With Riley Ross
Welcome back to Riley’s Corner where I give my unsolicited opinion on each segment of Raw. I will cover backstage skits, promos and matches. No one is safe from my snarky comments. Tonight’s show is coming at you from the Cajundome in Louisiana. On commentary tonight we have Michael Cole and Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler.
Ryback vs. Titus O’Neil—Holy cow we are starting off with a match. Yeehaw!!! O’Neil’s partner Darren Young is ringside to support his tag partner. Hey Titus, there are no time outs in wrestling. Sorry to burst your bubble. Young distracts Ryback and O’Neil manages to slam Ryback to the mat for a quick pin attempt. Titus collides with Young and knocks him off of the apron. Titus gets Shellshocked and Ryback picks up the win.
Ryback wants an answer to his question regarding CM Punk. He wants to know if Punk is working with Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins. He states that he will stay in the ring for the whole damn night if need be. Security comes down to the ring and Ryback challenges them. He already knocked one guy out of the ring. Here comes supervising manager Vickie G. to stop Ryback. After she demands that he leaves the ring, he tells her to shut up because that he isn’t finished. He is demanding a TLC match with CM Punk at the TLC PPV. She will give it to him under one condition that he leaves the ring so the show can continue. Security ran out of the ring as if they saw a ghost.
Rosa is verbally assaulting Hornswoggle because of his stunt last week. Here comes ADR to Rosa’s rescue. The Great Khali interrupts ADR before it got physical.
ADR vs. The Great Khali—Hornswoggle is in the corner of the Great Khali. Rosa is shown backstage watching the match. ADR is getting some offense in on Great Khali but Khali quickly turns it around. Ricardo tries to distract Khali but Hornswoggle bites him. ADR gets the win with his submission move. Rosa seems happy that ADR won.
Vickie G is shown backstage and Punk confronts her about the match that she made. Heyman is saying that maybe her head is clouded with the whole AJ/Cena scandal. She said that Ryback got the match due to Brad Maddox’s interference at HIAC and the shenanigans that happened at Survivor Series.
Michael Cole interviewed Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, and Dean Ambrose. He asks them if they are working for CM Punk and Ambrose says no. Said they did it to celebrate the milestone of having the title for 365 days. Said they would have interfered even if it was Cena or Punk. They then said the interview was over and walked out.
Alicia Fox vs. Tamina—Oh Wow there are more divas than Layla, Eve and Kaitlyn. Tamina dominated the hell out of Alicia Fox. Alicia looks like she is botching like crazy. Tamina nails it with the Super Fly Splash for the win.
John Cena makes his way to the ring; he is met with more boos than cheers. Dear Cena, please take time off we are tired of seeing your ass. Here comes the ever screeching Vickie Guerrero to interrupt John Cena. She gives John a present for him and AJ, I thought it was a sweet gesture that she gave them matching his and hers matching bathrobes. She goes on to rant about AJ being unstable and guess who comes out to the ring? AJ of course; did she really have to smack Cena’s ass though? I am so going to have nightmares tonight. Her and Vickie exchange insults before Dolph Ziggler comes out to save us all from this sham of a wrestling show. He implies that AJ was thinking of him when she kissed Cena. Vickie makes a match between Ziggler and Cena.
Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai—The charming Wade Barrett is on commentary. Kofi is holding his own against Albert, oops I mean Tensai. Although the tattooed grappler does reverse things for a few minutes. Kofi gets the win with the Cross Body Splash. Barrett grabs the championship and hands it to Kofi. Me thinks he is playing mind games with Kingston.
Kane and Daniel Bryan are sparring like an old married couple backstage. I really love this tag team. They work well together. Josh Matthews reveals that Kane won the WWE universe vote to fight CM Punk. Daniel Bryan is told that he has a match against Rey Mysterio.
Daniel Bryan vs. Rey Mysterio—History is being made as this is the first time they have ever faced one another. There is lots of great action in this match. Both men work well off of each other and play up to their strengths. Mysterio gets the win after hitting the 619.
Rosa is shown backstage with Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. She thanks him for saving her from Hornswoggle. This is a match made in hell in my opinion.
Josh Matthews is shown interviewing Dolph Ziggler. He says he cannot wait to watch the expression on AJ’s face when he destroys Cena.
How many times do we have to see the recap of the locker room brawl between Cena and Ziggler? For fucks sake we get it. They have beef with one another. We didn’t forget that when you showed the clip twenty times before.
Cena vs. Ziggler—For the record I am seriously considering banning the use of Cena’s name on here. Back from commercial and Ziggler is in charge. Yes Dolph, we get it, you like to show off but dude seriously it’s a wrestling match not a contest on who can suck ass more. Cena apparently injured himself again, oh poor baby go home and rest your knee. AJ comes down to run interference and Vickie yanks her off the apron. Dolph tried to use his briefcase and ‘Superman’ Cena wins again. AJ aggressively kisses Cena, get a room y’all. Nobody wants to see this shit. This is WRESTLING not a soap opera.
Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro—Sheamus does deliver a beautiful take down to the loud mouthed Cesaro. I like it when Sheamus shows off his aggressive side. They take the match outside and Cesaro gets thrown into the guard barrier. He turns it around by driving the Irishman’s knee into the steel steps. Cesaro goes for the pin but Sheamus kicks out at two. Sheamus counters the Neutralizer and kicks Cesaro out the ring. Here comes the Big Show with chair in hand. Sheamus wins after Cesaro gets counted out. Sheamus tells Show if he comes down there with a chair that he darn well better use it. He says he will do whatever it takes to walk out with the title at TLC.
Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder—I don’t know when it happened but Damien Sandow has won me over. It might be the way he intelligently insults us the fans or his opponents but I am now a fan. Zack Ryder needs a new gimmick in my opinion. He has become stale and boring. Sandow is beating the shit out of Ryder. Please beat a new gimmick into him. Sandow gets the win.
Josh Matthews interviews Paul Heyman outside Punk’s dressing room. Damn Heyman is magic on the microphone. He is the true wordsmith, put him on commentary instead of that chump JBL.
CM Punk vs. Kane—This is the main event match. What? Cena not in a main event? Holy catnip Batman that is huge. Punk is accompanied to the ring by Paul Heyman of course. Lots of action between Kane and Punk. Punk hits the running knee on Kane who is in the corner. The Shield aka Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns are shown lurking ringside. Seriously guys you aren’t badass ninjas when you are three on one. What’s up with the all black gear? This isn’t Magic Mike. Ambrose and Rollins are talented on the microphone and have spades of in ring talent. I am still out to lunch on Reigns. Punk wins the match with Kane as the three guys make their way into the ring. They are eyeing Punk but attack Kane. I wasn’t impressed with the Original Nexus and I am damn sure not impressed with the other wrestling company that has the almost identical storyline going on. Ryback comes out and gets attacked. He does put in a great offense but gets blindsided by Punk. Ryback counters and was going to flatten Punk but Reigns saves him. As my dead grandma would say this is pure horse shit. Come on creative and pull your heads out of your asses and come up with something original. I know it hurts you all to have an original thought but suck it up and do it anyway.
In closing, this show was a clusterfuck from beginning to end. It was heavy on recaps and bullshit matches. The match of the night was Daniel Bryan and Rey Mysterio. That’s not good WWE creative team, surely you could make this show better. You rely on recaps the way a certain relative of mine relies on others to fix her mistakes. That my dears isn’t a good thing. You get a D+ for this horrible show. Make sure you all check out http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-shark-attack-live. This week, special airing time. We’ll be airing Tuesday at 8 pm ET Call in at (347) 945-6363. Have a good night and a better tomorrow.