With Riley Ross
Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down each segment of RAW. Tonight they are live from Atlanta, Georgia. Hopefully tonight’s show will be better than last week’s episode. Tonight on commentary we have Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole. They are an obvious upgrade over their counterparts on SmackDown.
CM Punk opens up the show and talks about his temper tantrum from last week. He says that his behavior is justified as he was screwed over at the Royal Rumble. He asks people in the crowd if he was shown in the video that Vince McMahon showed last week. Everyone says no but still blames him. Booker T comes out to interrupt his long and winding diatribe. He says that the crowd gets to choose his opponent tonight. The choices are Punks previous Wrestlemania opponents such as Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton and or Chris Jericho. The choice is up to the WWE Universe to decide.
Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro—Cesaro delivers a not so brutal head-butt to Ryback. Ryback has him hooked up on the ropes as he delivers kicks to the US champion. Ryback is dominating the hell out of Cesaro. Cesaro is getting in some offense before they go to commercial. Back from commercial and Ryback is in charge of the match. Cesaro tries to leave but Ryback takes the fight to him. Cesaro slams Ryback into the steel post and then the steps. He demands that the referee count out Ryback. He barely makes it into the ring before the ref gets to the count of ten. He delivers a vicious Meat Hook Clothesline to the champ and once again Cesaro tries to leave. He delivers Shell Shocked for the win.
Another recap of John Cena declaring that he is going for the Rock at WM 29; as if we didn’t know that he was going to do that. The only highlight of this recap is the Shield attacking him. God Bless the Shield for attacking him. I hope they do it nightly. Each of the choices that could face CM Punk is talking about why they are the better choice. After the clip of Rey Mysterio telling Matt Striker why he is the better candidate, we are treated to a video of the Shield. John Cena is shown watching the clip. Vickie G. talks to him about the rumor floating around that he wants to call out the Shield on his own.
Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger—Swagger is quick to show off his angry, aggressive side. He isn’t giving Santino a chance to get any offense in. Santino taps out to the Patriot Act FKA the Ankle Lock.
ADR vs. Cody Rhodes—Ricardo Rodriguez is not accompanying the WHC to the ring tonight as he is nursing an injury. Cody Rhodes slaps ADR and that unleashes Del Rio’s inner beast. Cody did get a couple of good moves in before Del Rio gained momentum. He delivers a brutal kick to Rhode’s face. I think the dead caterpillar that is on Cody’s face, shielded him from the brunt of the kick. Rhodes hits the Beautiful Disaster and gets a near pinfall. Del Rio locks in the Cross Arm Breaker and Rhodes quickly taps out. Del Rio thanks the fans for supporting him. Big Show interrupts and says that he isn’t there tonight and that he is in a secure location. Big Show declares that he wants a rematch at the Elimination Chamber. Quit fucking talking and wrestle.
Chris Jericho won the vote to face CM Punk later tonight. It’s a rematch from last year’s Wrestlemania. Kane and Daniel Bryan are shown backstage fighting. DB tells Kane to stay in the back because he can handle himself.
Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan—DB is starting the match off by being dominate towards his opponent. Lots of back and forth action between the two. Booker T and Teddy Long are watching in the back as they determine if DB has earned a spot in the EC. Back from commercial and DB still has control of the match. He goes to launch himself thru the ropes at Mysterio but his quick opponent catches him with a forearm. He sets up DB for the 619 but Bryan catches him. He quickly gets him in the No Lock but Mysterio counters. He connects with the 619 again. DB locks in the No Lock for the win via submission. Mark Henry makes his return and decimates both men. He is really going after Mysterio but here comes Sin Cara to attack. He gets caught by Henry and gets slammed to the ground. He delivers another vicious slam to Mysterio. He is screaming ‘that ain’t enough’.
Kane is showing walking backstage when Daniel Bryan comes running up to him. DB asks where he was at when Mark Henry attacked him. Kane said he told him to stay backstage and out of the way. It was a cute little segment between the two. Another recap of Paul Heyman’s personal performance review is shown again. Yes we get it Brock Lesnar is back and he is a badass. Also we get the fact that Heyman and Punk are allegedly behind the Shield and Brad Maddox.
