Joe G’s Monday Night RAW,Raw Dawg Review for 3/26/12

Well we are one week from Mania, less than one week actually and I am fully expecting Raw to be rather pedestrian this week as to keep the stars from getting injured.  I refrained from reading my twitter (@TwittaWorldOrda) last night as to keep everything new to me.  So that said I really hope we get some ok matches but I am not expecting them at all.  I am very eager to see the remaining members of Team Teddy and Team Johnny, as you all know I am all Team Johnny.  I can not stand the sight or sound of Teddy Long.  The guy is a vomit inducing machine.  Just go away man please.

That being said lets roll….

The crowd seems extremely pumped up  with the early shots.  Love the energy from Atlanta.  Ugh we are opening with Orton and his lame ass gimmick…

On a Side note my USA HD doesn’t work and I need to remember to call Verizon FiOS and have that addressed immediately.

Oh lord we got over 2 hours of Booker to listen to this evening.  When he talks all I hear is Charlie Browns mom. Wahhh wahh wahh wahh… Jesus.

Match 1: Orton & Sheamus V.  Daniel Bryan w/AJ & Kane

Orton and Sheamus comes out with a bunch of pop.  Bryan gets his typical heel heat and Kane gets no reaction one way or the other. YES YES YES!!! My DBry bias is seeping out.  I want the good luck kiss from AJ BADLY!!!!  Bryan opens against Orton.  Lawler is so painful to listen to as well.  Orton with his typical power style and no wrestling skill. Orton makes the tag to Sheamus, and Bryan quickly runs to tag in Kane.  Kane hopefully manhandles this boring superstar, a term I use very loosely.  I feel extremely horrible for Bryan in this match as the 3 men he is in the ring with can not wrestle a lick.  Oh look a commercial, shocking.  (I MUST SEE AMERICAN REUNION)  We return with Bryan in the ring with Sheamus.  I hate not seeing how that tag went down.  Orton gets the hot tag and hits his multiple lame clotheslines and powerslam.  Rope DDT and Cole goes into the vintage Orton thing.  Orton does his flop to the ground and starts slapping the ring like some kind of mental patient but the crowd loves it.  Kane yanks Bryan out of the ring for the save.  Kane gets the tag and is dealing with Orton in the ring.  Kanes wig is awesome as it never falls off.  Kane is out wrestling Orton which is just further proving my point about how bad Orton really is.  I do not see how people love him so much.  Kane hits a top rope maneuver and goes for a chokeslam but Orton hits a dropkick.  Hot tag to Sheamus and Bryan with Sheamus using his power game and no wrestling skill like usual.  AJ runs into the ring to protect Bryan.   Kane then hits Sheamus with a  chokeslam and Bryan pins Sheamus for the Win sweet!!

That was a solid opening match and now we are watching more Rock and Cena promos.  They are trying like hell to push this match so damn much and it is now getting sickening.  Rock is a joke nowadays to me.  He just needs to disappear and stay in hollywood.

Cole is now in the ring with a Team Johnny shirt on!  Awesome.  Johnny clearly has the best team for this match and if they let Teddy win everything will go back to shit.  Johnny comes out with Vickie as his team Johnny Flagbearer.  Otunga comes out and just nails his poses like a champion.  Booker T just keeps yapping like a clown I can not understand him at all.  Oh wait he is now jumping on the announce table and introducing this jerkoff Teddy Long.  He quickly brings out Santino who god he is awful.  Hornswaggle is the Team Teddy flagbearer.

Match 2:  Santino V. Otunga

Wow I think WWE owns twitter as they continue to push it more and more on us.  But cool to see Michael Cole trending worldwide.  Otunga is awesome and Santino sucks.  Crap R Us did Lawler really just say that?  He is awful.  Santino wins with a lame ass Cobra and the crowd pops.  Miz comes out and lays out Santino with a Skull Crushing Finale and Miz gets the final spot on team Johnny!  I thought for sure it was going to be Del Rio but he must not be healthy yet.

Christian and Punk tonight!!! That could be a WrestleMania main event for crying out loud and we are getting it 6 days before Mania.  I am marking out like a fucking schoolgirl right now.

HHH & Taker preview and I will not write about this match cause I don’t care about a bunch of people who belong in wheelchairs match.

Match 3: Eve w/Beth V. Kelly Kelly

Oh this match will suck but it is fun to look at Eve and Kelly.  I think Kelly got implants.  Eve was the aggressor and Kelly ended up hitting the helicopter thing, whatever then the roll up of death for the win.  Match really sucked and it is depressing the WWE is forcing K2 down our throat at Mania.  However getting to look at greek fire aka Maria Menounos is cool with me!!

