Riley’s Corner: WWE Raw Review for 02-11-13


Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I breakdown each segment of RAW. Tonight we are live from Nashville, Tennessee. We have the talented duo of Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler on commentary tonight. This week is the go home shows before the Elimination Chamber on Sunday.

Paul Heyman is in the ring to kick off the show. The crowd cheers when he says that he is leaving; he goes on to say that he made a lot of sacrifices to bring us ECW. He mentions CM Punk and Brock Lesnar. He is tendering his resignation to keep harm from coming to Punk. Wrap it up Turkey Tits, I want to watch wrestling not you talking the whole three hours. During the end of his little speech, I swear I heard ‘I Will Always Love You’ playing by Whitney Houston. Here comes CM Punk to beg his mentor not to go. Heyman is insisting that he is innocent about the Brad Maddox, Shield and Brock Lesnar controversies. Punk is swearing that he will win against the Rock at Elimination Chamber. Paul goes on to say that he is right and he will be there. I sense something bad is going to happen. So apparently Heyman isn’t going to resign.

Mark Henry vs. Khali—Khali is accompanied to the ring by Natalya and Hornswoggle. We learn that Rey Mysterio has been eliminated from his spot in the EC. Henry delivers a weak looking clothesline to Khali before delivering the World’s Strongest Slam to his opponent. Mark Henry wins. Mark Henry gets back in the ring and delivers a brutal World’s Strongest Slam to Hornswoggle.

Booker T and Teddy Long are talking about the upcoming EC PPV. Jericho says that he should be in the chamber. Teddy Long surprisingly agrees with Chris Jericho. Teddy Long whispers something to Booker T. Chris Jericho gets a match with Daniel Bryan and if he wins he goes to EC. Vickie G. is in her office when Heyman comes barreling in. He is demanding that she adds a stipulation to the championship match on Sunday. Mr. McMahon calls in and Heyman starts apologizing to him for the actions of Brock Lesnar. Heyman wants the title to go back to Punk if the Rock gets counted out or gets disqualified.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho—Jericho goes for a quick rollup. Daniel Bryan is now in charge of the match as he delivers a knee to the face. Back from commercial and DB goes for a quick pin but Jericho kicks out. Y2J gains momentum with his smooth moves and the crowd starts chanting YES while DB freaks out.  Nice elbow to the throat to DB. Too bad it didn’t stop DB. DB delivers a flying headbutt and goes for a pin but Jericho kicks out again. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho and DB has countered. That was a holy shit moment. He tries to lock in the No lock but fails, he kicks Jericho in the face and goes for another pin. Jericho once again kicks out. This is match of the night material right here. As JR would say this is a ‘slobberknocker’.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the win. Jericho is going to the Elimination Chamber.

3MB vs. Sheamus/Ryback/Super Cena—Rest in peace to the WWE careers of Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal. Super Cena will bury your ass faster than Zack Ryder’s song ‘Hoeski’ will song fuck you. Slater and Ryback start it off.  Slater gets a kick to the midsection and then Ryback lifts him up and drops him to the mat. Here comes Sheamus and Drew McIntyre, these two should just fight for the duration of the match. After taking McIntyre Clubbering here comes Super Cena to face Mahal. A brawl breaks out and Team Sheamus do all their finishers in sync with one another and Cena gets the win. Is it in his contract that he gets to win all the time? Ryback  has the mic after the match and says he looks forward to facing the Shield Sunday. Fuck John Cena, he ain’t shit. He only knows five moves and is incapable of learning another move. I’m tired of talent not getting pushed because of this overbearing ego maniacal douche nozzle.

Alex Riley and Yoshi Tatsu were shown making fun of the Big Show and they get knocked out for their efforts. Big Show, my grandmother (Rest in Peace) can throw a better punch than you. Here comes Big Show and boy does he look pissed off. Before Matt Striker could finish his question, he falls victim to the KO punch. For once he didn’t talk just glared and looked like he was holding in a fart. After a few minutes (seemed like years) of silence and walked off

Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger—Jack Swagger is accompanied to the ring by Zeb Coulter aka Dutch Mantell (sp). Swagger dominated the fuck out of Ryder. Ryder taps when Swagger locks in the Patriot Act. He introduces his man that accompanied him to the ring and then the man gets on the microphone. That rant seemed kind of racist and I don’t tolerate that. Booker T and Jack Swagger say that Swagger has a spot in the Elimination Chamber. Here comes Dolph Ziggler, AJ and Big E to bitch and moan about it. Booker T makes a match between Ziggler and Kane for later tonight.

