Note from John: I would like to welcome Joe to the site. He like me is a life long wrestling fan and will be a great addition to the staff. If you have Twitter follow him @TwittaWorldOrder. And now here is his review on last night’s RAW.
So Raw opens with a live shot of a pretty amped up Philly crowd and Cole and Lawler hyping Mania in just 2 weeks. I love that the show opens with CM Punk and not Cena or Rock and the geriatric match members. Punk revisits the whole Jericho situation of his father being a drunk. Punk plays off the crowd extremely well as he always does. These 2 have built a 1000 times better match or Mania than Rock has with Cena. Punk calls alcoholism a serious disease and it really doesn’t get much pop however. He continues to call out Jericho is a way only Punk can and does it amazingly as usual. He preaches on about how we can all beat our addictions and demons like his father has. Punk delivered an amazing promo and his music cuts back on only to be interrupted by Jericho once again. Jericho quickly apologizes for his actions last week. The apology comes off as truly heartfelt but quickly turns into a not so heartfelt apology when he straight clowns Punks sister and her apparent drug problem. Jericho continues to claim he is going to turn Punk into a drunk after Mania. Punk lashes back with a FUCK YOU and calls him a piece of shit and says he will beat it out of him. Amazing opening promo by 2 of the best in the game right now. Jericho just does amazing heel work and Punk is just Punk and it is fun watching these 2 build their match every week.
Match 1: Big Show V. Kane
Well here we go with more of an attempt to shove the Big Show down our throats and Kane being pushed into main event status. The fact that WWE doesn’tt show all of Kanes entrance was a serious letdown. Kanes wig however even bigger letdown, hey bro 6 months ago you were bald now you have long flowing hair. So the Show comes out and then boom we get more of Cody Rhodes which is never a bad thing. Rhodes delivers an incredible video package of Big Show’s embarrassing Mania moments. Rhodes is ringside in boxing gloves and taunting Show. Show hits a pretty lame spear, tries to go up top for god only knows why, Cody distracts him and it is quickly followed up by a Kane choke-slam off the top rope for the W. Rhodes runs in hits the disaster kick and then handcuffs show and just tools on him and I love every second of it. Rhodes is so far ahead of his time with his heel work and should be main eventing soon… Show is all types of groggy and Lawler and Cole do the normal it has gone to far garbaggio.
Match 2: Otunga w/ Big Johnny V. Santino w/Teddy Long
I think Otunga is a great talent. I literally hate and wish Teddy Long would just disappear. I think his whole gimmick is played out and just flat out insulting to watch. Santino comes out and all the simpleminded fans who love the joke gimmicks go nuts for the waste of a championship belt on Santinos waist. Onto the match Otunga hits some awesome poses and looks like a goddamn bodybuilder. Santino hits a few moves and my man Big Johnny throws his phone in the ring which Santino smashes it and Otunga slams his clown ass for the W! Johnny mocks the shit out of Santino and Teddy comes in the ring and like the total bitch he is bitch slaps Big Johnny, cause apparently tough guys slap now a days. He immediately runs out of the ring away from Johnny and does his lame ass dance on the ramp which finally gets no pop and we start to realize that Long is a worthless character in the WWE.
Oh sweet we get to hear from the Rock after the commercial break. I wonder how awful this promo will be. People still love him but he has not cut a good promo once in this entire Match build up. Lets see what tonight brings, I am going to guess more of the same regurgitated Rock BS about Cena having lady parts and being a fruity pebble kung pow bitch and so on and so on…
Rock opens with his crap finally the Rock has come back… He goes on about Philly kicking ass and he is standing in front of the Rocky statue, lame. No disrespect to Philly but this shit is weak and the crowd is not responding to him at all and it is great. He references Hogan and Warrior and does some god awful imitations. He gets a pretty decent reception for his reference to his Mania match in Philly against Austin where he gets beat. He rambles on and on about how he beat Austin and Hogan, blah blah blah is all I hear. He is claiming he has just John Cena left to beat in his career. He hits a bunch more awful imitations and I can not even write more about this promo cause is completely blows.
