Making An Impact
By Andrew B.
Hi everybody and we just went through another week and we landed on Thursday which can only mean one thing, Snookie & Ronnie are on theJerseyShore. WRONG James Storm and Tara are on TNA. This week on Impact Alex Shelley returns to the ring to take on Zema Ion. Also Samoa Joe battles Matt Morgan and the main event is a tag team table match. Let’s start now before We Have a Situation (Jersey Shore Joke).
The show starts with a video package and then we see Jeff attacking Bully Ray backstage and choking him with a broomstick. He rams Ray into some ladders and wall until Bobby Roode pulls up in a white pickup truck, gets out and attacks Hardy from behind. Hardy goes down, and Bubba continues working him over with a pipe before throwing a big wooden pallet down on top of him. Bubba tells Roode to open the back of the truck, and they dump him into the back and get ready to make off with Hardy, but James Storm runs in to make the save and goes after both men. He busts Bubba open but Roode jumps him from behind and they manage to beat him down as well. They get ready to put Storm in the truck with Hardy, but Sting comes out with his baseball bat and nails both of them until they run off.
We then get the show introduction and yes Impact has a theme song now but no opening pyro, maybe next week but our first match is with the Knockouts.
Match 1: Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara in a #1 Contender Match:
They all shake hands and then Tara boots Velvet in the midsection, Mickie goes for a clothesline but Tara falls into a back bridge and Mickie wipes Velvet out with a clothesline. Velvet recovers and dumps Mickie to the floor, then goes to cover Tara butTarapicks her up and rams her to the corner and goes for the Widow’s Peak. Mickie breaks that up with a boot to the midsection. Mickie and Tara go at it in the corner andTarajust slams Mickie face first into the mat by the hair and that must have hurt.Taracharges Mickie in the corner and runs into Mickie’s but Tara takes control as we go to break. Back from break & Velvet hits a monkey flip onTaraand goes for the Pedigree, but Mickie stops her with a neck breaker. Tara slams Mickie and does the beautiful standing moonsault; Mickie rolls out of the way and takes control and hits a flying head scissors on Mickie butTaratakes her out with a clothesline after. Mickie with a flapjack onTarathen she goes up top and takes Velvet out with the thez press. Tara dumps Velvet to the floor, Mickie spin kicks Tara in the jaw and covers her, butTaragets her hand on the bottom rope at 2. Mickie goes for the DDT, Velvet takes her out with a clothesline, andTaragives Velvet a spinning side suplex onto Mickie and covers Mickie for the win after about 10 minutes.
Match Rating: *** out of 5
Gail Kim is backstage watching on a monitor and congratulates Tara, saying the best woman won, but she’s going to show why she’s the best Knockout in history. She and Tara know each other inside and out but she’ll prove she’s the best at Against All Odds.
Sting is backstage and he is coming to the ring after break.
We take a look back at the brawl that opened the show, and then Sting comes out to the ring with an injured Hardy and Storm. He tells Bully Ray and Robert Roode to get down to the ring right now, leading to a brawl between the two sides until Sting uses his bat and separates everyone. Sting says there is an imaginary line and Ray says screw the line and the brawl starts again, so Sting drops his microphone and goes after Bubba and Roode with the bat again. Sting says it’s obvious you can’t tame wild animals, and then agrees with the crowd to let them fight, so Hardy and Storm will take on Roode and Bubba tonight in a tag match. The fight starts again and Storm suggests to Sting that they make it a table’s match. Sting asks the crowd and then makes it a table’s match.
Alex Shelley is backstage & says this is the longest he’s gone since wrestling since he was about 18, and that he has a match against Zema Ion tonight, and if he wins he gets Austin Aries at Against All & he thinks the odds are in his favor.
Eric Young is backstage getting ready for his match and runs into a guy he thinks is Sammy Davis Jr, but then Winter and Angelina Love come out and pretend to seduce him so Angelina can try and kick him in the nuts, but he’s wearing a cup for and they run off as ODB shows up and tells him they’re wrestling Winter and Angelina later and he better hit those hussies.
Match 2: Alex Shelley vs. Zema Ion:
They tie up and Ion takes Shelley to the ropes, Shelley locks in a side headlock but Ion shoots him to the ropes but Shelley takes control with chops, then a snap mare and a kick to the back. Ion begs for mercy as Shelley goes after him in the corner, but cheap shots Shelley when he backs off and hits a twisting cross body off the second rope for 2. Ion goes for a head scissors, but Shelley just dumps him on his face and sends him to the outside. Ion dodges a baseball slide, but Shelley dodges an elbow drop as he comes back into the ring. Ion hits a neck breaker for 2 and then pokes Shelley in the eye Shelley fights back and hits Ion with a few clotheslines then Shelley comes off the ropes with a double stomp, Ion moves and hits the DDT out of nowhere. Ion goes to the top for the 450, but Shelley moves and hits Sliced Bread #2 for win after about 5 minutes.