Sheamus vs. Kane—Kane and Sheamus lock up to start the match off. Both men are getting in some wrestling moves in. Sheamus delivers a vicious back breaker to Kane but Kane quickly rebounds to his feet. Sheamus takes Kane clobbering but Kane stops it midstride. Sheamus goes for the Brogue kick but gets blocked by Kane. The men keep countering each other’s finishers but Kane drops him with a DDT. Here comes DB to distract Kane. Sheamus gets the win with the Brogue Kick.
Miz TV is back with a special guest of Paul Heyman. Heyman comes out to interrupt him before he could finish the introduction. Please allow me to fangirl for a moment. (Long drawn out sigh). Miz interrupts Heyman sending best wishes to Vince McMahon who had hip surgery last week. Heyman is declaring his innocence over Lesnar attacking McMahon. Oh my god, I am so fangirling at the moment. Thank you Miz for making a crappy day so much better. Vickie Guerrero comes out to interrupt the bickering. She said that Paul Heyman is innocent of what happened last week. She said that it was all on her as she is the one who is responsible for Lesnar being there. She has been negotiating his contract to get him back on RAW. Miz interrupts their little prayer session. Brock Lesnar comes out and so help me if he F5’s the Miz, then I swear to you I will throw a shoe at his head at the next WWE Show I go to. Miz pushes him and gets thrown out of the ring. Brock throws chairs after him and Miz goes after him again. He gets F5’d. Brock Lesnar needs to go back to whatever fucking rock he crawled out from. Why doesn’t he go back to the UFC oh that’s right they don’t want his crybaby ass there? So Lesnar take your cow fucking ass back to the farm.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett—How many times do we have to see this match? While both men put on great matches this pairing makes it stale as fuck. Sorry but not really, I’m tired of seeing the same matches over and over. So ATTENTION WWE CREATIVE: BOOK FRESH MATCHES. Orton delivers the DDT from the second rope and Barrett rolls to the outside. Orton connects with the RKO out of nowhere and scores the victory.
Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk—They lock it up and then start trading chops. Jericho has Punk in the corner and delivers another sick sounding chop. Jericho delivers a nice boot to the chest of his opponent. He delivers a nice tornado DDT to Punk. Punk is on the outside and Jericho delivers a nice baseball slide that causes Punk to crash into the announcer’s table. Back from commercial and Punk has gained the upper hand. Jericho hits the Lion Sault and goes for the Walls of Jericho. Punk goes for the GTS but Jericho counters. Punk has the Anaconda Vise locked in and Jericho is going for the ropes to force the break. He had him for the GTS but Jericho counters with the Walls of Jericho. Punk gets to the ropes. Punk wins.
Bruno Sammartino is the next inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. Congratulations sir on your induction into the Class of 2013.
Matt Striker attempts to interview the former WWE champ CM Punk. Punk calls Rock a thief.
Josh Matthews is interviewing Superman John Cena. Cena is vowing revenge on the Shield. Everyone is hoping that you will get your ass kicked by Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins. He goes on to say something else but I muted him. He storms off to the ring.
Big Show is on the phone with Booker T bitching about the contract not being there. Someone knocks on the door and the guy keeps trying to tell him something but Big Show doesn’t want to hear it. Big Show opens the door for the guy to leave but ADR is on the other side. He gets a beat down from Big Show. Show breaks a table but ADR uses a fire extinguisher.
Back from that segment and Brad Maddox is in the ring. Maddox is saying that he is innocent and that he is glad that the truth is out there. He reveals himself to be the one who gave Vince the video footage of Heyman and himself. He declares that he will be the one and not Cena to teach the Shield about justice. He calls them out. They make their way out to the ring and Ambrose is on the microphone. They get into to ring and quickly beat the shit out of Maddox. Here comes Cena making his way thru the crowd and here comes Ryback and Sheamus right on his heels. The Shield goes to leave up the ramp but the locker room comes out to block them. The Shield give as good as they get and take off thru the crowd.
In closing, I wasn’t too happy with tonight’s episode. Way too much filler and not enough action. Match of the night goes to CM Punk and Chris Jericho. In a new segment that I will call What the fuck were you thinking, this honor goes to the Miz for attacking Brock Lesnar. I give tonight’s show a C-. Here are my reasons why: 1.) too much filler 2.) no divas matches 3.) you assholes spoiled the HoF announcement. 4.) Way too much of John Cena. Have a good night and a better tomorrow.