Match 3: Daniel Bryan © with AJ V. Zack Ryder.
Dbry comes down just getting serious heat with his YES YES YES gimmick which I totally love. AJ is fly as hell by the way. So nice to see Ryder back in the ring and getting a nice push right away in a match against Bryan. Match opens with some nice back and forth and a lot of time killing moves which is likely cause Ryder is not in great ring shape yet and has gotten gassed pretty quickly. Ryder goes for the Ruff Ryder gets countered andbryaasily submits Ryder with the ell Lock… YES YES YES!! I love Dbry’s character and seeing another wrestler not bodybuilder being a champion. That match was very short and hard to really get any good feel for anything with it.
Match 4: John Cena V. Mark Henry
Cena’s music drops and he gets his normal 50 50 heat and cheers. I like Cena I admit it I dont care if people don’t but I can not hate someone who works his ass off like he does. Shit Cena got in a car accident earlier on Monday before Raw and he comes out and wrestles. Think about how many people would normally milk that and takes months out of work. He is a true hard worker and deserves his due. Here comes Mark Henry, it is cool to not see this guy as the Champion anymore cause he was boring as hell. And here we go. Henry tosses Cena across the ring with ease. Cena is being overpowered by Henry pretty easily early on. Trying to cut Henry down and is just being dominated pretty easily thus far. On a quick side note how much cooler was Lawler as the heel of the announce booth and not the face. Henry continues to work Cena over outside the ring now. The guy is a monster no question, and of course WWE cuts to commercial mid match like usual. As we return Cena makes his offensive move and hits the 5 knuckle shuffle. Cena impressively as hell gets Cena up in an AA and that is pretty badass given how big Henry is. OH shit, the Rocks music hits and the crowd goes fucking bananas. Cena has already won the match and Rock is running into the ring where he promptly Rock Bottoms his former Nation of Domination homie Henry and stares at Cena for about 5 sends and bails out. That is good build up better than the normal garbage promos he has been cutting. It is still kind of foreign to me to actually see Rock hit a wrestling move tho. Good build up following shit ones for nearly a year.
We recap the HHH and Michael’s thing again, who gives a shit.
We then go and watch the ridiculous idea of having my future wife Maria Menounos and Beth Phoenix on Extra. Again who gives a shit.
Miz is in the ring and we should now all bask in his awesomeness for a few minutes………….. Ok that was long enough. He starts his promo with a King Kong Bundy reference. Miz complains about his lack of a WrestleMania match. Miz really has fallen and lost most of his heat since last Mania. His promos are even getting bad. Sheamus comes out and we have a match. I am not a Sheamus fan he bores me to death. No charisma and barely any technical skills.
Match 5: Miz V. Sheamus
Sheamus is using raw power to dominate the Miz early on. Big Johnny and Otunga are watching the match in the back with the possibility of having Miz on team Johnny! Miz generates some offense and starts to take it to Sheamus. Sheamus is boring in the match like usual. Miz is clearly calling his spots out to Sheamus as the match goes and shows why he is fallen off the Mania card completely. Sheamus turns the tide and starts to dominate Miz again. He misses the Brogue kick but turns around and hits the next one for the W. God Sheamus is boring as hell. He really is not getting any pop either.
The crowd is really quiet tonight for a Philly crowd. I dont think the WWE mic’d the crowd up much at all with the fear of old ECW chants or maybe even the fact that Philly fans will let out some vulgar comments!!! Philly is a great city they do not censor themselves at all.
The recap of the Punk and Jericho promo from the beginning of the night is aired and is not as good as it was because they took out Punks parts and used mostly just Jericho’s, weak.
Oh great we return with Mr monotone himself Randy Orton. I think my 11 year old son could cut a better promo than this hack, scratch that I KNOW my 11 year old could. He doesn’t get any pop at all tonight when his music drops which is very rare for Orton. I enjoy that however as I have always hated this guy. He starts his interview with his boring monotone shit. He starts yapping about how Kane was embarrassed by him last summer. He continues about how Kane has an identity crisis but he doesn’t cause his name is Randy Orton. Hey Randy you do know that Alberto Del Rio uses the whole “My Name Is” angle. And once again Orton cuts a total shit promo. God send his back to OVW and teach him to talk please.
