With Riley Ross
Welcome back to Riley’s Corner. Tonight’s Raw is coming at you all from Columbus, Ohio. Jerry Lawler makes his return to the commentator’s booth after a nine week leave since his heart attack. Welcome back King. Also a huge thank you to all military veterans: past, present and future. Just a friendly reminder that Survivor Series is this Sunday.
Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler—Yes finally the WWE opens a show with a match. This match had lots of action between the two superstars. Del Rio, tried to interfere but got his ass handed to him. Orton wins. After the match Kofi Kingston comes to Orton’s defense. Teddy Long came out to make this a tag match.
Kofi Kingston/Orton vs. Del Rio/Ziggler—Kofi is dominating Ziggler at the start of the match. Orton interrupts to save Kofi. Ziggler does a handstand while doing a submissive move. Oh yay please show off more. (Sarcasm) Randy gets the tag and as does Del Rio. Kofi tags himself in and goes for a pin attempt but Ziggler interrupts. Del Rio wins. Orton is glaring at Del Rio. Great showmanship from Orton as he helps his former rival Kingston up.
Vickie Guerrero is coming out to share new evidence of the John Cena/AJ affair. Dolph Ziggler is out there with her. A recap of the previous evidence is shown before they reveal the new evidence. Vickie calls out AJ. Vickie tries to get AJ to confess to having an affair with Superman Cena. Voicemails from John’s phone from AJ are played. Dolph tries to antagonize AJ but Cena comes to her defense. Ziggler receives a slap from AJ and a right hand from Cena. For fucks sake end this storyline now. It’s bad enough that Cena has to be in every damn main event and title run but now he has to be in all of the storylines. Are you aware that there are other wrestlers than Cena on your roster? I suggest that ‘Creative’ pulls their collective heads out of their asses and give others a push.
AJ is shown backstage with Cena. AJ gets a little upset when Cena says they are making a big deal over something that would never happen. I would rather listen to Johnny Ace read the phone book than to watch this shit.
William Regal vs. Big Show—Recap of why this feud came to be was longer than the match. Show dominated Regal during this quick but brutal match. Show gets the victory with a KO punch. He goes to do it again after the victory but Sheamus comes down to save Regal.
Layla vs. Kaitlyn—Eve is on commentary. She says neither one deserves a title shot Sunday. Layla goes up to the top rope and gives Kaitlyn a boot to the face. Kaitlyn counters with a vicious move and gets the win. She won the right to face Eve at Survivor Series.
A recap of Jerry Lawler’s heart attack is shown as they hype up his return in a few moments. I have an issue with the fact that they filmed the medics working on him backstage. Have some fucking respect for Lawler and the fans. I guess Vince would do anything for ratings and money. JR and Michael Cole are in the ring to welcome back Jerry Lawler. Okay, even I the ice queen got a little teary eyed to hear the crowd welcome him back. During his emotional speech, he is interrupted by CM Punk and his henchman Paul Heyman. Punk made a joke saying that Jerry should be glad he left the ring because Punk would have beat him to death again. This is bullshit. WWE, you are in danger of losing fans over stupid shit like this. Vince, I hope you lose ratings over this. Its low of Punk making jokes about death. I lost my grandfather to heart disease, thank you mother fuckers for bringing that back up. Paul Heyman fake having a heart attack is really fucking low. Here comes Mick Foley to defend Lawler. Foley should rip Punk a new asshole, and after he is done doing that, he should go after Vince.
Sin Cara/Mysterio/Justin /Tyson Kidd vs. PTP/Epico/Primo—while the match is going on Ricardo Rodriguez delivers a note to Rosa Mendes. Getting to see Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel on TV is pretty freaking sweet. As they are both severely under-utilized. Justin Gabriel scores the victory after his patented 450 splash.
Brad Maddox is shown primping for his upcoming match with Ryback as Paul Heyman comes up to him. They wander off talking as we go to commercial.
