John Mayer: I Like It RAW For 6/4/12

Welcome to this week’s edition of I Like It RAW. We ended last week’s show with The Big Show destroying not only Brodus Clay but the Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston and R-Truth. As was announced earlier in the day John Cena will lead off RAW being interviewed by Michael Cole. What will the leader of the Cenation have to say about his opponent in just 2 weeks? Will Brodus Clay or the Tag Champs attempt to gain a measure of revenge on The Big Show? There is only 1 way to find out.

 

Before I begin I would like to let you all know a change in my ratings system. Lately I have been using sayings instead of stars or a number rating. This week I am going to change it up a little bit. This week school is in session and I will do letter grades.

 

We start with a recap of Big Show’s destruction from last week. Last week he took out Brodus Clay,Kofi Kingston,R-Truth,Santino Marella,Zack Ryder,and Alex Riley. We then get Michael Cole in the ring and John Cena comes out to a pretty descent pop. Cole says this could have been avoided had Cena done the right thing and instead of insulting John Laurinaitis he should have fought for his job back. Cole says Big Show did what he had to do to feed his family. Cena tells Cole that Show wanted a wallet as big as his waistline. Cole calls Cena over-rated and says he hopes Show takes Cena out. From there we get Big Johnny’s music. Laurinaitis says Cena can pick his opponent for tonight except Big Show and himself. So therefore John Cena’s opponent tonight is MICHAEL COLE! Cole tries to appeal to Big Johnny but he rides off on his scooter.

 

Tonight we will have 2 rematches from Smackdown as Dolph Ziggler will take on Sheamus and Kane will take on CM Punk. In the Punk/Kane match there must be a winner.

 

Backstage Michael Cole is STILL trying to get Big Johnny to reconsider the match and for once Laurinaitis does the right thing and says the match is still on.

 

Vickie Guerrero comes out to introduce Dolph Ziggler as Michael Cole comes back down to ringside. Ziggler has a big task ahead of him as he faces the World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus.

 

MATCH 1:DOLPH ZIGGER VS SHEAMUS

 

In my opinion Dolph Ziggler is 1 of the most under-rated guys on the WWE roster. During this match he did a leaping DDT and a Fame-Asser from the second rope. But just as quickly as Ziggler had the advantage he lost the match following the White Noise and a Brogue Kick from The Great White.

 

WINNER: SHEAMUS

GRADE: B-

 

After the match Alberto Del Rio attacks Sheamus on the top of the ramp. Sheamus is able to fend Del Rio off briefly but falls victim to the Cross ArmBreaker.

 

Backstage David Otunga informs Big Johnny that Mr.McMahon will be appearing next week to give him a job evaluation.

 

Sin Cara comes out with his new red gear. His opponent will be Hunico and as we all know Hunico debuted as Sin Cara Negro last year until the real Sin Cara took his mask from him.

 

MATCH 2: SIN CARA VS HUNICO

 

Hunico is my hero. He comes out and wrestles in some old school Chuck Taylor Converse. But he needed some PF Flyers to stay close to Sin Cara. Cara has not lost a step since coming back and he wins with La Misticia.

 

WINNER: SIN CARA

GRADE: C

 

We get a special treat tonight as we will see the RAW debut of Ryback. Hopefully they give him some competition tonight.

 

MATCH 3: RYBACK VS TWO JOBBERS

 

I do not remember these jackasses names but they talked at the same time and it drove me nuts. This was a typical Ryback Smackdown squash which was ended by the double Fisherman Buster.

 

WINNER:RYBACK

GRADE:D

 

MATCH 4:THERE MUST BE A WINNER KANE VS C.M.PUNK

 

Before Kane comes out Daniel Bryan comes out and does his question and answer time which the crowd goes NO NO NO! This was a back and forth back. Kane blocked the GTS while Punk blocked the chokeslam. They work there way outside the ring where Bryan attacks Punk. Kane goes for the chokeslam but Punk blocks it again. AJ comes out and Bryan goes to confront her but gets attacked by Punk. But that proves enough as once back in the ring Kane chokeslams Punk for the 3.

 

WINNER:KANE

GRADE:B

 

Backstage Josh Matthews interviews AJ and asks her about the look she gave Kane after the match. AJ says she likes when guys look at her. She is nuts but she is a cute cookoo.

 

From there we go to a Big Show vignette like they did for Brock Lesnar. I did not like the Lesnar video and I did not like this 1 either.

 

MATCH 5: KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH VS CURT HAWKINS & TYLER REKS

 

Kofi and Truth are taped up from the assault from last week. Hawkins and Reks target the injured areas but it is not enough. Kofi gets the win for the champs with Trouble In Paradise.

 

WINNERS: KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH

GRADE: C

 

John Cena comes out for his match with Michael Cole when Laurinaitis comes out and says Cena will face Cole in a No-DQ match provided that he defeats Tensai first.

 

MATCH 6: JOHN CENA VS TENSAI

 

As Cole is gloating over at the announce booth he lets everyone know that Cena has never defeated Tensai. Tensai is dominant to start the match. On the mic Cole is in full heel mode rooting for Tensai. However a missed back splash spelt doom for Tensai. Cena hit the AA for the win and his shot at Michael Cole.

 

WINNER:JOHN CENA

GRADE:D

 

MAIN EVENT: JOHN CENA VS MICHAEL COLE

 

Cole is wrestling in his suit and begins by running away. Once in the ring Cole grabs the mic in an attempt to kiss Cena’s ass. Cole then gets angry and Cena starts to dismantle Cole. Cena rips off Cole’s clothes and chops Cole. Cena grabs the mic and tells Cole to not only apologize to Jerry Lawler but to Jim Ross as well. Lawler has some JR’s BBQ sauce which he gives to Cena and he pours it all over Cole. Cena douses Cole off with the fire extinguisher and sets Cole for the AA when Tensai came in and hit the ChokeBomb on Cena for only a 2. Cole goes to hit Cena with the extinguisher but gets caught with the AA for the 3 count.

 

WINNER:JOHN CENA

RATING:A+ GREATEST MAIN EVENT IN RAW HISTORY(JUST KIDDING)

 

This weeks RAW was an improvement over the last couple of weeks. I gotta give this week’s RAW a 6 out of 10. Next week’s RAW is 3 hours with the return of Vince McMahon. Until next week everyone.

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About John Mayer

31 year old wrestling fan and writer
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