Winner: Alex Shelley
Match Rating: ** out of 5
AJ Styles is backstage wondering what kind of effect the business has had on everyone because all his buddies in Fortune have kind of turned their backs on him, so he knew it was only a matter of time with Frankie. He can be Daniels’ puppet, but they’re going to get to the bottom of this tonight.
Tara is also backstage, and she’s thrilled to be the #1 contender and will have the belt around her size 28 waist soon. She knows Gail’s repertoire and all her dirty tricks, but she’ll be ready for them.
Eric Bischoff shows up at Garett Bischoff’s MMA gym and wants to know where his trainer is and we will find out who it is after break.
Back from break Eric Bischoff is at his son’s gym, and Eric is clearly stunned to see who it is, but tells the cameraman to stop filming and get out of here and we don’t get a chance to find out who it is.
We have the entrances of Winter & Angelina Love followed by Eric Young & ODB and then we go to break.
Match 3: Eric Young & ODB vs. Angelina Love& Winter:
EY and Angelina start, and of course EY goes to lock up with Earl Hebner multiple times followed by a cartwheel. Then he ties up with Earl again and Winter finally nails him from behind. He slowly turns around and takes his pants off but he is wearing tights under, but Winter bails out of the ring. Angelina comes in so ODB tags herself in and runs over Angelina with a clothesline and smashes her with splash in the corner. She hits the Bronco Buster, knocks Winter off the apron, then goes toe to toe with Angelina while EY ties up with the Earl again. Winter hooks ODB’s foot from the outside and Angelina yanks her down by the hair and covers for 2. Winter with a backbreaker for 2, then hangs ODB in the Tree of Woe and chokes her with her boot. Winter distracts the referee while Angelina chokes her from the outside and then Winter comes over and kicks her in her special place followed by a cover for 2. ODB goes to make the hot tag and takes a drink of her flask and says in with Angelina. ODB with a series of shoulder blocks and a fall away slam, then EY gets Winter up in a fireman’s carry while ODB gets Angelina up in a firewoman’s carry, they do stereo airplane spins and ODB hits a Samoan drop for the win after 7 minutes. After ODB gives Young a big kiss as they celebrate in the ring.
Winners: Eric Young & ODB
Match Rating: * out of 5
Backstage to Bully Ray who asks Roode when his partner grew a set of balls. Roode says he didn’t see that coming, and Ray says he didn’t keep him in check like he did withDevon. Bully says he’s the World Champion, Roode says yeah, and Ray says “not for long.” Roode asks what that meant and Bully says never mind because they need to go do this, but neither wants to turn their back on the other and leave first as we go to break.
Back from break and we get a video package recapping the history between Matt Morgan & Crimson and Samoa Joe & Magnus.
Match 4: Matt Morgan vs. “Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe:
Joe tries to take Morgan’s legs out with kicks, and then takes Morgan to the corner and fires off some right jabs. Morgan grabs Joe by the throat and backs him across the ring into the corner and lays in some hard right hands and a chop. Morgan hits Joe with a leg drop on the ring apron and a head-butt. The action is back and forth as Morgan connects with a running clothesline in the corner, across the ring for another one, and a suplex for 2. Morgan signals that he’s going to finish, but takes too long and Joe hits an inverted atomic drop and senton splash for 2. Joe goes for the figure four leg lock, but Morgan kicks him off into the corner and hits a discus clothesline for the win.
Winner: Matt Morgan
Match Rating: ** out of 5
After the match Magnus goes after Crimson on the floor and Morgan goes to save, but Joe comes after him from behind and takes out his legs, setting Magnus hits a top rope elbow drop, then they head up the ramp and taunt Morgan and Crimson from the entryway as we go to break.
Back from break James Storm and Jeff Hardy are backstage saying how funny it is that they went from kicking each other’s butts to watching each other’s backs, but that’s because it’s business and they don’t take it personally. Tonight they started the show with a bang and end it with a BOOM!
