John Mayer: I Like It RAW For 4/30/12

Welcome to another edition of I Like It RAW. Last night at Extreme Rules we saw John Cena get the shit kicked out of him yet he managed to defeat Brock Lesnar in the main event. Also we saw CM Punk defeat Chris Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight. Tonight we will see Triple H for the first time since Wrestlemania. Also the Tag Team Champions Primo & Epico must decide if they want to join A.W. This should be an interesting 2 hours so here we go.

 

We start off with highlights from Lesnar/Cena. I will admit I was pulling for Cena espically after how badly Lesnar kicked his ass.

 

We start off the RAW Supershow Staring Brock Lesnar with none other then John Lauranitis. He is puckering up and kissing Brock Lesnar’s ass. Out comes Lesnar and he does not look happy at all. Brock says last night we got to experience him bring the pain to Cena. John tries to chime in when Triple H’s music and out comes The Game. Triple H says Brock’s days of holding up the WWE are through. Basically all the demands that Lesnar asked for and got last week are now null and void. Lauranitis pulls out a contract and Triple H just rips it up. Triple H says the fans may not like Brock but they want to see Brock take on all the talent in the WWE but it has to be under the contract he agreed to. Lauranitis tries to put his 2 cents in but Triple H says it is between him and Brock. Once again Lauranitis tries to but in but is told to shut up. After a third attempt at a butt in by Lauranitis Brock attacks Triple H and locks him in the Kimora until Sheamus,Kofi Kingston,R-Truth,and The Big Show come out and save Triple H. The Game may have a broken arm and Lesnar just leaves.

 

Back from break and Eve comes out to announce that the number 1 contender to the WWE Title will be decided in the Beat The Clock challenge with match 1 starting now.

 

MATCH 1: THE MIZ VS. SANTINO MARELLA

 

This is a rematch from the Extreme Rules pre show which saw Santino successfully defend the United States Title. Miz has the advantage early and at the 2 minute mark hits a Double Axhandle from the top rope. Santino gets the advantage around the 3:15 mark only to lose it back to Miz. A Skull Crushing Finale and Miz wins at 4:18.

 

WINNER: MIZ AT 4:18

RATING: **

 

We go back to last night where Layla defeated Nikki Bella to win the Divas Title in her 1st match in a year. Back to tonight where Layla must defend the Divas Title against both Bellas.

 

MATCH 2: DIVAS TITLE: LAYLA(c) VS NIKKI BELLA VS BRIE BELLA

 

The Bellas bicker with each other which lets Layla dropkick 1 into the other and Layla getting a rollup victory.

 

WINNER: LAYLA

RATING: I MISSED LAYLA

 

As Cole and King are talking the lights go out and Chris Jericho and his Lite Brite jacket come out for his Beat The Clock match.

 

MATCH 3: CHRIS JERICHO VS THE BIG SHOW

Show goes into this match pissed because of losing the Intercontinental Title last night to Cody Rhodes. Show starts off on fire but Jericho is able to take the big man down and goes on the offensive briefly but is able to move out of the way of a Big Show corner splash. The clock is below 2 minutes when Jericho hits a DDT but he cannot keep the big man down. Big Show hits a spear with about 90 seconds left but cannot pin Jericho. Jericho ducked the WMD but was unable to hit the Codebreaker as they go out the ring. Big Show gets counted out however the clock hit 0 when the ref counted 9. Therefore Miz still has the pace.

 

WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO VIA COUNTOUT

RATING: **

 

It’s time to get funky as Brodus Clay comes out with Cameron and Naomi. I feel bad for his opponent JTG.

 

MATCH 3: BRODUS CLAY VS JTG

 

Brodus started off strong and finished as fast as he started. JTG got in all of 2 moves. Brodus wins with the big splash. After the match Brodus invites some kids from the crowd into the ring to dance with him.

 

WINNER: BRODUS CLAY

RATING: *

 

Backstage Eve tries to calm Lauranitis down and asks him who Cena’s next opponent is going to be. John says that he knows and Cena won’t like it.

 

Randy Orton comes out in an attempt to Beat The Clock. The current time to beat is 4:18. His opponent will be former champion Jack Swagger.

 

MATCH 4: RANDY ORTON VS JACK SWAGGER

 

Orton has gone for 3 covers in the 1st minute but got nothing. Swagger went for the powerbomb but Orton countered it. Swagger shop blocks Orton and starts to wear Orton down but the clock is winding down. Swagger went for the corner splash but Orton kicked him right in the gut. With 40 seconds left Orton hits his DDT and went for the RKO but Swagger countered into the AnkleLock but Orton countered it into an RKO for the win at 4:16 making him the new leader.

 

WINNER: RANDY ORTON IN 4:16

RATING: ** ½

 

MATCH 5:TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: PRIMO & EPICO(c) VS KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH

 

Kingston and Truth own a non title victory over the champs. The challenger’s start off strong but the champs start to take over. Kofi gets tagged in and starts to clean house on both champs. Kofi hits the Boom Drop on Epico and goes for Trouble in Paradise when both Primo and Rosa try to interfere but Kofi stops them both. Epico goes for the Backstabber but Kofi pushes him off and hits Trouble In Paradise for the win to become the new Tag Champs.

 

WINNERS: KOFI KINGSTON & R-TRUTH

RATING:** ½

 

In the next Beat The Clock match The Great Khali will take on Kane.

 

MATCH 6: THE GREAK KHALI VS KANE

 

This is far from a technical masterpiece. Kane hits a flying clothesline with about 2 minutes left. Khali gets some offense in with about a minute left. Time runs out with neither man beating the clock. After the match Kane chokeslams Khali. Orton has 1 more match to worry about.

 

WINNER: NO CONTEST

RATING:NONE

 

Daniel Bryan is in the last match to Beat The Clock. He is going to face Jerry Lawler. Can either man beat the clock?

 

MAIN EVENT: DANIEL BRYAN VS JERRY LAWLER

 

Bryan starts off quickly but gets stopped by a barrage from Lawler. Lawler hits the fist drop but cannot get the 3 count. Bryan counters the piledriver and locks in the YES Lock for the tapout win and the shot at CM Punk at Over The Limit.

 

WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN

RATING: *

 

John Cena comes out with his arm in a sling. He says he expected his arm to be in a cast but he is here with the fans. King pissy pants John Lauranitis comes out and says when he told Lesnar that he was the new face of the WWE he was really trying to motivate Cena. Cena throws some insults and Lauranitis tells him that he has the power to make his life easy or difficult. Lord Tensai comes out so we are expecting him to be Cena’s opponent. Tensai and his handler get in the ring but before they do anything Lauranitis attacks Cena and announces that Cena’s opponent will be him. From there the 3 heels destroy Cena and his injured arm to end the show.

 

This week’s RAW was different for sure. I am glad to see Daniel Bryan remain in the title picture and the match with Punk will be great. I will give this week’s RAW a 7 out of 10. I am quite curious to see where the WWE goes with the angles they started tonight. Well until next week kids don’t lock a Kimora on any of your enemies.

 

On 2 side notes it was announced during RAW that The Bella Twins had been fired. But truthfully The Bellas contract expired and they did not re-sign. Also it was announced that Triple H suffered a broken arm at the hands of Brock Lesnar.

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About John Mayer

31 year old wrestling fan and writer
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