Be a star promo, whatever. Don’t be a bully (unless it is in a WWE angle then it is ok). Again whatever.
EXCUSE ME!!! EXCUSE ME!!! I don’t care I enjoy the shit out of Vickie she gets serious heat and is great at what she does. And she drops huge news announcing Ziggler and Swagger are the 2 newest members of Team Johnny, nice set of heels on Johnny’s team!
The Once in A Lifetime documentary looks kinda ok for next week but will likely just wind up being an hour of propaganda pieces for the 2 guys, however I will watch it.
Match 6: Swagger & Zigger w/Vickie V. Kofi & R Truth w/Aksana
Hoping for a great Tag match here as the WWE does not understand that a lot of us fans LOVE a great tag match. Swagger and Kofi open with Kofi on fire to start the match. Swagger bounces back after a minute and him and Ziggler work extremely well as a Tag team. Ziggler catches a tag and continues to wear Kofi down keeping him grounded and taunts Truth the entire time. Ziggler and Swagger continue to cut the ring in half and beat the snot out of Kofi. Kofi turns the table with a smooth DDT on Swagger. The 2 crawl across the ring to their partners and Truth hits the hot tag very nicely against Ziggler. Truth clears out Swagger and then misses the scissor kick. Ziggler hits a nice move and gets the pin on Truth with help from Vickie tossing truths foot off the rope.
Vickie and Aksana begin to go at it in the ring!! The 2 teams separate the ladies from one another and calm their respected ladies down.
I got to admit Team Johnny has so much more talent on it than Team Teddy. I love all the guys on Johnny’s team minus Swagger.
Cool clip of HHH tombstoning Ziggler from the house show in MSG last night as a lead in to the 3 geriatrics getting in the ring together to end Raw.
Looks like we are going to end Raw with HHH, HBK and Taker. Another match I have zero interest in. I loved watching the 3 of these guys in the 90’s and early 2000’s I will gladly admit that but it is time for them all to just pass the torch. We have seen this HHH and Taker match at Mania twice before what good is a 3rd time? Maybe there is a lot of sentimental value to this match for a lot of fans but for me it is not worth it. All three are shells of their former selves.
Heart Break Grandfathers music hits first he bounces around like some jerkoff on the runway before walking to the ring. Bro you are retired and in the Hall of Fame just ride off into the sunset man stop showing your face around we don’t need to see anymore. Here he goes with the end of an era promo. Puts himself as the main draw of the match saying he will steal the show again at this Mania. This promo sucks even worse than the Rocks and Ortons so far. Can he be impartial and yada yada yada. He s calling out taker and imagine that Takers music hits. Taker does his normal 45 minute entrance. He walks to the ring with his shaven head. He confronts the other old guy in the ring and he begins… He gets about 10 words in when Mr. Stephanie McMahons music drops and out he comes and not in a suit, wow. Water spit and he grabs a mic. He starts ripping into Taker and telling him not to worry about old man Michaels’ ego. HHH explains how badass the 2 of them are at Hell in A Cell matches. All in all not a bad promo by HHH so far, not great but better than HBK and Takers. He points to the Mania sign and rambles on about April 1st and how the world will see the end of Takers era. Takers asks if HHH is ready to give everything including his family which HHH says he is and will. Mean Mark Callous stares him down and vice versa. Taker ends it on an awesome one liner asking HHH if he remembers when he said Shawn was better than him? He promptly claims he is and walks out with the 2 DX members just staring at one another.
All in all a pretty decent Raw leading to Mania. Next weeks should be quite weak as you do not risk any of your stars getting hurt the week before Mania.
Hope everyone enjoyed my first Raw review I will be back after next weeks Raw with another review if John is ok with it.