AJ Styles comes out to the ring and says he wants to know why Kazarian turned on him and why he’s letting Daniels order him around like a dog, but Daniels’ music hits and he comes out with Kazarian, who can’t even make eye contact with Styles. Kazarian starts to talk, but Daniels snaps his fingers and Kazarian hands him the microphone. Daniels says it’s familiar to see him standing in the ring complaining because for ten years, whenever he faces some adversity, he comes out and gets a microphone to complain so everyone can hear, and if the Golden Boy doesn’t get his way, he throws a tantrum, he throws microphones, fists, chairs, at other athletes. They’re not playing this game because Kazarian doesn’t owe AJ answers or a damn thing. AJ says that’s fine because there’s other ways of getting answers, he climbs out of the ring and goes after them but Daniels says do it just like a thug fromGainesville,Georgia. AJ says he’s got a better way: he’ll turn his back and let Kazarian get in the ring and take his head off and he wants Kazarian to make his decision right now. Kazarian turns to leave, but Daniels stops him and tells him to go get him right now. Kazarian marches to the ring…but stops. Daniels asks him what he’s doing and tells him to just take his head off, then goes after AJ himself. AJ quickly takes him out with a leaping enziguiri, and then tells Kazarian that he doesn’t care what’s going on between him and Daniels, but he needs to make it right, make his decision, and get in the ring with him right now. Kazarian looks down at Daniels, then gets up on the apron and hesitates before getting in the ring. AJ sticks his hand out, but Daniels tells him to stop and says he knows exactly why he can’t shake AJ’s hand and to get out of the ring right now. Kazarian hangs his head and follows Daniels out of the ring, and Daniels says he’s had it up to here and AJ has put his hands on him for the last time, so he’s going to go to Sting to propose a match to settle this once and for all: he wants AJ Styles to take on Frankie Kazarian, and tells Kazarian to go to Sting and ask for the match right now as we go to break.
BACK FROM BREAK & IT”S MAINEVENT TIME!!
Match 5: Jeff Hardy & James Storm vs. Bobby Roode & Bully Ray in a Tag Team Tables Match:
The match immediately spills out to the floor and they fight around ringside and occasionally ram each other into the tables at ringside. Bully Ray tries to suplex Hardy through a table, but Hardy hooks his foot on the ropes and sinks back down before ramming Ray into the steps and coming off the apron with a double ax handle. Storm goes for a suplex on the ramp, Roode blocks and reverses to one of his own as Hardy unsuccessfully tries to suplex Bully into the table and gets slammed as a result. Bully tells Roode to put Storm’s head on the table and goes to whip it with the chain, but Storm fights his way out and Hardy comes out of nowhere to come to the rescue as we go to break. Back from break & Storm is spewing beer in Ray’s face and ramming him into the guardrail. Hardy catapults Roode into the ring post and then slides a table into the ring. Storm rolls Bobby into the ring and they set the table up and try to suplex Roode through it, but Ray pulls the table out of the way and wipes both men out with a double clothesline. Ray tries to backdrop Hardy through the table, but now Storm moves the table and saves Hardy, then clotheslines Bully out to the floor. Storm goes out after him, but Roode puts the boots to Storm from the apron before going back after Hardy. Roode sets a table up in the corner and Hardy starts to fight back, but Bully nails him and tries to charge Hardy with a big boot. Hardy moves and Ray’s foot goes through the table and Storm dumps him to the outside again, but turns around right into a spinebuster from Roode. Ray drags Hardy over to the corner and pulls him into the ring post by the hair as Roode takes Storm outside and slams his face into the ring steps. Roode brings Storm back in and tries to superplex him onto the table, but Hardy comes in from behind and hits the Twist of Fate, then sets Roode up on the table so Storm can come off the top rope with a flying elbow drop that sends Roode through the table and brings this match to an end.
Winners: Jeff Hardy & James Storm
Match Rating: *** out of 5
After the match Bully Ray comes & attacks Hardy & Storm with a chair while Taz explains how embarrassed he must be at losing a table’s match. Ray pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up on the inside the ring and then grabs Hardy and tells Roode to hit Storm. Roode kicks Storm in the face, then they set Hardy up and deliver a Super Bomb through the table, as EMTs come in to check on him and Ray and Roode again stand tall to end the show.
It was a very enjoyable Impact with two *** matches. The knockout match was good and shocking as I did not expect Tarato win. The X Division match was good as well and the main event was great. The in ring promo between Styles, Daniels & Kaz was good also as I like this storyline. The Joe vs. Migrant match was decent for 5 minutes but I did not like how the match ended on a clothesline. The Bischoff Dad & Son Storyline is just horrible and I do not want to find out who Garett’s trainer is if he wears Red & Yellow. The only bad match of the show was EY & ODB vs. Love & Winter. I enjoy comedy matches but this was just I do not know but I like Eric Young.
The 1/26/12 Impact earned a 7 out of 10 because it was that good.
Here is the Current Card for Against All Odds:
AJ Styles vs. Kazarian (w/Christopher Daniels)
TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
Matt Morgan & Crimson (champions) vs. Samoa Joe & Magnus
X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH
Austin Aries (champion) vs. Alex Shelley
KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Gail Kim (champion) vs.Tara
#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH – X DIVISION: Jesse Sorensen vs. Zema Ion
Well that’s all folks join me next week as Tara will battle Gail Kim in a non-title match & Garett will reveal his trainer as Impact is in London.