Riley’s Corner: WWE Raw Review for 12-31-12

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Riley’s Corner

With Riley Ross

Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I break down the last Raw of 2012 and give my (un)biased opinions on each segment. Monday’s show was from Washington DC and had Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole on commentary.

The show opened up with Miz TV and his special guest was John Cena. Tonight has been decreed Champion’s choice. All titles are on the line. AJ and Dolph Ziggler have invited Cena to join them for a special toast later on in the show. Cena says that he will be there. Thank god for Team Rhodes Scholars as they come out to save the WWE Universe from Cena.  Cena gets in Cody’s face to study his mustache. I must say that was the highlight of the skit. Cena and Miz challenge Team Rhodes Scholars to a match right now.

Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Miz and Cena—Did anyone notice that Cody failed to rip his shirt off? Cena and Rhodes start it off. Cena and Miz are playing well together.  Cena and Miz get the victory.

Backstage the superstars and divas are celebrating the New Year. David Otunga is shown talking to Vickie. He says that 2013 will be the year of Otunga. Ziggler crashes the party and tries to make nice with Vickie. She announces that Ziggler has a match with Sheamus. Back from commercial and Vickie is shown with CM Punk and Paul Heyman.  He wants to have his doctor talk to the WWE universe. She says to forget about it but she will put Ryback in a match with The Shield. Paul Heyman made kissy faces at Vickie and that was cute and borderline disturbing.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Sgt Slaughter—Cesaro’s title is on the line for this match. Cesaro makes quick work of his opponent and hits the Neutralizer twice for the victory.

Team Hell No is shown in their locker room pacing back and forth. They are whining about not being able to pick the Shield as their opponents. On the other side of the room they hear some screeching and it turns out to be 3MB. They are the opponents that will face Team Hell No.

Once again back at the party, Ricardo is harassed by Big Show. Big Show announces that he has picked Ricardo as his opponent for the WHC title.  Kaitlyn brings in Mae Young to greet the other divas. Here comes Eve and she announces that she chooses Mae as her opponent.

Team Hell No vs. 3MB—Slater and Bryan start off the match. Heath Slater is nothing more than a joke. He is flatter than Zack Ryder and Santino Marella combined.  Daniel Bryan is stretching Slater more than a Gumby doll. Kane comes in and Slater quickly tags in Drew McIntyre. Nice punch to the chin from Kane. Team Hell No gets the victory.

CM Punk is in the ring with Paul Heyman and Punk’s doctor. They show X-rays of Punk’s knee and talk about his injury. Here comes Vince McMahon to chit chat. Vince says that next week WWE Officials will examine Punk to see if he is able to fight Ryback in a TLC championship match. Punk is adamantly denying ties with the Shield and Brad Maddox. Punk is being investigated for his alleged ties with the afore mentioned people. Heyman is claiming that Punk is an injured hero. Mr. McMahon says that if Punk cannot compete than he will find another competitor for Ryback and that opponent is Heyman. The shocked look on Heyman’s face is hilarious as hell.

Sheamus vs. Ziggler—Ziggler of course is escorted to the ring by the unstable AJ and Big E Langston. The match was doing good until Langston interfered. Ziggler’s hair makes it look like he got shocked. Big E gets into the ring to square off against Sheamus but the Shield comes down to attack Sheamus.

Wade Barrett and Kofi Kingston are having an argument backstage.  Kofi is going to give Wade a rematch. Punk and Heyman are talking while Maddox and his cameraman come in to interrupt.  Maddox says that he is looking for a job and Heyman dismisses him. I love Paul Heyman. Mae Young and the other divas and partygoers are shown. Mae Young is doubled over in pain and the doctor puts her on a table.  The doctor announces that Mae Young is pregnant and will not be able to compete.

Eve vs.Kaitlyn—Kaitlyn is taking the fight to Eve. Both divas take the fight outside the ring. Kaitlyn has shown improvement and I hope that 2013 is her year to shine. Eve takes the title and makes a run for it. Kaitlyn wins by countout.

Ricardo is shown backstage looking nervous while ADR comes up to him. Ricardo is showing confidence and saying that he will win the title in honor of ADR. ADR says that he will be in Ricardo’s corner. Del Rio gives him his scarf and the keys to his car. I am surprised that ADR is showing signs of humanity.

ADR vs. Big Show—The match starts off with Ricardo being dominated by Big Show. ADR is in Ricardo’s corner and gives him advice and words of encouragement.  Del Rio distracts Big Show while Ricardo regains his bearings. He kicks Show in the face and turns the match around. This is what I am talking about. He jumps from the top rope and Show catches him with a huge fist. ADR gets in the ring and comes to Ricardo’s aid. Show wins via DQ.

Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett—Good for Kofi for showing off his aggression; he really needs to show that he is a force to be reckoned with.  Kingston misses with the Trouble in Paradise and Barrett goes for the pin but Kofi kicks out at 2. Barrett wins and is the new IC champion.

Mae Young seems to be in labor while Khali holds her legs up in the air. Mae Young is giving birth to the New Year’s Baby and it’s Hornswoggle. Here come Team Hell No to scream No and Yes.  Its Hornswoggle dressed as the New Year’s Baby. Really WWE this is the lamest shit ever.

The Shield vs. Ryback—The Shield dominates the lone Ryback until Sheamus comes down to help out Ryback.  Seth Rollins is holding Ryback hostage in the corner. Randy Orton’s music hits and he comes out to level the playing field. Yes that piercing shriek you heard just now was me.  Umm Randy, the facial hair can go. The Shield run off like little cowards.

AJ and Dolph’s toast start off with showing all the recaps of the bad things that have happened to Cena. They rescind his invite and talk shit about him. Here comes Cena while Langston is blocking his entrance to the ring. Cena insults the three by showing a wedding picture of Dolph and Big E wearing dresses.  He mocks them endlessly before poop is dropped on AJ and Big E.

In closing, I give the show a huge A. Although some parts were filler and disgusting such as the Mae Young giving birth again but Orton’s return made up for it. Hopefully in 2013 the WWE can reclaim their ratings that they lost and prove to the WWE universe that they care about the fans. Have a good night and a better tomorrow.

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