Riley’s Corner: WWE Smackdown Review for 03-08-13

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner. Tonight I will be covering SmackDown. The wrestling family lost a member this week when William Moody aka “Paul Bearer” died. My sincerest condolences and prayers to his family and friends for their tragic loss.

SmackDown is live in Albany, New York. To kick off the show here comes Jack Swagger and his manager, Zeb Colter. Jack Swagger is on the microphone and he is coming across as ‘Mr. No Personality’. Zeb Colter gets on the microphone and starts in on his ‘tirade’. WrestleMania 29 needs to hurry up and get here so this storyline can end. Here comes our champion and savior Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez to save us all from this travesty of a promo. They did a spoof of their opponents and holy catnip, it’s the most hilarious spoof ever. Best line ever ‘you cannot even rule the world when you cannot leave the bathroom’. Oh Ricardo and ADR, you made me love you with this spoof. I take back every cruel word, I ever uttered about you ADR. You do have charisma and personality.

3MB vs. Team Hell No—However, I do stand by everything I have ever written about 3MB. You still suck. Kane and Drew McIntyre lock it up. After getting knocked around for a bit, Drew leaves and tags in Heath Slater. Here comes Daniel Bryan to dominate the jobber. The only way 3MB can get the job done is if they cheat. Kane is making Slater his little bitch. Slater off of the top ropes and Kane swats him down like an annoying fly. Daniel Bryan tags himself into the match and rolls Slater into the Yes Lock. He scores the victory via submission.

Matt Striker is in the back interviewing Dolph Ziggler. Of course he is accompanied by his bodyguards AJ Lee and Big E. Langston. He ends the interview with a kiss to AJ. Sorry but not really I am kind of sick of seeing them.

Ryback and Mark Henry have another stare down. Just go ahead and book them for WrestleMania 29. Hall of Pain vs. Feed me More in a steel cage match on the grandest stage of all.

Brad Maddox has joined Michael Cole and Josh Matthews on commentary. Ewwwwww! Just leave it as Michael Cole and Josh Matthews please. I can’t stand Brad Maddox. A recap of Triple H calling out Brock Lesnar from Monday night is shown. It is then announced that Brock Lesnar and his mouthpiece, Paul Heyman will respond on RAW.

Damien Sandow vs. Ryback—The two men lock it up in the middle of the ring and Ryback quickly backs Sandow into the corner. He is showing his brute strength as he slams Sandow around. After a few brief moments outside the ring, Sandow comes back with a renewed vigor. He gains the momentum of the match and is dominating Ryback. The crowd is behind Ryback as they chant ‘feed me more’. He turns the match around in his favor and takes Sandow down with a Meat Hook Clothesline. He delivers Shell Shocked for the win.

Matt Striker is shown interviewing the Big Crybaby, umm I mean Big Show. He talks about the attack the Shield attacking the Big Show. He says that Orton and Sheamus are responsible for what happened on Monday night RAW. He says that he will knock everyone out. All together now let’s roll our eyes in a sarcastic moment for him.

ADR vs. Dolph Ziggler—Ricardo Rodriguez is in ADR’s corner. AJ and Big E. are in Dolph’s corner. If Ziggler cannot win a match on his own, then maybe he doesn’t deserve the MITB briefcase.  Big E interferes in the match and Ricardo throws a towel in his face. He then chases Ricardo until AJ stops him. Ricardo then tosses a bucketful of water on Big E, but he moves and AJ gets the brunt of it. She then chases him around the ring but Big E intercepts her. Her actions get them ejected from ringside. Back from commercial and the match is still going on between Ziggler and ADR. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are shown watching the match from the back. ADR shows that he is back in the fight as he delivers a few kicks to Ziggler. That suplex from the ropes was brutal.  They are now up and trading blows in the middle of the ring. ADR has the Cross Arm Breaker locked in and wins via submission.

AJ is in the back and here comes Daniel Bryan to ask what has happened to her. They reference their botched wedding. Here comes the references to 18 seconds. Pure comedic gold from them both.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Mark Henry—Yay it’s Yoshi!!! Dude run like hell. Yoshi is on the receiving end of the World’s Strongest Slams. Mark Henry wins again in a series of squash matches.

Matt Striker is talking to Sheamus and tells him that Big Show blames him for the Shield attacking him. There was a Shrek reference and toilet jokes in there. Sorry but we have seen this Sheamus vs. Big Show match about 3 million times now.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina– Layla is in Kaitlyn’s corner. Kaitlyn is showing everyone why she is the Diva’s champ as she dominates Tamina. Cody Rhodes is shown watching the match from backstage. Kaitlyn hits the rope face first. Layla distracts Kaitlyn as they both get in the ring at the same time. Tamina uses this to her advantage as she scoops up Kaitlyn and does the Samoan Drop on her.  Tamina gets the win. Cody Rhodes is shown still watching the match as Damien Sandow joins his former tag team partner.  I sense a Cody/Kaitlyn pairing in our future.

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango—This gimmick of his sucks donkey balls. Johnny Curtis can wrestle, he doesn’t need the shiny sequined pants to get over. He refuses to wrestle because the announcers cannot pronounce his name correctly.

Teddy Long and Booker T are shown bitching about Fandango. Booker T tells Teddy to go tell Fandango that the next time he has a match he better fight. A recap of the fatal fourway match from RAW is shown to see who will battle the Undertaker. Its CM Punk who vows to end the streak.

Sheamus vs. Big Show—The match is underway and Big Show is delivering headbutt after headbutt to Sheamus. He speared Sheamus. OMG if at all possible I think he nearly killed him. Sheamus gains momentum and takes Show Clubbering. Show then throws Sheamus to the floor. Don’t know what Sheamus was trying to do but holy fuck that ended badly for him. As Show dropped him like a hot potato. He goes for the pin but the Celtic Warrior kicks out at 2. Those chops Show delivered sounded painful as hell. At least it added a pop of color to Sheamus’ chest. Sheamus fights back with a series of headbutts. He goes to the top rope and gets caught by Big Show. Here comes the Shield to stand at ringside. Here comes Orton to back up his newly minted BFF Sheamus. Sheamus and Orton take down the Big Show and sadly this is when my cable cut out on me.

In closing tonight’s show of Smackdown sucked ass. It gets the rating I feel it deserves and that is an F. Sorry but it seems like they are just throwing together random ass matches together. However the saving grace was we didn’t have to hear John Cena and his big ass mouth. Make sure you all check out http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-shark-attack-live.  We’ll be airing Tuesday at 10pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Also on March 19 there will be the interview with Mike Bennett.  Have a good night and a better tomorrow.

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