PIPE BOMB!: Wrestling Weddings: What Could Go Wrong?
With Billy James
Last Monday night, we saw Daniel Bryan again propose to AJ after trying last week on Raw. However this time, AJ agreed and now Daniel Bryan and AJ will get marry this Monday on Raw. So with this big wedding happening on the 1000th edition of Raw, what could go wrong? Well, if you’re a wrestling fan then you know that wrestling weddings usually end up in two words; “Train Wreck!” So with this big wedding happening this Monday (Aren’t they are big anyway?) here are some of my favorite Wrestling Wedding moments.
I guess I’ll start with the wedding that went off without any drama but still makes this list is the wedding of the “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth which took placed at Summerslam 1991. While the wedding it self was drama free, that was not the case with the wedding reception which Jake “The Snake” Roberts gave one hell of a wedding present; a live snake in a gift box. Before Savage could do anything, he’s attack by Roberts and the Undertaker who beat up Savage before Sid Justice comes to Savage’s aid. Savage and Miss Elizabeth’s wedding still stands in my opinion as the greatest Wrestling Wedding of all time.
Now to a Wrestling Wedding that was like watching an episode of Jerry Springer was the wedding of Dawn Marie and Al Wilson on Smackdown in 2003. This wedding was a total train wreck as both Dawn Marie and Al stripped down to their underwear to the dismay and shock of wrestling fans. Dawn Marie at first was using Al to get to his daughter; Torrie Wilson as Dawn Marie wanting to spend one night with Torrie. (Who in their right mind wouldn’t want to spend the night with Torrie Wilson?) However, Dawn Marie develop feelings for Al and married him. Unfortunately for the happy couple, Al Wilson dies after having rigorous sex numerous times in succession on their honeymoon. (If you got to go, go with a smile. Or at least that’s what Jack Nicholson once said.) Al’s death lead to two matches between Dawn Marie and Torrie with the last one being billed as a Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter match. One thing that fans will also remember about this wedding is that Dawn Marie looked hot in that white lingerie
This blushing bride has gone down the alter twice; a wedding from hell and a wedding that was Rated R. Of course I’m talking about Lita who would marry Kane and almost marry the “Rated R Superstar” Edge. Lita’s first wedding was not by choice as Kane had beaten Matt Hardy in a” Till Death Do Us Part” match At Summerslam 2004 which meant that Lita had to marry Kane. Lita decided to voice her unhappiness about this wedding as Lita worn a black wedding gown instead of the traditional white. Despite Matt Hardy interrupting the wedding, Kane and Lita were married. Lita would later leave Kane for “The Rated R Superstar” after turning on Kane during the finals of the Raw Gold Rush Tournament. Lita and Edge had their wedding on Raw but was interrupted by a vengeful Kane, who emerged from beneath the ring, destroyed the ceremony, and as Edge and Lita escaped from the ring Kane tombstoned their priest. One thing about this wedding was Lita looked hot in the short white gown with a very low plunge.
Next on the list is got to be one of the most conversational weddings in WWE history; the wedding of Billy and Chuck. Billy and Chuck were a tag team in the WWE who had won the WWE World Tag Team titles on two occasions. After Billy had lost a match to Rey Mysterio in the summer of 2002, Chuck asked Billy to be his “partner for life” and gave Billy a wedding ring. The two had a wedding ceremony but didn’t go through with it as they admitted that it was all just a publicity stunt and that they were not Gay. (So that’s where they got the idea for I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.) Billy and Chuck would then be attack out of the blue by the tag team of Three Minute Warning with Eric Bischoff who was posing as the preacher. I’m sure if the WWE ever did a top ten list of WWE Wedding; Billy and Chuck’s wedding would be in the top five for sure.
Well, we can’t let the WWE have all the fun as TNA has also had their share of weddings. Who could forget the wedding of “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal and So Cal Val. The wedding took place at Slammivesary 2008 with such guest as Jake “The Snake” Roberts, George “The Animal” Steele, Koko B. Ware, and Kamala. But the wedding would go down hill when Lethal’s “Best Man”; Sonjay Dutt ruined the wedding when he begged Val to marry him instead of Lethal. This lead to a feud between Lethal and Dutt that in their third match at No Surrender in a “Ladder of Love” Ladder match Val turned on Lethal which allow Dutt to win the match.
Here’s another TNA wedding that took place this year and is my good buddy; John Mayer’s favorite; Eric Young and ODB. (Oh wait, I forgot that John went into a manic rage when he watched this wedding.) Eric Young and ODB were paired together in the Wild Card Tournament and soon after the tournament, became a couple. Young and ODB would make history when they won the TNA Knockouts Tag Team titles beating Gail Kim and Madison Rayne. Young would then propose to ODB after the match which ODB said yes to the dismay of John Mayer. (Rumor has it that John couldn’t talk the next day because he had been screaming at the TV after this match.) The happy couple’s wedding took place on the April 12 episode on Impact Wrestling inside a steel cage. During the ceremony, Sarita and Rosita came down in black robes and teased Young into not marrying ODB as the two cousins reveal their sexy lingerie under those black robes. Well, the next think you know, ODB strips down to her panties and bra, Young strips down to his underwear and the two get married. Personally myself, I would have gone with the Salsa Mama; Sarita and “Hot Spice” Rosita but hey that’s just me. Don’t worry John, I’m sure ODB will be single again, maybe.
Well, I couldn’t finish this PIPE BOMB! without talking about this wedding which took place on NXT Season 3 which was the very first wrestling show that I started reviewing; the wedding of Aksana and Goldust. Goldust was Aksana’s Pro on NXT 3 where Aksana was having issues with her visa and was facing deportation from the U.S. Goldust would later proposed marriage to Aksana so she could stay in the United States, which she accepted. The wedding was pure gold, as Dusty Rhodes and Cody Rhodes stood at Goldust’s side with Hornswoggle as the ring bearer. Ted DiBiase, Jr. and Maryse interupted the wedding revealing that DiBiase had paid the minister not to show up. Dusty Rhodes shocks everyone when he tells everyone that he was prepared for this and brings out a replacement minister; “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase. After being pronounced “Man and Wife” Aksana shocks everyone as she slaps Goldust as he tries to kiss her. The follow week, Aksana revealed to Goldust that she never loved him, and only married him to stay in the country as if she returned to Lithuania she’d be beaten with shovels. I have to say that the Aksana and Goldust wedding was one of the best moments of NXT 3.
What will happen during Daniel Bryan and AJ’s wedding on the 1000th edition of RAW? Will the happy couple be interrupted by the “The Voice of the Voiceless”. Will Daniel and AJ’s wedding ruined by someone who is awesome or by a woman who is just jealous of AJ. Well, we all just have to watch the 1000th Raw to find out.