Miz vs. Cody Rhodes—Antonio Cesaro is on commentary. Rhodes is taking it to the Miz. C’mon Miz lets go and kick some ass. Rhodes delivers a knee to the head of the Miz. My man the Miz gains momentum and quickly dominates Rhodes. Cesaro tried to stick his bald head where it doesn’t belong and got a boot to the face. He goes after the Miz and now I’m pissed. If he is hurt I’m coming after your mother fucking douche bag ass. I will make Armageddon look like a day at an amusement park.

Primo/Epico vs. Tensai/Brodus Clay—Cameron and Naomi escort Tensai and Clay to the ring. Tensai and Primo start it off. Primo is on the receiving end of a double team headbutt. Epico gets the tag and is quickly decimated by Brodus Clay. As they start dancing here comes Rosa to get in their faces but my girls Cameron and Naomi quickly kick that troll to the curb.

Here comes the Shield; as usual they are making their way thru the crowd. Ambrose is magic on the microphone. Holy hell Reigns is sexy when he yells. They are saying they don’t need to threaten with words but that their actions speak for them. Shit they are taking it to Cena verbally. I agree with everything they have said about Cena. They keep calling Cena, Sheamus and Ryback out and nothing so far. The lights go out and when they come back on Team Super Cena is fighting. Seriously I’m fucking sick of Cena. He ain’t shit and I could name at least ten other guys who can out wrestle his punk ass.

Damien Sandow vs. ADR—Sandow goes on a rant about country music. After the first ten seconds all I could hear was blah, blah, blah. ADR delivers a brutal but beautiful kick to the jaw. He goes for the pin but Sandow kicks out. Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker and Sandow taps out quickly. Del Rio gets on the microphone and taunts Big Show. He says the promo that Big Show cut was the best ever because he didn’t speak.

Wade Barrett was making his way to the ring but Bo Dallas attacks him from behind. After the referees break it up, Wade Barrett is down on the ground apparently injured.

Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston—Barrett seems kind of upset but then again I would be too if I got jumped by Bo Dallas. Barrett is taking his aggression out on Kofi. Kofi delivered a beautifully executed drop kick. Kofi Kingston is a supremely talented wrestler. Barrett delivers the Winds of Change and goes for the Bull Hammer. He misses and Kofi goes to counter with Trouble in Paradise. Wade uses the apron as a weapon and defeats Kofi. Barrett is yelling for Bo Dallas.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler—If Kane wins, he will earn a spot in the Elimination Chamber, if Ziggler wins he will earn the coveted spot. AJ and Dolph had to share a kiss at the top of the ramp before continuing their way down to the ramp. Big E and AJ are looking on as Dolph and Kane lock it up. Kane is taking it to Ziggler before the blonde noodle head runs out of the ring. Kane delivers a right hand that knocks Ziggler out of the ring. Kane gets knocked into the barricade by Ziggler. Ziggler is going for the sleeper hold and Kane drops him. Ziggler hits the Zigg Zag and goes for the pin but Kane kicks out. Kane goes to the top rope but AJ tries to distract him. Ziggler gets flung into her but Big E catches her. While Dolph was checking on her and Kane took advantage of this by delivering a sweet Chokeslam. Kane gets the win. Kane earns the last available spot in the Elimination Chamber.

FINALLY the Rock is out to close the show!!!!!!!!! Nashville has gone crazy for the Rock!! Story time with the Rock. After a long story, here comes CM Punk and Paul Heyman. He tells them to bring the stipulation and whatever else they want at him. Punk and Heyman make their way to down to the ring but stop halfway. Punk feints a run for it and runs into the ring. Punk and Rock are fighting. Punk gets Rockbottomed and Heyman trips the Rock. Punk delivers a GTS. Punk steals the title and walks off. The show ends with Punk posing with the title while the Rock struggles to get to his feet.

In closing the show was decent. Match of the night belongs to Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho. My WTF moment goes to Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger. Cesaro needs to sit down and shut the hell up. I’m honestly confused about the Swagger/Coulter pairing. I give the show a B+. Have a good night and a better tomorrow.

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