Match 4: Christian V. CM Punk

Oh man here comes my dude Christian, PEEP for life over here.  This match is like mark out city for me.  I love that Christian is rocking the team Johnny T shirt to the ring…  The pop that Punk gets is insane.  “Its Clobbering time”.  Jericho comes on the titantron and rips into Punks mom.  Punk watches as Jericho cuts down his family again.  Christian capitalizes on the distraction and starts tooling up Punk, the tide quickly turns and Punk just clowns on Christian taking him out of the 6 man tag match.  I think Christian won by DQ but I am not sure.

Match 5: Brodus Clay V. Curt Hawkins

Somebody call my momma.  I really like this gimmick they used for Brodus, I did not think I would but it grows on me more and more.  Curt Hawkins is useless and gets mollywhopped rather quickly.  I enjoy watching Brodus but I would love to see the man have a match against a non jobber and see if he has any future.

Another Rock and Cena small video package promo, jesus christ keep shoving down our throat.

Match 6: Big Show V. Primo

Show comes out and literally manhandles the shit out of Primo.  After delivering a serious chokeslam to pick up the victory Rosa attempts to distract Show for an Epico shot… It didn’t work as he quickly got chokeslammed to the mat as well.  Show looks to be ready for Rhodes.  During the match we officially find out Christian is out of the 6 man tag and has been replaced by Drew McIntyre.

WoooOhhhh WooooOhhh  Cody comes out and cuts a serious promo.  He is as I said before lightyears ahead of his age in terms of heel work.  I hope Cody keeps the IC as I think the Show could really put him over more.  The white IC strap still makes me smile as I love the old school look.

Quick Taker and HHH video package like 30 seconds, nobody cares.

Bellas are backstage arguing about what team will win, Teddy or Johnny.  Zack comes in and blows his spot with the Bellas insulting them both inadvertently.  Eve quickly comes in and teases Zack more and more and this angle is total shit.

Punk being interviewed backstage and he takes the high road with everything and tells Jericho to eave his family out of it.  Nice little promo by Punk to be honest.  The guy is gold when around a mic.

Match 7: Mark Henry V. Khali

Khali can not wrestle to save his life and Mark Henry who is not a great wrestler either carried him thru the match. Both men are being accompanied by their team GM’s Johnny and teddy respectively.  Khali got the early hand but it was quickly ended by Henry who gave him the Worlds strongest slam.  At the end Johnny tosses teddy in the ring and Henry is protected by team Johnny outside the ring to serve as enforcers.  Team Teddy runs out and a brawl breaks out.  Booker goes into the ring to distract Henry from murdering Henry and delivers a scissor kick to Henry.  Booker then joins teams Teddy as his 6th member for the Mania match.  So we now know the 12 man participating.

Another quick Rock and Cena promo…

So the 12 man tag is now .

Johnny: Otunga, Henry, Miz, McIntyre, Ziggler and Swagger
Teddy: Santino, Khali, Booker, Kofi, Truth and Ryder

Lets be fair the superior talent is on Johnny’s team and it is not even close.  I hope they go the proper route and let Johnny win but they might go with the face team which IMO will destroy Raw for a long time as Smackdown is already barely watchable with Long in charge.

Up next we got the Rock and Cena with their last promos before Mania.  Rock starts it and using his same old tired thing, blah blah blah.  Cena comes out and 10000% gets the best of the promo again.  He is winning every week and it is really not even close.

So instead of talking about what each said I am going on a rant for a minute…

Rock was quick to leave the WWE and chase the fame and money of hollywood.  I can not sit here and say I blame him.  I would take the money and less abuse on my body too.  But he he a sell out, I loved the Rock no question as a younger fan but now I am bored of him.  Dwayne cut the Rock out of his name in hollywood now because he doesn’t like being the Rock.  But when he is in the ring he loves being the Rock and talking the 3rd person.

What I am trying to wrap my head around is all the people who supported Cena for years and years and once the Rock comes back all the Cena supporters turned on him for the Rock.  That is rather weak.  I support Cena he works as hard as anyone in the industry ever has and to me that is worth its weight in gold.  I mean if you think about it, Cena has had to carry this match for 10+ months while the Rock was not around and that is not easy to do and he did it.  Rock is propelling it now that he is there every Monday leading up to Mania but this was all carried by Cena.  I pray this will be a great match and it has all the makings for it.  Let see how it plays out in just a few more days.

See you all next week with the Raw after Mania which is always a great night of wrestling.

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About John Mayer

31 year old wrestling fan and writer
This entry was posted in Joe G's RAW review, Joe Gendron, WWE and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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