Miz is shown backstage talking to someone on the phone as Ziggler comes up to him and begs him to be on Team Ziggler. Two members of Team Ziggler will face Team Foley. Ziggler chooses Team Rhodes Scholars. Miz asks for Foley to put him on Team Foley. Mick Foley agrees to put Miz on the ballot. The choice is up to the WWE Universe.
R-Truth vs. Tensai–Cesaro has to come down and run his mouth. When he speaks all I hear is blah, blah, blah. He has a match with R-Truth Sunday at Survivor Series. After getting nearly decimated by Tensai, R-Truth shows off an aggressive side as he gets up in Cesaro’s face.
Brad Maddox vs. Ryback—If Maddox wins he will be rewarded with a $1M dollar contract. Sirens go off and as an ambulance backs up near the ramp. They show a promo of him proclaiming to be a WWE Superstar. Sorry Sweets but I am not buying into the hype. Now run along and let the real wrestlers have air time. After Ryback makes his entrance, EMTs roll a stretcher down to the ring. Ryback is beating the shit out of Maddox. Before delivering a running scoop slam, Ryback says “you’re dead”. I love seeing Maddox’s head slam against the mat. That clothesline looked vicious. Ryback delivers SHellshocked and gets the win. Sorry Kid but you never had a chance against the monstrous Ryback. He is not finished delivering a beatdown to the loser. He flipped him over while he was on the stretcher and then hits a devastating clothesline to him. He is carrying him to the ambulance and slams him into it. Least he was helpful by throwing him into the ambulance.
David Otunga vs. Sheamus—Sheamus marches around the ring with Otunga on his back before he delivers the White Noise. Sheamus hits the Brogue kick for the win. This could have been more but since it only lasted about two minutes. He declares that he is going to take back the WHC as the camera cuts to backstage where we see the Big Show beating the stuffing out of William Regal. Regal might have suffered a broken jaw from the KO punch that was delivered.
Kane and Daniel Bryan have a cute comedic segment. Daniel Bryan is pouting that Kane isn’t teaming with him tonight. I know I have said it lots but I love Team Hell No.
Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Kane/Miz—The Miz won the vote to be on Team Foley. YES!!!!! Whether he is heel or face, I will always be a Mizfit. Daniel Bryan comes out ringside. Back from commercial and Kane is taking on Sandow. Miz and Kane are working well together as they keep Sandow from tagging in his partner. Bryan is pouting at the commentator booth but he is cheering on Kane and Miz. Kane chokeslams Rhodes and wins the match. Daniel Bryan tried to screw over the Miz but the Awesome One countered. After the win, Daniel Bryan and Miz have words.
John Cena vs. CM Punk—Mick Foley is going to be the special enforcer. Punk is accompanied to the ring by Heyman. Cena has a triple threat match Sunday with Ryback and reigning Champ Punk. Punk leaves the ring before Cena could do some damage. When we come back from commercial Punk is in charge as Heyman grins mischievously from the corner. Cena rolls away before Punk delivers the flying elbow drop. Punk rolls out of the way as Cena delivers one of the five moves he knows the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Punk has the Anaconda Vise locked in but Cena is dragging him to the ropes. Cena gets the STF locked in but Heyman gets in the ring. Foley pulls Heyman out of the ring. Punk gets a two count. Punk tries to leave but Ryback backs him down the ramp. Cena gets the win. As fucking usual, sorry but when does he not when a main event? Ryback and Cena have a staredown before they reach for the championship.
In closing I give the show a C-, it would have been an A+ but faking a heart attack greatly reduced the grade. Joking about heart attacks is not funny and I really hope that Vince McMahon learns his lesson from this. The go home show was decent except for that Heyman skit. You know its bad when wrestling fans are pissed off about that. I am hoping that the Cena/AJ storyline ends soon. I also hope that Cena takes a break from wrestling so he can learn new moves. I am sick of him being in every main event and also getting a title shot when there are others that deserve it a lot more than he does. Have a good night and a better tomorrow.