun of Cameron and Naomi. Are y’all jealous that they are more talented and prettier than your skanky asses? Aren’t y’all famous for having superstar boyfriends? Cameron and Naomi take out the Bella Twats and Brodus and Sweet T clear the ring.

A recap of the WrestleMania press conference is shown. Vince McMahon gives us a history lesson from the very first WM to this year’s event.

They show the recap of the CM Punk/Undertaker feud. The more I see the recaps the more I want the Undertaker to win. Not because of the disrespect storyline but I don’t think the streak should ever end. That is his legacy and no one else can touch it.

Are they paying JBL for every insult that he hurls at JR? Trick please shut your ignorant mouth. JR knows more about wrestling than you can ever dream of knowing. So go glue your mouth shut and learn some respect for the man that probably mentored your dumbass. So JBL go get stuck on a mountain and take Michael Cole with you. I would rather listen to Josh Matthews than you two ignoramuses.

A video package of Donald Trump’s induction into the WWE Hall of Fame is shown. YAY!!! (Sarcasm). In my opinion I don’t think he deserves it but whatever.

Oh my gawd (Joey Styles voice) we get another look at the Rock/Cena feud. Please for the love of my sanity or what’s left of it lets not recap it and say we did. Why are we being punished? We get it the Rock and Cena hate one another. At this stage of the game I am beginning to hate them both. I would rather listen to my sister in law bitch about her life than to see another recap between the two. I hope the Rock curb stomps the whiney little bitch. Cena doesn’t deserve being champion again. I respect what he does for the charities but I cannot stand his stale motherfucking stank ass. He needs to take time off and learn some new fucking moves. Cena reminds me of Elmer Fudd as he keeps getting foiled by that Wasacally Wabbit The Wock. Your time is up Cena and it’s been up for a while. I think it was up the day you debuted you irritating dickhead. Go back to being the stunt double for Mr. Ed.

Renee Young is interviewing Albert Del Rio. She shows a recap of how Swagger attacked him on Monday night. I really hope that Del Rio retains his title as Swagger doesn’t deserve the push he has been given. If I was in charge of the WWE Swagger would be the first one future endeavored. Colter would be the second.

Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston—Match starts off with a lockup and Swagger seems to be in control. The crowd is cheering for Kofi. C’mon Kofi and take Swagger down. Back from commercial and Swagger is dominating but Kofi shows why you should never count him out as he counters Swagger. Colter gets on the apron to distract Kofi. Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock for the win.

In closing the show was mediocre at best. I mean it was good for the people that are just now tuning in so they will know what’s going on at Mania but again I digress. I give it an F for all the bullshit that came out of JBL’s ignorant mouth. He should have a personality transplant with a llama. Might improve the ratings of SmackDown. Make sure you all check out  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Also there will be a very special edition after WrestleMania at 8 PST.  Have a good night and a better tomorrow.

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